I am currently in a relationship and at first, we were both hiding it from our parents. However, when I finally had the courage to tell mine (I don't like lying to or hiding things from my parents so yeah), they accepted it. My parents told me that they trust me to make the "right decisions" because I've proven to them that I am "trustworthy" with my high GPA and all. So I was extremely happy and that's when things turned on me. He then told me that his parents found out and doesn't want him to see/talk to me. You see, his parents are very traditional and our ethnicities are extremely different. His parents can not accept the fact that I'm not "their people" (word for word). Now he's stuck between his family and me. He's stressing over it ALOT and its making his health worse than it was before. It hurts me to see him trapped like this. What should I do? Should I end it? I consulted the people around me, they don't think I should, but I really don't want him to have to choose.
2006-11-03 16:35:55 · 7 answers · asked by .Cami.B. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some extra informationg for you: I am Chinese-American and he is Indian-American. We are both 17 years old. We are both attending the same school. We are (if you didn't realize) both seniors, a part of the class of '07. We're both in a major club on campus together. Almost everyone around us, my friends/family and his friends/family (except for his parents), completely support our relationship. We are enjoying our time together, but it feels weird now that I know his parents don't want me near their son.
2006-11-03 16:42:26 · update #1
Oh, and he thinks that we should continue the relationship without his parents knowing. So I'm debating on whether I should do what's right or be selfish and do what I want.
2006-11-03 16:46:18 · update #2
Go talk to his parents, just you and them, be honest with them, and found out what there problem is. Maybe they don't know you well enough, just what they heard about you. Go face to face with them, then you can make a decision from there. Good Luck, and if you love him, don't let him go!!!
2006-11-03 16:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by Speedbuggy43 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very stressful situation for both of you. I understand your problem because my boyfriend's mom hates me for no reason. She has even gone so far to say mean stuff to his 10 year old son and has turned the child against me. She talks bad about me and even uses bad language to me over the phone.
I am very proud that you told your parents. Nothing good can come out of being deceptive. Older perople seems to have race related issues especially when it comes to their children. It is unfare but hard to change other peoples opinions. I think you should continue to date him but understand that it will be difficult. He should stand up to his parents and let them know how wonderful you are. Break the racial barrier and teach them about your culture and learn about theirs.
When it gets rough with my boyfriend's mom I avoid her at all costs. You cannot change others, I understand that she is ignorant and very childish. I have seperated myself from that situation. It is very unhealthy to be mistreated for no reason. I have noticed the less we discuss his mother the better we get along. He is totally on her side because he has to love her, she is his mother. He cannot see that she is evil and vindictive. In my situation she is just a jealous and sad person so I do myself a favor and do not expose myself to that abuse. As for you I would try to hang in there and hope that they open their hearts and minds to your relationship. If they see that thier son is happy, healthy, and in love then they should learn to love and respect you as well.
Good luck and God Bless!
2006-11-04 00:49:13 · answer #2 · answered by LenaRose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds very unhealthy to both of you. if you both like each other stay together but remember if you are under 18 he still lives under his parents demands. talk to him and maybe you two can communicate in a more less obvious ways and perhaps his parents will ease off a little. hope you can solve your matter soon. good luck
2006-11-04 00:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by ana l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Indians are mostly like that, forget it they are never until their death are going to accept you. Talk to the guy if he wishes to accept you despite all this mess.
Anyways remember even he's married to you he'll have the obligation to serve his parents.
2006-11-04 01:27:28 · answer #4 · answered by Monk Mst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT A TOUCH ONE, HE SHOULD RESPECT HIS PARENTS
BUT IT BOTH OF YOU REALLY WANT THIS TO WORK THEN
HE HAD TO BE HONEST WITH THEM AND LET THEM KNOW
THAT HE REALLY CARE FOR YOU.. IT A SHAME THAT IN'
THIS DAY AGE THAT PEOPLE STILL HAVE THERE HANG UP
ABOUT THE CHILDREN WHO THEY DATE. BUT THE DECISION WILL HAVE TO BE HIS. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING
ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL,
2006-11-04 00:41:50 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE RELATIONSHIP IS BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU AND NOT WITH HIS FAMILY TALK TO HIM AND EXPLAIN YOU DO LOVE HIM.THEY WILL EVENTUALLY IN DUE TIME ACCEPT THE RELATIONSHIP NO MATTER OF THEIR BACKGROUND OR BELIEFS IF HE LOVES YOU HE WILL BACK YOU ALL THE WAY.BE NICE AND COURTEOUS TO THEM SO THEY HAVE NO COME BACK.
2006-11-04 00:42:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him first...
2006-11-04 00:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by a a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋