How do I tell my 13 year old sister to STOP HAVING SEX????

Question

I have 4 sisters. 23, 21,19, &13, & Im 17. Well ALL of my older sisters have gotten pregnant by the time they graduated. I love my nieces & nephews but I will be DAMNED if I end up like my sisters. Ok I know Im not perfect...I have had sex but Im so freakin precautious is not even funny. Well one day I got off work early & my little sis Arianna had been asking me to drive her over to her friend's house. Well when I got home I saw some boy leaving out the back door & I asked Arianna if she knew him & she said no...so I let it slide...well me & my boyfriend went to my house one day & he wanted to watch a movie...it was in my sis's room...so I went to her room to get it, & what did I see? That boy who was runnin out the house & some other boy fu*kin my little sister? I was freakin out so I got out the house quick w/o tellin my bf why me & him had to go...I dont know what to say to her, she doesnt know that I saw her...right now I dont care about that shes 13 I just want her to keep her

rep intact...b/c we are sometimes called the "cute freaks" b/c of my older sisters. I dont want to sound like a hypocrate b/c im not a virgin, but then again I did have sex until I was almost 17. How do I get it across to her that she needs to not be so fast b/c all I see is another sister that is gonna be asking me to babysit?

(oops typo!!!) I DIDNT have sex until I was almost 17

Answer 1

Well it sounds like each sister looked up to the other and maybe should not have when it came to this. You have your head on right which is what is most important but your concern for your sister who is way to young to be doing this - and did you say two guys were doing this with her??

Obviously she does not respect herself or her body. She is way too young to even understand the body sexually, what it means and does, how it feels, precautions to takethat sleeping around causes people to talk crap about you and think poorly of you, that waiting for someone you love to share that with is the most important thing.

You know you are careful so you are not a hypocrite. You are also not 13. Where are your parents? Someone has to start keeping an eye on her and not letting her have boys in the house. She needs some rules and restrictions.. it sounds like she just runs around and does whatever she wants - where are the parents here? As her sister though, you can start to create some rules she should follow - and keep your eye on her. Don't let boys in the house. Not only does she not respect herself but not even the house she lives in. She is way out of her league and can get all types of diseases too - not just a baby. You have to tell her this - that STDs and HIV can be transmitted even when a condom is used, that pregnancy can occur even with a condom.

Maybe she wants attention and takes anything - even negative attention rather than none. I feel bad for her though and your family that no one watched over you all enough to teach you right and wrong. It sounds like you got it so how did you learn that but no one else did?

She has to respect herself or no one EVER will. Men respect women that are picky about who they share themselves with - not ones who sleep around and treat their body like it is worth nothing. Make her understand how precious this is and how sexy not having sex and waiting can be - how much better it is when you love someone - talk to her very openly. She is not having it because of the way it feels - she has no clue.. she is doing it to feel attractive, get attention and feel better about herself. Try to help her boost her self esteem and spend time with her - hold her hand nad show her the way.

Most important, teach her about how to be safe - about condoms, birth control pill.. everything - go to a Planned Parenthood (they have a website) in your area and have a counselor there talk to her. She should know having a kid that young is not going to be good - it can end her life essentially - any other dreams she has... anything - watch her, talk to her, show her the way.

Answer 2

Tell her what you just told us. Don't yell at her and don't sound like your mom. Come to her as a friend and a big sister. Tell her how you feel and give her some options. Educate her on ST D's, using protection correctly, having her own protection, maybe getting some type of birth control if your parents will allow it. Just be honest with her. I am 23 and have 2 younger sister and 2 younger brothers 18, 17, 16 and 13 and I gave them the same speech individually in 4 different ways. Each one is very different. But all you can do is educate her, let her know what's real in the world today. And to help with the boys in the house use the nephews and nieces as birth control for her. Let her be the baby sitter.

Answer 3

Alex: There is a saying that goes like this. The younger one will follow in the footsteps of the next oldest one. You have to live it to give it (advice). There isn't much to say to you on this issue. She has tasted the fruit of the tree of "knowledge" and likes it. now; you will have to stand by and watch her make her mistakes and learn from them. And ... for you ... do you realize that the lives of your older sisters would be more fulfilling had they not went banging around ? You should know better because you can see the consequences in the lives of your sisters. Sex is just that ... sex ! Love is ...love. Don't misconstrue the two. What kind of guy do you want to marry ??? One that loves you for you or your body only ? I'm a male and know how guys think !
Why don't you focus on getting a good education and becoming a resulting professional ? Make this world a better place to live in ! Maybe ... who knows ... your 13 year old sister will catch the drift and follow your lead !!! Good Luck To you !!!

Answer 4

Well there is no easy way to say this but man obvisly she don't have perfect role models to look up too. I mean a girl role model. Okay so you are saying that all your older sisters don't regret getting pregnant because if they don't then either is your little sister, who is by the way to young to be having sex. You should take her to a sex ed class something that is going to tell her about having kids getting a transmitted disease that is not curealbe. Something that is going to scare her. I am sure you can even take her to a family doctor that will knock some kind of sense into her. Tell her that you are going even and make her go with. Then she will never find out that you caught her. Also if any of your older sister regret getting pregnant then maybe they should also talk to her. Good Luck

Answer 5

Your family certainly has a track record which doesn't help your little sister. She figures they did it why can't she do it. Taking on two guys isn't cause she cares about the guy. Getting help from your parents does not seem helpful as shown with all the other sisters. Your problem is more than you at 17 can handle. This needs someone with more knowledge to help her understand what she is doing and where she is going to land up. I know you may find it difficult to share this with someone who could help but if you do care and love her I don't see where you have many choices. If you do nothing you will blame yourself for what ever happens to her. If she is actively having sex with multiple guys at 13 what is next? Drugs, Alcohol, Pregnancy, and if it came to term society would just take the baby from her anyways at 13.
Try to look out for her best interest even if at the beginning she hates you, later she will be glad and thank you for saving her life.

Answer 6

Running and not saying anything to her will not solve this major problem. At 13 your sister is in no way emotionally ready need I say more on the financially ready either to engage in sex. I know some young girls feel that this is how a boy shows he cares but I have news for you it is not. If the boy and your sister are not emotionally ready to face the responsibilities that come with having sex and possible children they should not be having sex. Emotional maturity comes with time and experience. She is 13. Sit down with her take a book out of the library and talk to her about sex. You already know the results of your older siblings lives and having children. Talk to her about self respect and talk to her with love and understanding. Let her know it is ok to say no no matter how the guy reacts. After all is he prepared to raise a child I don't think so.

Answer 7

This is a hard one because he is too young to be having sex, and to young to fully understand why that is.

If you sister is the kind of girl that wants to have a husband and a family with a great guy, then you could tell her how most guys don't, and def the one's worth having, don't like it when a girl has been with a lot of men, or in some case even any.

If she realized how her actions may have a huge impact on the rest of her life, and may result in the loss of her dreams, then that might be helpful.

I know that this answer is more of a concept for someone older, but I really cannot think of another approach.

I hope that this helps. Good luck.

Answer 8

Parents here who are irresponsibly encouraging protection forget that only abstinence is 100% effective. If you encourage an "If you can't beat them, join them" philosophy it will only make it worse. Neither birth control or condoms will protect you from genital warts, a long term cause of cervical cancer.
You, yourself need to stop doing it. It gives a bad influence and the "it won't happen to me" are often famous last words. If your parents are not able to do anything about it then you need to keep an eye on her. As her sister, her family, it is your responsibility to look out for her and keep her from harm. The last time I knew in some states, 13 is young enough to be called rape.

Answer 9

ok look im 16 year old all u have to do is tell ur lil sister to stop doing that if she does not lisen then u have to sit her down and say this to her be like baby sister u know that ilove and u know that i care for u but u need to know that if u have sex that can mess u up in all kinds of ways it can give u aids explain what that is and say that if u dont stop when u grow up you are gonna have a bad life because i know some one like that and tell what u think of all that stuff ok and i just want to ask u 1 thing do u know the movie spirit if u have it can u please let me get it for ffree i realy like that movie ight you can talk to me if u need anything else ok by

Answer 10

Where are your parents when this is happening? I can understand your concern for your little sister, but children learn from examples...not lectures. Sounds like you're doing your best to set a good example for her even tho your sisters didn't...but still this little lady needs parental guidance...or a grandmother or aunt who can step in to advise. Since she's already taking on 2 guys at once at the age of 13...I would say her "rep being intact" is not the main concern