I work with someone who is OCD, bipolar, controlling, stressful, ego-dominated, bossy,negative and divisive!!?

Question

I am very easy going, patient, tolerant and understanding but I am finding it very difficult being in the same room with this person for 8 hours a day. I don't want to change my job because its really good so how can i change her?

Answer 1

send in the men in white coats this girl needs help. i is feeling you pain

Answer 2

Who put all these "labels" on the co-worker? Have they told you they suffer with all these conditions?If not, I think that is very negative of you to label someone that is not assertive, strong. Instead, think of why they are being this way. Does she need medication to help her function? Does she have a bad home life? Will she cool down if you became more friendly?

There are many books on how to live/work/deal with difficult people. YOU cannot change HER. You can only change the situation or how you face it. Do you have to sit in the same room? Can you ask the supervisor for a desk change? Don't let her force you out of the job....find other method. I'm sorry that is tough, but you are seeking to resolve. That is good!!

If you master this, you could get promoted, who knows?

Answer 3

OCD, Bipolar/ Bipolar Depression, ADD are all in the same part of the DSM IV which is the diagnosing tool for mental illness. Mood swings are NOT an indication of bipolar. To be bipolar you should have sustained MANIA periods which you lose control, have racing thoughts that seem faster than you can talk and are completely reckless and careless. You apparently are very hung up on finding meaning in your behavior that may not be yours to own. While you seem obsessed to that point, it would help to see a counselor and hear it from them. This may calm your frantic thoughts. You should have control over your behavior enough to where you are not "punching walls". Or you may be a psychopath: Characteristics of a Psychopath You fit a lot of these: superficial charm self-centered & self-important need for stimulation & prone to boredom deceptive behavior & lying conning & manipulative little remorse or guilt shallow emotional response callous with a lack of empathy living off others or predatory attitude poor self-control promiscuous sexual behavior early behavioral problems lack of realistic long term goals impulsive lifestyle irresponsible behavior blaming others for their actions short term relationships

Answer 4

You cannot change her. You can only change yourself in any real way.

There are some good books out there on how to work with difficult people. Try putting that phrase in a search engine.

By the way, is she actually diagnosed with bipolar or is that another adjective you are using?

Answer 5

Unless the person you work with wants to change, there is nothing that will change their behavior. Oftentimes people are oblivious to how their behavior affects others. Perhaps you could help make this person become AWARE that their behavior/s are bothering you and/or others by dropping not-so-subtle hints to them, i.e. leaving a book on their desk regarding these various topics.

I highly recommend reading "Toxic Parents" and other books by Dr. Susan Forward. Everyone exhibits toxic behavior to some extent, but some people are more toxic than others. It sounds like you are working with someone who is highly toxic.

Has this person been diagnosed with OCD and bipolar conditions? If not, dropping pamphlets on their desk about thes conditions with list of local psychiatrists would give them a huge hint to seek medical treatment.

Read up on bullying behavior, and how to counter it.

This person may also be a narcissist. Read up on narcissists.

My suggestions for ways to deal with such people:

1. Do not let them see you react to their behavior. If necessary, go home and scream into a pillow. Rather, let them see the opposite effect -- if they blast you in your face, reply with a positive comment like "Your eyes are simply amazing when they dart back and forth like that -- reminds me of a ...." Or, reply with a smile, and tell them a joke like "Did I ever tell you that you remind me of my least favourite teacher?" hee hee!

2. YOU can control how or if you react to others. Others can control you only if you let them. Remember this.

3. If the person shouts commands at you, salute them like a soldier - a subtle hint!

4. With every negative comment they say, reply with a positive one. Like if they say "I hate Mondays", you reply "Well I love Fridays!" or if they say "I'm the only one that does the work around here", reply with "Thats because you're the only one that knows what he's doing!". Subtle humor can work wonders to de-stress yourself and prevent yourself from reacting.

If they say "Is it gonna rain all week?", reply "I hope so -- I've already begun building my ark!". If they try to put you down and criticize you without just cause, smile back and thank them for their input. Say loudly to them "Thank you Joe, for pointing out to me the things I had no idea were wrong with me. If it weren't for hypercritical people like you, nobody would realize they weren't perfect!" hee hee


Good luck!

Answer 6

There's most likely no hope of changing her. Her attitude could just be the nature of her personality and not due to her illness. I know many lovely people who have mental illness, and also some nasty ones that would be nasty whether they had a mental illness or not. I don't believe the core of the personality is easily (if ever) changed. Here's what i would do:

Communicate with her only when absolutely necessary, look straight through her at other times, do not initiate any sort of contact with her whatsoever.

Answer 7

I lived with someone who suffered the exact, it is an illness that can completely ground someone, i would commend her for actually working and trying hard to keep together a normal life instead of moping at home,dwelling in depression and claiming benefits, the last thing she needs is to be criticised, try learning about the illness yourself and do your best to accomodate such a horribe illness,also be thankful you have the valuable peace of mind that this person fights with everyday

Answer 8

Gee, did you work where I USED to? I had a great job too, good benefits but my health and mental state are worth more than that.You are very tolerant. I'd be outtathere.She is NEVER going to change.

Answer 9

its someone thats having a hellish time being mentally ill. I would change your job because you cannot discriminate against another because they are imbalanced.

Answer 10

Try giving her a good seeing to.

If that doesn't work do what I did. Divorce her.