Had a girl break-up with me and she lived with me for a month, then she moved in with this guy I worked with. I've been out, came close to hooking up, but just couldn't make myself go any further. I even had a situation ALMOST develop like how my relationship ended (example: I could've been that 'guy' who plays on a weak situation/girl). I go out, can't get comortable going out with groups cause I always got crap for it when I was in the relationship(and I was going out ALL the time!). What do I need to do. I hate feeling like Maverick when Goose died. And I 'm constantly feeling angry. And I can't bring myself to talk to anyone about it. HELP! please?
2006-11-03 20:12:51 · 6 answers · asked by lewisthomasp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This happened in JUNE. It's almost Thanksgiving... Is time REALLY the answer?!
2006-11-03 20:17:07 · update #1
I meant she stayed in the appt w/me AFTER she broke up with me
2006-11-03 20:53:35 · update #2
We met*2/05
Made it official in*5/05
Moved in 2gether*1/06
Forced 2 get our own appt*4/06
Bad times/split*6/06
She moves out*8/06
2006-11-04 21:19:19 · update #3
I'm in the same boat as you... just use this time to re-center yourself. Go out and just sit and have a beer by yourself. Just sit and think. A similar soul might approach you and share in your misery for a while. Eventually, it will pass. If you want a shortcut (which I'm not recommending); playing on a girl in a weak situation will make you feel powerful if a little guilty. I am NOT advocating date rape of ANY SORT! However, alot of guys are too nice for their own good and don't realize that a 24 year old woman is completely in control of her situation. Smooth talking and being a player does not necessarily mean you are taking advantage of someone. Girls like sex just as much as guys, and almost every girl worth her salt has some douchebag at home that they are on the rocks with. In other words, go hook up with someone hot, by any means necessary short of physical force or breaking up a marriage. It will boost your confidence in the short run, but don't forget the "re-centering your self" part. It's the only way you will find true happiness.
2006-11-03 20:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your expectations for yourself are unrealistic. First off, she moves in with you and then she sees that you are not a barnstormer and she moves in with a guy you work with. She is looking to be taken care of and that gets old real quick. I don't get the phrase "got crap for it when I was in the relationship." Are you saying she was nagging you? Then again, if you were going out "all the time" but not with her, what do you expect. I don't see a match there. You made your first mistake when she moved in with you without a strong commitment up front. You just don't do those things because they never work out. The fun quickly becomes drugery.
You are angry at yourself because you couldn't make yourself go further. Seems to me your hunches were right. Now you can't get comfortable going out in groups. What does that mean? Are you so needy and dependent that if someone nags at you and says you are a group failure, you take that as gospel? Move on and drop the past. It was a dead relationship when you got weak and let her move in on you. We don't do that. Others do it all the time and others are always moving in and out and not getting anyplace. Forget about it. And stop looking for evidence that you are a man, not a mouse. You would benefit from therapeutic counseling with an MSW or MFFC or clinical social worker.
2006-11-04 04:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn dude..."like Maverick when Goose died".
You need to work on yourself by rediscovering who you are without her. What makes you happy? What do you like to do in life? Develop your sense of self again and you will regain your confidence.
Damn young people, a person that is comfortable with himself is attractive and sexy. Realise this, love and respect yourself and the rest will come to you.
Buck up! Good luck!
2006-11-04 04:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by Bad Kitty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
take a chill. just listen to good music. and involve urself with hobbies or games. u will come out of it don worry its just a phase tht will pass away and u wont even know.
2006-11-04 04:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by miss_amal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I actually have the same problem....i like to hear more answers
2006-11-04 04:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by Teem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start working out. It will make you confident and boost your libido.
2006-11-04 04:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by sshazzam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋