my BEST FRIEND got taken away?

Question

what should i do? her dad disowns her. but today he just came and picked her up, and took her 1/2 way across the country.

her mom is in the mental hospital, because she tried to kill her aunt. but she was living with her cousin, and then her dad just took her away.

she was my best friend.

i'm really really considering relapsing on si'ing. like. i cant stop thinking about it.

i miss my friend.

i want her back. i never got to say goodbye.


i cant call her. her phone is dead. and i dont know her dads number.

i dont think she has email anymore.

it's basiclaly like dealing with a death.

i want her back. i want to say goodbye.

Answer 1

It's sounds like she has a pretty rough life. Maybe it's a good thing her dad picked her up. I know you miss her but she knows where to find you. Maybe when things calm down little she will get in touch with you. Keep trying her e-mail address you might get lucky. I'm so sorry you are going through this pain, I wish I could just say the right thing to make it better but I can't. Just remember the bonds of friendship are not easily broken she'll think of you and get in touch with you. Just pray that she is in a better situation now. I know if you are her friend you ultimately want the best for her.

Don't forget to pray for her tonight I'll pray for you, best wishes Hun. : (

Don't cut yourself it won't take away the pain.

Answer 2

Find faith in something. Prayer offers comfort and answers in tough situatioins. If you are not a religious person. Try it out, it can't hurt. Give it a week or two. I am sure that she will find a way to contact you. Try looking online for addresses, telephone numbers emails etc.... for info on her dad. You might even try contacting the facility were her mom is to see what contact info they have for the family. You probably won't have any luck there, all the privacy laws. But it is worth a shot. Pray for her safety. Pray for peace with the situation. Pray that things will work out the way they are supposed too. You cannot control it no matter how much you want too. Try writing a letter and sending it to her former address. Give her all of the options you have for contact. The letter might get forwarded. You have to find peace with this. All things are not lost. I know what it is like to loose a best friend. I have experienced a lot of loss in my 37 years. It will get better. Do not do anything rash or stupid. A new day will dawn and it will get better. Think before you act. Good Luck and may God be with you, your friend and your family.

Answer 3

I'm sorry you're feeling hurt over your friend leaving. Hopefully, you'll be able to establish contact again soon.

Ask around in her family if her dad took her of her own free will, and/or if he had the support of the law in taking her. If her mother is in a situation where she can't be there for her daughter, it's pretty likely her dad, as her next of kin and the second parent, had a legal obligation or right to come and get her. The way he did it was no doubt hurtful, but the move itself maybe understandable.

What do you mean he "disowned" her? I know a lot of young people use that word to mean he didn't have a lot to do with her, which is a VERY loose usage of the term, but if he completely disowned her, that would mean that he signed over parental rights, never (and I mean never as in never, not never as in not much or not as often as he should have) would see her, and would not have been paying child support or upholding his legal responsibilities towards her. Having a bad relationship with her is definately not "disowning" her.

Also, as understandable as your pain is (and probably hers, at having to leave her friends, school, etc.), he is her father and he probably does have that right.

If you feel like he actually "kidnapped" her (had no legal rights to her, violated a restraining order, took her against her will and/or the will of her legal guardian(s)), you should talk to someone about it.

Keep trying to keep in touch with her. When you ask her family about the dad, ask if they know of a contact number for her, and explain that you miss her and at least want to tell her goodbye. Email her regularly, whether you think she has it or not. When you do, keep her in touch with you and the people/things she cared about by talking about them, rather than just saying, "Where are you? I'm worried about you. Why aren't you answering?" Make as much of an effort as you can (even if it seems totally one-sided) to keep her informed. If there is something wrong, having even a one-sided line of open communication to her former life can make a huge difference.

I know this hasn't been all that sympathetic, but I really do feel for you. But feeling bad that you lost your best friend isn't the same as thinking he's done something wrong.

I know this isn't helpful, but you know, hurting yourself isn't going to help matters in the least. It won't bring your friend back, and if she knew what you were wanting to do, I think she'd be really really upset at having "caused" it. Get help for yourself. Honor your friend's caring for you enough to not do something that would make her sad if she knew about it.

I should mention, if he picked her up only today, and she's being moved "1/2way across the country", that really isn't all that long at all, and maybe she'll be able to keep in touch once she gets settled. If they took a plane, she'd have to turn her phone off anyway. It's not 100% unreasonable to say that while in route to wherever they're going, it would be difficult to contact them, in good or bad situations. Maybe you'll hear from her tomorrow or later in the week.

Hope you feel better!

Answer 4

She will call you just as soon as she can. Don't forget she has your number and she misses you too. I am so sorry about your upset.

These things should not happen, but it is such a messed up world that all you can do is try to do the best you can.

Write her some letters and tell her everything you would have if you could have said good bye.

Also sort of keep a diary or journal on paper to send to her after you find out where she is. Be sure you do plenty of interesting stuff, so you will have interesting stuff to tell her.

It will be very good for you and for her if you stay busy and write down all your news.

Answer 5

There is cruelty in this world and you have just suffered it first hand. You don't say her age, which does have a bearing on this. First move is to contact any of her family, whether blood relatives or related by marriage whom you are aware of. If you have mutual friends, try asking them if they have any information regarding her whereabouts. If your friend is the age of adulthood, this could be a help. However, there is one other avenue you might consider. If you are seriously concerned for your friend's welfare and/or safety, may I suggest you contact firstly, her doctor and tell him/her of your concerns. There are professional ethics which govern how he/she responds to your enquiry, but if your friend is safe and the doctor is aware of it, you will be told, trust me. If that leads to a dead end, I would seriously consider addressing your concerns to police, provided you are completely sure there is something wrong with the way your friend was taken away by her father and you believe there may be a potential danger to her. The nature of that kind of enquiry is such that police will follow it up in the interests of the safety of a citizen. Try not to stress out too much. Quite often these things are solved with a few questions to the relevant authorities and it's quite possible you may soon be communicating with her. Take care and it needs to be said that you are a very nice person and a good friend to be this concerned over her welfare.

Answer 6

I'd just (note, i am 13, will tell you, (Note, i don't need nor want a phone, i am a oddball (this is good mentally) 1. Id just know what has happen and change. Opputinistic, then find it when they are away while acting good. . I lock it all the time. Yes, i shut it down. 2. They don't use the internet that much. 3. I think she should change.

Answer 7

My Dad did this too when I was a teenager.Took us to NY from Ga.She/he needed to do it at that time,probably was the only time away from his job,etc,or other curcumstances that had to be..Just do not take it personally ,and know that teen years are still years for your friend to need a parent,even if it means to be separated from her friends(you)..she will not forget your friendship.She is so lucky to have you,just remember that it is all God's plan.You will just have to be patient and think about how it all has to be for now.She really needs her parent,and she will be back.I am sorry for your hurt,it will get better.She may not be able to call you for now..I know,been there,only had pay phone and no money..just be very patient..you know you are a good friend,and she really won't ever,ever forget it!!

Answer 8

You're on the internet, communicating right now. Go further. Make a MySpace and a Yahoo 360. Blog. If you have a cellphone (does she know your #?), you can include her in your greeting. You'll find each other sooner or later. Meanwhile, pray. Talk to God like you talked to us. Listen. He loves her, too. He'll help you both.

Answer 9

I know its got to be heartbreaking for you right now. Give it a few days, maybe she'll be able to contact you after she gets settled. Sounds like her dad is finally stepping up and taking responsibility when she really needs a parent. Write her a letter while your waiting for her to contact you. Be a little patient, she'll give you a call or a letter. Hugs

Answer 10

I'm so sorry this happened. Would it help to think about the fact that she misses you too, and someday you can look each other up and begin a friendship again? This could be a rather temporary problem (I hope).