Should I stay with my bf another few years and hope he wants to get married?

Question

I have been with my man for 5years and I'm in my early twenties and he is in his mid twenties. We have been together for five years and living together for three years. We have gotten through the worst of the worst and things seem to be okay now, but he keeps saying he's still not sure he wants to get married. I haven't said anything about getting married to him, but I would like to get married in a few more years or when the time is right (not rushing). Should I stay with him another few years and hope he wants to get married? I'm scared to be with him for another three years and have been with him for 8years and start all over again, b/c he still doesn't know what he wants to do. Should I try to get my life together and give him space?

Answer 1

This is a really hard situation in my opinion. I know it is difficult to be with someone who doesn't know what or when they want marriage after many years of dating. Well, I think you should try to talk to him and see why he isn't sure he wants to get married. Obviously if you are living together there is quite a high level of commitment, so hopefully after talking to him, you can try to weigh out your options again. People on this aren't going to be able to make your decision. It has to come from your heart, and it should be what you think is best for both of you. I wish you good luck in that whatever happens will be a blessing to you! :o)

Answer 2

I was in your same situation with the same question, do I stay or do I go. I had to consider whether getting married was that important to me. Do you leave someone you love b/c they don't want to get married and go find someone who wants to get married that you don't love???? It is all what is in your heart. I chose to put everything out on the table and tell mine that i didn't want to keep going if we didn't know where we were going. He was open and able to discuss some things and we came to a happy medium of yes, he wanted to get married, but not right now. That was 2 years ago and we became engaged in sept and getting married in May. May will be 9 years we've been together. I tell you it was worth the wait. We are both in our late 20's now and matured. Don't know if it would have worked to marry earlier. Talk to your man, if he loves you he will understand that it is important to you and tell you how he feels. And if he says he can't decide give him an ultimatum. I told mine I just needed to know it was possible. But if you put it out there, be ready to back it up!!!! Might as well discuss kids while your at it, to have or not to have.

Answer 3

So many couples end up just like this.

It isn't right.

Theres an old saying Why buy the cow when you get the milk free? It can hurt to think that . He has what he wants without commitment and like you said, time is marching on.

It is like a divorce if you break up and some men just can't handle it, yet they want to keep you in the same situation.

Go to a minister or a counselor together. If he won't, that says a lot. I know it might be embarassing, but he has to get sincere with his life And yours. I'm glad no children are involved.

Answer 4

You need to ask him straight up Do you ever want to get married? Tell him to tell you the truth. Most guys get comfortable in there situation and they don't want to change it or afraid something like marriage will ruin it. Also if he does want to get married then u have to remember when the time comes don't go over bored u may scare him out of it lol. Also Even though he know tell him show him some of the benefits of being married lower car insurance lower interest rates when u guys get cars houses less taxes payed.

Answer 5

this is a very good question.....i would have to tell you no,...i dont think you should persue this relationship... why?.. because no,.. you dont want to be with this man going on eight years and he still hasnt married you and you having to be the one saying to youself dam, after 8 years with this man,ive wasted 8 years of my life with this man for nothing.if your felling this way now about all this ...can you emagine 3 more years down the road how your gonna feel..? its best you come to terms with your feelings and this situation and act apon it now,.. dont wait till later....if you have been together this long and nothing has come of it(marriage,plans to get married) dont even exspect anything more in 3 more years. it will only be 3 years more of your life your wasting on a man.. who dont know what he wants.i have personally been through this delema myself so i know...what your going through and it is rough, but what i did was... i sat him down and talked to him and asked where are we going together in life...what is gonna come out of all the time we have shared?you have been together for 5 years i wouldnt call it rushing.(5 years is 5 years)...and also its also him wanting to do the right thing by you and respecting you as a women a person having goals in life (your not a toy) if your wants and needs arent the same then maybe you and your boyfriend arent on the same page with one another and by talking to him you will find this out..no other way (unless you know already ..by him saying he dont want to get married ) and you do..want to get married.yes, see? i hope this was of some help to you good luck and god bless.oh i just remembered this one it was told to me once ....there is an old saying..let me see if i get it right..(why buy a gallon of milk, if you got a cow in the back yard.)not meaning your a cow... but your boyfriend likes things the way they are and why go the extra mile for you.. meaning the extra as in marriage when he got you where he wants you..i hope all this made sense to you....good luck to you...

Answer 6

You should try and talk to him about what you are feeling. If he comes off as a jerk to what you say then maybe he isn't worth your time. Although since you have been with him for so long he should understand and if he loves you, he should want to make it official. If not though you need to decide if it is worth waiting for something every girls dreams of (which may not come) or try and find a guy that may make you happy. It depends on what is when your heart.

Answer 7

First you should tell him how you feel, if doesnt feel the same way then move on if the relationship is not going in the direction you want it to. It would be hard to split after 5 years but its better than wasting three more. And after you talk to him he may decide he doesnt wanna lose you. Good Luck.

Answer 8

this **** about not wanting to get married after people have been together for a while. graps my ***. you know if the man wanted to marry you, he would have done that 5 o rmore years ago. these guys want to still play the field and make you the scape goat. leave him. find some one who is willing to make a commitment. life is short. what's the matter you. i know it's not gonna be easy. after all this time with the jerk. you have to stay strong. don't waste your time on him.

Answer 9

1.i think guys stay in touch with their exes because they once liked them or still like them, it's better to be friends than to hate somebody 2.yes 3. no if a guy is madly in love he should not flirt with other girls 4.yea it's inappropriate he should only see you as a friend they had strong feelings with you and want to remain contact cause they think you're a great person and don't want to lose you

Answer 10

i have been with my kids dad for a long time more than 8 yrs and he doesnt want to get married i dont care if we do or dont have you talked to him about getting married or your future together men are clueless be up front with him about what you want and if he doesnt want that leave you will be just wasting your time