Is he serious about me? or playing games?

Question

I've fallen fast for a man who at first was great but then we hit a rocky patch and nearly split up. I thought it was sorted then he went quiet and i didn't see him for a week. I told him we needed to talk and told him i loved him but needed to know he felt the same. He told me he loved the bones off me. Now its going wrong again. In my head i'm telling myself if he didn't want me he would say but my heart is breaking and i don't know what to do it just feels like i can't approach him about it again because i don't want to keep doubting him. Can any1 help.? I really don't want to loose him as i really like him but is it really hurting....

Answer 1

Variation of replies here aren't there....Men in my opinion can only cope with one thing at a time, maybe he is wanting to progress in his career, maybe something is going wrong in his personal life and he needs to sort it (and that doesn't mean he has anyone else). Maybe he feels that you are too emotionally dependent on him and he just needs a bit of space. Sometimes when you see someone all the time, the relationship becomes stagnant- you don't have much to say to each other and even where you socialise can become boring....

If you turn your life around, start doing things that you want to do and socialise with your friends instead of worrying and getting upset because he hasn't contacted you, then automatically you become less emotionally dependent on him and when you do see him then you have more conversation together because you have been out doing things independent of him. If you have conversations about what you have been up to, then it wouldn't sound strange or untrustworthy to ask what he has been doing with his spare time.

You do have to trust in a relationship, otherwise it won't work. I do agree with the elastic band reaction as mentioned by another answerer. Men like their time to do as they want and then they like their time feeling loved. If you are able to give them both then they stay around.

Good Luck

Answer 2

you are doing all the running and making all the effort. If he loves the bones off you- why isn't he reciprocating this?
If somebody really loves you, they can't wait to be with you- endless phonecalls, wanting to meet up- spending time with you.
It seems to me that he feels it's better to string you along until he finds someone he is more interested in.

You can still be independent in a relationship and have your own lives, but when you say You can't approach him? It sounds like there's no rapport, no meeting of minds? What basis for a relationship is that? If he loved you, he would know how you were feeling and be more sensitive to your needs.

be strong and tell him, that whilst you know relationships can take a while to form and progress, you feel like you are on your own and that maybe it's time you found somebody that wanted to be with you more. See what he says- but don't give in to idle compliments that don't get put in to action.

You can't help who you fall for, but don't expect him to reciprocate the feelings if he does not feel the same.

from experience, when a bloke likes you lots- they go for it, especially when the love is new and exciting.

Don't do all the running or appear needy as some blokes hate this and use you all the more for it. I've seen it happen to a friend of mine. The boyfriend flirting with everyone but her, but her telling us how much he likes her.

get real, get strong, be confident, make the most of your mind and looks and keep things on your terms- if he comes running - keep him- if he goes- let him go and move on.

Answer 3

If hes told you that he loves you why dont you believe him? I know that relationships have there ups and downs but thats all part and parcel of being in love. You just gotta chill and not take things so seriously.

If you persist in this method of self doubt you will destroy any hope of this relationship moving to the next level. I'm sure that if you two sat down and talked you would find the answer. Perhaps he finds you too over bearing when youve had a fall out. Don't cling on so tightly if he loves you and he means it wheres the problem?

Answer 4

Men have an intimacy cycle ..

At certain times we do feel the need to be remote in order to avoid feeling volnerable from the feelings we have when we are in love ... this is natural ...

The cycle continues after you spent some time being remote and cold and independant you then start to crave the warmth and sensitivity that being less remote gives you ..

If you interfere when he is trying to be independant he will resent you and feel crouded and want to strecth further away ..

if you leave him he will come back !!! I am almost sure of this ..

In short be cool and see what happens this sounds like a normal part of the way men are to me

Answer 5

He sounds like he is playing around with you, yes it does hurt, but that's men, one min they want u next they don't, you need to look at yourself and say do i really need to be f---ed around like this or forget him and go have some fun with my mates. Don't let anyone make you feel like this, as this is not love, people that truly love you don't want to hurt you do they!

Answer 6

Games??

Goodluck
xo

Answer 7

YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND. You don't need to understand what this guy is doing, or why he is doing it. You need to understand why you are putting up with this behavior. Take the time to figure yourself out and I suggest that you read the book, "He's not that into you"

Answer 8

He sounds lie he is playing games I'm afraid

Answer 9

love's not about saying it but showing it and he doesn't seem to be showing it much otherwise you'd not be asking us. If it's hurting it can't be right, sweetie

Answer 10

Sometimes you have to do what's best for YOU...who cares if he is serious or not...is he crushing you emotionally. You cant be good for anyone if you are not good to yourself.