What the hell just happened?

Question

So we've been going through some pretty deep stuff. She is really out of touch with herself right now and it's been a real strain on both of us. It's too long a story for now. If you really want more details, go ahead and check out my questions. I may have a books worth of them. Anyways, she goes to lunch w/ her friends who proceed to tell her they are concerned as well. So, afterwards she comes over sobbing for several minutes. Finally she calms down, we're kinda cuddling in my bed. One thing leads to another and, well, yeah, it happened (but she instigated it). So, just sorta laying there, w/ an awkward silence, staring in each others eyes for a minute or two. I ask her what's on her mind, say she looks inquisitive. After a pause she says, "I think I need some time to re-find myself." What just happened? This girl has been physically and emo. drained for a while, but I've tried to be there. She is just too proud to ask for help or support. Was that a break up?

Answer 1

Yeah, it could be. I don't know. Sometimes the way women / ladies think just confuses the heck out of me, and their feelings,,,,well, I'd rather leave that one alone.

I'm not really sure what her issues are, but maybe it's a hormone thing. Mood swings can be real unpredictable, and if she's having trouble finding herself, well,,,that could be it.
Or maybe she's afraid of making any kind of commitment. Maybe she's not ready for that kind of responsibility. Could be too that she really is trying to find herself and having a serious relationship with you will cloud her thoughts and her feelings.

I'd say, give her room. Sometimes it's the best thing to do. Actually being away from each other opens the mind and heart to what you really want out of life, and relationships,,,and helps a person realize just how much someone really means to them.

If she comes to the conclusion that you aren't the person that she wants in her life, it's better to know it before you two make any kind of commitment to each other. There is, however, a limit to how long a person will wait for a partner to 'find themselves', so I might suggest to you to limit yourself now on just how long you're going to wait. Give her space,,,,and then after your time runs out you might want to have an open and honest discussion with her about your future together. If she decides she still needs to 'find herself' then you might consider 'finding someone else'. Your future, your needs, your wants, and your goals shouldn't be put on hold at the whim or will of someone else, even though you have a lot of feelings for her.
Hope that helps.

Answer 2

right here's an answer from somebody who relatively lives right here: Detroit has been situation to many hardships such because of the fact the systematic brutalization of blacks via police interior the Nineteen Forties via stress a job tension that have been an substantial area of the artwork tension in the time of a time of "marketplace" so we fell in the back of national averages. Then the excellent "white flight" of the Fifties observed many whites leaving because of the great numbers of blacks and varnish immigrants (polish human beings have been discriminated heavily interior the U.S. as quickly as upon a time) Then got here the destruction of a lot of downtown with the race riots of the Sixties. The 1970-80s observed the mismanagement of the city via new officers. It replaced into certain to take place while 80 5% of political places of work observed a turnover at as quickly as so relatively every person they could locate replaced into placed into capacity. That low bar exists immediately. The Nineteen Nineties observed the main suitable mismanagement via a Board of training that i've got ever heard of ensuing in academic inequalities to mirror the economic disaster set in action via the riots. interior right here decade, the great 3 had seen greater suitable days and required a bailout (no longer Ford) which extra impoverished communities. additionally, there replaced into an substantial flight from the city of persons who did bypass to college; a recommendations-drain happened this is resembling say docs fleeing some factors of India for greater suitable potentialities. on an analogous time as the activities of the 90s resulted in HS commencement rates of under 50% That being suggested, I nevertheless have faith in my city. there have been some substantial advancements, particularly downtown, and we proceed to be a culturally rich and traditionally substantial city. If a number of the different commenters (that have in all probability never been, yet could have seen 8 Mile) think of my city is administered-down or previous saving this is their business employer, i might in all probability say the comparable of their mom.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like she just needs to have a little space and time to sort things out, it doesn't mean that she is breaking it off with you. Ask her for a time frame and tell her you will honor her request as long as she honors her time frame and lets you know where you stand so that you are out there hanging by a string indefinitely.

Answer 4

I would say yes, I'm afraid. She wanted one last time with you before she broke up with you and her "refinding herself" is just an excuse.

I think that she might have found someone else she likes and she's been trying to decide between the two of you.

Answer 5

sometimes it is good to leave her alone, i mean she will know u are not ur usual self and that u are upset with the present situation. i'm too just now, for nothing my gal seems to be out of her mood. i treat her very nicely all along. i felt hurt and leep quiet, now her time to pacify me.

sometime gals are like this, they don't know how to appreciate until they feel something wrong.

Answer 6

sounds like you're feeling guilty for taking advantage of a situation.and she knows shes been taken advantage of.what you gave her was not what she needed and you should be ashamed of yourself for placing the blame on her and saying she started it.

but,on the other hand maybe you just wasn't no good!

Answer 7

Yes honey, I think that is what they call a break-up. Sounds to me as if you are trying too hard. Let it go but do not let her take advantage of you being a giving person. Unless you actually want her to take advantage of you.

Answer 8

If there's an option here, then why volunteer for so much drama?
Trade her in for a model that gives a smoother ride.

Answer 9

problem is people use sex like medicine, it doesn't work like aspirin it takes you further away from you healing.

Another one bites the dust, and you are asking what happened?
Dude and from the way you are talking it's not like you have feelings for her, she was just available-

Your question has no suitable answer.

Answer 10

She said she needs some space...........without you in it, at least thats what it sounds like to me.