I have been dating a guy for awhile. He is talking about the possibility of marriage. I care about him deeply and know he is a wonderful person, yet do not feel that he is THE ONE. However, I know that he would always treat me well and is financially very secure. Do you think I would be missing a great opportunity to be with a great guy while waiting for a Mr Perfect to make me fall head over heels (who may not even exist)?
2006-11-03 14:23:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We are both 26. Don't get me wrong - I do love him. But not with the passion that I thought I would feel for the man I married...
2006-11-03 14:28:23 · update #1
Here is a story.
There was a big flood and the man had to climb on to his roof. A boat came by and offered him a ride. The man said "No, god will help me." The boat drove away. Not to long another boat came, and the water had rose more. The other boat offered a ride. The man said, "No, God will help me." Then the water rose even more and the man had to stand on the top of his chiminy. That's when a helicopter came. It offered to save him. But the man said,"No,God will help me" and the helicopter left. Soon the water rose and went over the mans head and he died. In heaven the man asked God why he didn't help him. And god said. "I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter. What more do you want?"
The moral of the story is, don't hold out for something that may not exist.
2006-11-03 14:39:11 · answer #1 · answered by Some Girl from College 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of marriages fall apart because they are solely on love. But love is not just "butterflies in your stomach". It's swallowing your pride and apologizing when you know you are wrong. Enjoy watching him sleep at night when you can't. Handing over the remote control so he can watch Monday Night Football instead of watching Gone with the Wind.
Loveless marriages can work; but like a marriage with love it takes a lot of hard work. Sometimes love grows as a relation developes.
Am I saying you SHOULD marry him? Absolutely not! If you don't want to marry him then you shouldn't.
2006-11-03 22:40:03 · answer #2 · answered by travis_a_duncan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he your best friend? Do you have anything in common with this guy? Do you like to be around him? You say you care about him deeply but you are still not satisfied with him? I say keep looking. Don't let the financial part of his attractiveness speak too loudly. Better to be married to your best friend and live modestly than to be married to a financially secure man who you don't really love. When you are in love you will know it...you won't have to ask.
2006-11-03 22:30:46 · answer #3 · answered by butterflylover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What about him makes you feel that he is not the one? Is it something that he does or just a feeling that you can't quite explain?
My advise to you would be to take a step back and see how you would feel without him. If you discover that your feelings are stronger than you had thought, then maybe he IS the one.
Or maybe go on a date with someone else (probably best not to tell him) and based upon what you feel/don't feel with the date, you can compare it to what you currently have.
You never really know what you have until its gone. So really put a lot of thought into it.
Hope this helped.
2006-11-03 22:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by StillBelieve143 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long is awhile,,,, the best thing you can do is marry a best friend,,,,,, if you get along good he treats you well you care for him he cares for you it will only get stronger and better,,,, I have had crushes that were intense but once that passes what you need a foundation of mutual trust and communication,,,,, head over heels only happens in the movies,,,,,, or when your 16
2006-11-03 22:34:06 · answer #5 · answered by S h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mr perfect, the knight in shining armour does not exist, if u have found a wonderful man, who u care about deeply,and he can make u secure financially, that's alot to be said that is good about him. sometimes we can be swept off out feet and love someone so much, and it doesn't make him right for us. i think kindness, financial security,and someone who loves us and respects us is alot to hope for in any relationship.u may wait forever for mr perfect, and loose the opportunity to have someone good, i would not let this one get away.
2006-11-03 22:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mr Perfect is a fantasy. Just because this guy treats you well, do not marry him for the sake of marrying because you would not be happy. Perhaps the right one will come along in time so in that case, you will need to be patient.
2006-11-03 22:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with a previous post stating that it would not be fair to either of you to marry this guy just for the security of it. A succesful marriage needs a whole lot more than that to survive.
If he is not the "One" then dont do this to either of you. There is a Mr (or Ms) Right for each of us. They are usually not perfect but it would be very sad to meet them and be commited to someone else wouldnt it?
2006-11-03 22:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider it if he was a good kind hard working and loving person. I think people have an imagination of who "THE ONE" will be. This imagination will ultimately block out great if not better possibilities. Choose to live, not to wait...because you may wait wait and wait until you are old grey and alone.
Passion? I'm not sure, but I don't think that one has to be out of their mind and dizzy with love tor really be in love with the person.
2006-11-03 22:29:12 · answer #9 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think marriage starts with a great romance. Everything else I can get from my close friends. They treat me well and are very unselfish financially, but I'm not going to marry them either. I'm looking for the whole package, i.e. sexual chemistry with true friendship. Maybe I'm too ideal, but I don't think so.
2006-11-03 22:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by archer005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋