My parents house is cluttered almost to the level of danger. How do I convince them to clean house?

Question

They just hold on to everything! There are newspapers from months past, soda bottles, shoes, clothes, boxes, anything you can imagine just exploding from each room in the house! I have already tried cleaning their house myself, but I don't get anywhere. I do the dishes, clean the counters, etc. but they are just recluttered within a week! What are some ways I can help them or get some serious intervention for de-cluttering their home

Answer 1

Welcome to that special brand of crazy known as compulsive hoarding (CH). I won't list specific websites, as there are so many; just type "compulsive hoarding" into a search engine. Even Oprah has had a show about it.

CHs usually have a lot of peculiar and stubborn ideas about acquiring and hanging onto possessions, along with irrational overestimation of the value (sentimental, financial, utiltarian) of the things they own.

Most CHs don't give up their habit until they're dead or some crisis occurs (fire, public nuisance/condemnation proceedings, eviction). Even then, they are known to be very resistant to parting with a single thing. Were you to unilaterally remove belongings from their home, they would probably react with rage and they would not trust you in their home any longer.

Personal experience as a counselor suggests to me that if you confront your parents about this, you will only anger and alienate them. I know it's disgusting and distressing, and your concern is understandable. Nonetheless, there is little chance you will get them to change their ways. If they wanted to, they'd clean up, and you've probably nagged them enough about this.

It's likely that CH isn't the only way in which your parents are eccentric. You and they will be better served if you can find some ways for you to cope with them as they are. Intervene only in the case of clear danger. If your parents are infirm or are not taking care of themselves in other ways that truly jeopardize their health (rather than merely nauseating you), I suggest contacting your local Adult Protective Services office and speaking to somebody about your concerns.

If your parents don't mind you throwing things out, you could shovel them out perhaps once every three months or so. Keeping after their scattering and cluttering on a constant basis will surely annoy you and them.

You have my sympathy, but you aren't likely to fix this.

Answer 2

There are some reasons why some people leave their house like that way, maybe they are so busy the whole day with their jobs that when they come home instead of cleaning the house they sit down and rest until they sleep.maybe your parents are always rushing to leave the house in the morning and coming very late in the evening.their focus is not inside the house,and this is the reason why they are already used to it.You by yourself knows the exact reason because you can see them.Use different tactics,the next time you are going to clean their house, be sure that they are around and let them see you what are you doing.If they avoid you, tell them that sooner the cockroaches and the rats and the other insects are going to migrate in the place if you are not going to clean.Tell them you are afraid they might get sick,If they ignore you don't give up,continue working,you can even change the place, the furnitures' position replace the draperies,keep inside the store room those things they are not using,just leave out those they often use.throw away unuseful things around.make the house bright looking if possibly you can.It is a lot of sacrifice but you will see even if they won't talk their mind will be open,you just teach them silently.You'll see they will start cleaning their own the next time.

Answer 3

Is this my niece CAT?? Man...she's got the same thing. My sister is a pig and her home is her sty. We also grew up in a messy house, my dad was a pack rat and my mom was too and didnt clean. No one ever came over....My niece is living the same thing.

How old are you I wonder...how many more years do you have to live there, really? can you keep your own room clean? Because if you dont, you cant really complain about them, because they are two people being slobs all over the house...I understand about the trash part tho...

Its awful for my niece-Cat cleans and tries to pick up, but the two adults in the family are total slobs (worse than me and my sister ever grew up with) They wont change...no matter what. My sister acutally has her *guests* help her clean! She's like a queen on a throne, its ridiculous, she'll say, "oh I just got back from ____ so the house is a mess..." and when you look around, there's boxes, piles of cr@p, filthy dog hair all over the floor among trash and just intense groseness-aint nothing that went on a trip. My husband wont go there anymore because it smells so much. It smells like @ss and cat box-and I dont even think they have a cat. For real.

...they need Dr. Phil or Oprah...or even some local news team, send em a letter about how freaking nasty they are and maybe they'll do an expose. If not, it'll make em realize they are gross. Or not!!!

Good luck-I know what you are going thru...

Answer 4

All the suggestions for you to go in and explain why they need to clean their house are really pointless. Does anyone in the modern world really not understand that living in filth is unhealthy? Setting up organizational structure is pretty pointless for people who lack the ability to simply discard waste on a daily basis. These people have a mental disorder as noted on earlier posts. Compulsive hoarding is not curable by talking about how nice it would be to live in a clean house, buying rubbermaid containers, installing shelving units, etc. Even going into a home and throwing out everything that isn't needed won't make a change--hoarders will simply find more and reclutter within a short time. Often if an outsider tries to intervene, it will result in a hoarder exhibiting extreme rage and cutting off contact with others to avoid having to discard anything.
When it becomes a fire or health hazard, reporting them to the authorities might be the only way to force them to face their hoarding.
Good luck.

Answer 5

This is a habit they've had for years, and there is no way they are going to change at this point in life. (My mother is the same way!)

The best thing to do is either throw stuff away yourself, or hire someone.

I made a deal with my mother that I would come over every Sunday afternoon for 4 hours. The first thing we do is make sure the house is clean, and secondly we can do what she wants. (Sit and talk, go out, whatever.)

After a while, I noticed that the house was a little cleaning each Sunday when I first came over because my mom was more time with me.

It's a little devious, but it worked!

Answer 6

Why don't you contact Dr Phil or Oprah. They might pay for them to get some help. Maybe they just need some counselling to get into the right frame of mind.

Or you could have a baby!! That worked for me. My mums house has never been so clean because she wants me to bring my little girl over all the time and she knows I wont let her play in a cluttered house. Ha ha ha

Answer 7

If it is to the danger level, you could call the fire inspector, they could go in, and tell them its time to clean it up or be fined. A friend of mine was such a packrat that she never threw anything away, and I mean nothing, the fire inspector went in and actually condemned her house, they had to move out and clear the clutter and be reinspected before she could move back in, it is a serious move, but with her it worked.

Answer 8

Bless your heart! You must be at your wit's end. But all you can do is live with it until you are able to get out. People like that do not ever change, sorry to say.

You could tell them they are going to be on one of those TV shows. You could even take videos and send it to one of those shows like "MISSION ORGANIZATION" maybe they would take it on! I sure do feel sorry for you.
I wish there was a solution, but anybody I ever saw that was like that went their entire life just getting worse and worse. So Sorry!

Answer 9

Maybe give them ideas on how to do it and offer to help start to clean things out with them, get them doing it themselves. Help them to find an organizing system and help them to get in the habit. Share with them the many benefits of having a clean house. A clean house helps people to want to get things done, makes them want to invite more people over, makes you in a better mood and makes you want to keep your house clean.

Answer 10

Call the health department before its too late. You don't want to be in the position of having one of them get hurt or sick and you feeling bad because you didn't take decisive action