What is your favorite joke?

Question

Here's mine
A penguin is driving down the street when his car quits. He calls the nearest town and has it towed.
The mechanic says "Let me look at it. Come back in an hour".
Penguin goes outside and sees an ice cream polor (penguins LOVE ice cream) so he waddles over and spends his hour eating as much as he can. FInally he goes back to the mechanic.
The mechanic says "It looks like you blew a seal"
Penguin says "No, that's just ice cream"

Answer 1

its ok..!! see here is one for u all..!!


A man was walking in the mountains just enjoying the scenery he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff. Full of fear, he assessed his situation.

He was about 100 feet down a shear cliff and about 900 feet from the floor of the canyon below. If he should slip again he'd plummet to his death. Full of fear, he cries out, "Help me!" But there was no answer. Again and again he cried out but to no avail.

Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there?"

A deep yet serene voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."

"Who is it?"

"It's God."

"Can you help me?"

"Yes, I can help."

"Please help me then!"

"Let yourself go."

Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"

"Let yourself go. I will catch you."

"Uh... Is there anybody else up there?"

Answer 2

This is my favourite joke.

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

This is my second favourite joke.

George W Bush, back when he was a "drinking man", walked into a bar.

He ordered five beers and drank them all down.

He then ordered four beers and proceeded to drink them as well.

With a confused look on his face, he stared down at the empty beer bottles in front of him.

He ordered another three beers and finished them of as before.

Now he looked really confused.

Looking around in bewilderment, he cautiously ordered another two.

The bartender, curious at the young George W's confusion asked him what was the matter, to which George W replied 'I don't know what's going on but, the less beers I drink, the more drunk I get'.

Answer 3

i like this ....
once a house fly fell into a bottle of beer and what will people of different countries do?
British man: he will throw the beer bottle in disgust and walk away...
American: he will take the fly out of the bottle and drink the beer..
Chinese: he will eat the fly and pour away the beer...
Indian: he will sell the beer to the American and the fly to chinese and with that money he will buy another bottle...
Pakistani: he will complain that the Indian put the fly into the bottle and Kashmir problem is the reason and he will claim arms from the chinese and finance from American and will buy another bottle

Answer 4

A guy is lying in his hospital bed, wired up with drips and monitors, breathing with the aid of an oxygen mask. A young lady comes round the ward with the tea and newspaper trolley. Approaching him she asks if there is anything she can do for him. The guy looks at her and asks "Are my testicles black?"

"I'm sorry but I'm not medical staff, I can't help you with that" she replies.

"Oh, please have a look for me, I'm really worried; Are my testicles black?"

Taking pity on his obvious distress the girl glances around the ward and, seeing there are no medical staff around, says "Alright, I'll have a look for you". She pulls back the bedcover, lifts his dick out of the way and, cupping his balls in her hand tells him, with a note of relief in her voice, "No, they look fine to me".

The patient pulls off his oxygen mask and says "I said, Are my test results back?"

Answer 5

Well superman was flying around one sunny afternoon and looks down and happens to see wonder woman sunbathing in the nude. Superman is thinking hmmmm.... I could go down and hit that so fast she would never know it was me..... So Bang Bang he hits and is gone. Wonder woman asks what the hell was that? The invisible man says I do not know but it got me in the booty!

Answer 6

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU SEE A SPACEMAN

PARK IN IT MAN

I love that one youris good to lmao

Answer 7

EWWWWE! THAT MAKES ME NOT WANT TO EAT ICE CREAM

Answer 8

Santa gunnies book of world record ke office check karne gaya ki wo abhi bhi sabse bada murkh hai yah nahi lekin chillata hua bahar aaya
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guess what.
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what will be?
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"Ye eddie9551 kaun hai"?

Answer 9

that is my favourite too now;) thanks for sharing;)