I went over to a friends apartment, mind you he's married with 3 kids and we're just friends, we talk and play chess together, there isn't anything going on, well when I was there my boyfriend called me, I told him where I was and who I was with but he still thinks that I was hiding something from him. And now he thinks that I did something wrong...how can I get him to believe that I didn't do anything but sit there and talk?
2006-11-03 16:57:57 · 9 answers · asked by Bee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Does he know this friend? Did he know about him from the beginning?
If you were totally honest and open about any friendships you may have with a guy then your bf shouldn't feel wronged in any way. You've got to understand that men don't view friendships/relationships like we do, most of the time they believe there are ulterior motives, more so if they have been cheated on before. The best thing for you to do is sit down with him and lay the ground rules, introduce him to all your friends and help him to understand that he is the "alpha" male.
2006-11-03 17:03:17 · answer #1 · answered by infinitedreams50 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you had this married friend ? Did your boyfriend not know about him for some reason ? Maybe that is why he was so upset. In all honesty l don't really think you should be over there playing chess or whatever if this guys wife is not home, it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. Perhaps your boyfriend feels the same way. Having said that your boyfriend for some reason has a trust problem and that is something l would be discussing with him at great lengths if you are going to keep seeing him. If he loves you he must learn to trust you, without trust in a relationship you will always have problems. Everyone should learn to love and trust, the world would certainly be a better place then. Good Luck with everything.
2006-11-04 01:15:51 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oddly enough I'm going through almost the exact situation...weird. It's rough but I've found that the best thing is to not act guilty - which means don't apologize if you don't feel like you've done anything wrong. I will admit that I wouldn't be comfortable if the tables were reversed so I'm not hanging out with my married friend anymore...but at the same time, nothing happened. Best thing would be to let your bf know that you're not going to hang out with that guy anymore and then don't ever talk about him again. Hopefully time will heal the trust issues.
2006-11-04 01:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same exact problem, my best friend is an old boyfriend of 10 years ago, and the guy I'm with now of 4 years new all this and was fine with it until he decided to get jealous and now he gives me the option of its either him or me. Well I'm not gonna dump my best friend of 10 years because he decides he wants to be jealous. And after awhile he just left the subject alone. I really don't know how to make them believe, because I'm still not sure if he believes me yet or not. Men are funny in that kind of way huh! a...h....'s Ha Ha So what I would tell him is he needs to make the choice he lives with it...(you having a guy friend) or lives with it...they don't get a second option. sunnydays
2006-11-04 01:06:53 · answer #4 · answered by sunnydays 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there are trust issues in your realtionship...maybe he has things to hide! Tell the truth and if he cannot accept that then don't worry about it! You can't live your life walking on egg shells....do what makes you happy and if he cannot trust you then have a talk with him. He does not own you so be yourself and let him deal with his trust issues. Have fun and live life...it is way too short to deal with silly crap like jealous boyfriends! Find a secure man and have a happy life!
2006-11-04 01:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by LenaRose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is unfair of him, you were completely honest with him and he is upset with you. Maybe you should let him know where you are going before you go there, so he doesn't have to ring you and find out that you are there and be surprised. Maybe that is why he thinks you were trying to hide somehting, he must really like you.
2006-11-04 01:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring him to play chess with you next time. Get your friend and his wife to vouch for you. That's not really fair to you if he's that insecure. Tell him that your friend's wife is cool with it.
2006-11-04 01:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by CrowsFeet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to come and watch. also say he can join in. DONT MENTION THE CHESS! it sounds like an invite for a threesome or for him to watch!
Then he gets to watch you play chess. and he'll be bored and be all like YOU SUCK haha
cheers
men are idiots at times :D
2006-11-04 01:01:25 · answer #8 · answered by tessie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even though you are just friends, you really shouldn't be at a married man's house unless his wife is your friend too. Still, it just isn't to be alone with this married man....friends or no friends.
2006-11-04 01:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋