Should I give up on dating?(Mature advice only)?

Question

I'm 34 in great shape and have a giving personality--which I consider a rare, positive quality. I have a job and graduated college in the top 10% of my class. I've tried every thing imaginable to increase my friendship network and dating prospects, including personals, dance clubs, bookstores, laundry mats, and just approaching strangers. I still can't get a date with a slim woman who has no kids and doesn't smoke. I've even considered relocating since I'm part Latino from Knoville, TN to a more progressive city like Atlanta. I can't afford to do that now. Is there a point when I should stop looking and accept that fact that there is something that is repelling people? I do have a larger than average nose...I think I look Italian or somewhat Arab--but surely this is not the reason--or is it? Being dateless makes it hard to feel like a man sometimes...any advice or even a friendship would be appreciated. I don't usually sound so desparate, but I am at wits end.

Answer 1

I think a nose is not a reason why someone wouldn't find a couple, unless you were some Cyrano de Bergerac, and about your personality, you don't sound repellent either. Since you can't move right now, maybe it would be time to relax a bit, I mean it seems like you've put yourself out there in many ways. Doesn't sound like there's much more to do... But why saying that you'll just give up? Just take it a bit slower, at your age you have chances to meet someone, unless you can prove me you've met every single woman who lives in your town.

Take away of your mind those ideas of being repellent! You sound like a nice guy.

Answer 2

Aw. I hate to hear things like this because you sound like a great guy!
Maybe you should stop looking and focus more on you. Most generally, whenever you really truly stop looking, someone will show up for you when you least expect it. It sounds like you are doing the footwork, but to no avail. Try to get more active in your own life and while doing so, you may find someone that will make you happy. And, the advantage of doing things that you enjoy (running, reading in a Book Club, playing music, playing sports), you will feel better about yourself and more confident. Women will see that and be attracted to the passion that you put into your likes. If you meet someone while doing one of these activities, the bonus is that you two will have something in common, a common ground to start from.

And, just a side note, it's not your nose, honey. You know how when you misplace something and you put all of your energy into finding it, how it never shows up? But, when you least expect to find it, it is right in front of your eyes? Sometimes relationships are like that. Enjoy being single and being by yourself. That confidence is definately extremely sexy in a man-the fact that he does not need someone else to make him happy. Your time will come to be in a great relationship. Usually the longer we wait and the more productive we are with our own time, the better the relationship when we do enter into one. Good luck and quit thinking that it's you. It's not. It's just not the right time right at this very moment.

Answer 3

Maybe you should consider a total makeover. New hair cut. New clothes. New lifestyle. At your age, it will be hard to find a woman without children. Why not volunteer your services? There are lots of things to do in Knoxville. On Friday nights go to Market Square Mall or the World Fair Park, they have things to do there. I would stay away from Michaels and Cotton Eyed Joes.....although they are meat markets if you don't like smoke they are filled with them. But there are nice women there. You are in the heart of the Bible Belt. Try a nice church. On Kingston Pike there are quite a few large churches there....2nd Presby, Cedar Springs Baptist/Presby.....check them out.
Women are the same no matter where you go. Just narrow your search. Go to places you like and you will find someone there who likes the things you do. Just remember.....women can lose weight. Check out the chunky ones. Remember there is something about YOU the slim ones don't like. hmmmmm. Good luck.

Answer 4

Chubby or fat women need not apply seems to be your motto. We all have something wrong with us. You claim you have a big nose and your skin is dark, making you to resemble someone of Italian or Arabic descent. And here's my opinion. I think you are looking much too hard for acceptance. You need to have a more mature attitude. You don't need a mate to be happy. There are some people who are in a relsationship and are so miserable. Live your life and open yourself to what comes your way. Love always seems to come to those who aren't looking. That's why it is so often such a wild and wonderful things when it does happen.

Answer 5

No, I don't believe you should give up! You sound like a man who knows exactly what he wants, and is not willing to compromise.

Don't compromise! Be patient, and when the time is right, you will meet the one you have been waiting for.

If you are seriously lonely, then start looking in your areas of interest. What do you like to do??

Musical concerts? Libraries?? Church?? Volunteer work??

Honestly, if you think you repel people, then maybe you are. Look at yourself, and how you want people to see you. Is this the real you that is projecting?

Answer 6

Sometimes it's difficult to find someone who peaks your interest. You may need some time to reflect on who you are and what you want/need in a relationship. Sometimes, qualities that may be important to you, may fly out the door when you meet the right one. There are plenty of single woman who are looking for someone just like you. Don't throw in the towel. Just enjoy yourself and don't have any expectations. It's when you least expect it - you'll meet the girl of your dreams.

Answer 7

Don't fret. It is difficult to meet quality people on your own. Try Match.com.

A good friend who is a paramedic met this terrific woman on Match about a year ago. She is a teacher in the high school he graduated from 35 years ago. Isn't that amazing? She lives only 10 miles away. The chances of him meetinng her on his own are negative ziltch.

They are getting married in February.

Answer 8

Well, maybe you first need to put your criterion down or expound it; or be more realistic? You seem like a great guy but you're quite too picky. Are they the kind of women you really want? Why don't you try and meet other women besides slim, uncommitted, and non-smoking women? You might be surprised.

Answer 9

honestly NO......people give up too easily on trying to find the right person, and really there is no "right" person, its just someone ur compatible with that u can accept for all their strenghts and weaknesses..so if ur looking for someone perfect, DONT.........but dont give up on dating, i look and my mom that kept trying until she found happiness.......and of course after i suffered my first heartbreak from a relationship that i invested years into i almost give up on dating but dont........and stop looking in all the wrong places, and when u do find the right person, she wont care what u look like and how large ur nose is

Answer 10

Maybe you should broaden your aspects.How about a chubby girl with 12 kids?LOL Seriously, the more barriers you put up,the less people you will meet.And you will probably find someone when you least expect it.