What am I going to do with my 2 year old daughter?

Question

My daughter is useally a really well behaved nice sweetheart but lately she has been driving me crazy because when she gets mad she not only hits me but kicks me, bites, pinches, and squeezes me. The never has been or never will be violence in my home. I do not understand her behavior. I tried talking to her but really she doesn't want me talking to her. I have tried, in a stern voice, saying "no" while clasping her hands. I try to put her in time out but while taking her there she basically beats me up. What should I do to discipline this behavior?

Answer 1

Two years old is an interesting and sometimes difficult age. She is really starting to blossom at this point and part of that is finding her limits. At the same time she is probably quite limited in terms of how she can express herself.

The most important thing to do when she acts out is to be consistent so she knows the limits. Be firm just as you have and while you are holding her arms & legs (you can sort or straddle or squat on her if you have to), get face to face with her and in a very calm but clear voice tell her using her name, "This is not ok. You do not hit. It hurts my feelings and makes me sad. This is not ok." When she calms down you should hug and tell her you love her. If she is still acting up you may need to put her in time out for 2 minutes (1 min/age-year) and time out starts when she is calm.

Usually kids act out because they are frustrated about something. So try to make sure you spend a bit more time with her on her level or playing. She may be trying to communicate something that she cannot yet put into words. Talk with her often and encourage her to use her words.

Answer 2

I have a child in this phase also. Came to me as a big surprise because she is the youngest of three and the other two have never been so agressive. I tried everything when she started biting. Even disipline that made me feel uncomfortable at times, but nothing seemed to help. When she was two she had bit her three year old brother a couple of times on his face and I had to pry her off of him. I found that she was having a hard time because she couldn't communicate as well as her older sibling or the adults in the house and when she wanted something she would become very frustrated. A child that young can't always communicate his/her needs. What worked best was for me to step in before a situation escalated. If she was having a hard time trying to do something I would help her. Also, don't let her get over tired. She may just need a nap. It is also important to teach her that this behavior is not OK. Try showing her that it hurts you. Pretend to cry and show her your boo boo. If that doesn't work go to time outs. Then you might have to work your way up to spankings. Don't feel bad. It is just a phase and some of it can probably be avoided by not over stimulating her.

Answer 3

I believe as you do that there is almost no cause for violence in a home including using physical discipline on my children. I don't want them to think that violence is the way to solve problems. But I do think that there are some seriously bad behaviors that warrant a consequence as severe as a swat or such. If you only use swatting or spanking for the real serious stuff it makes a way bigger impact. there is only a few things I can think of that warrant a spanking: hurting another living thing, and being physically violent to you parents needs to be nipped in the bud immediately, otherwise this is only the beginning of the disrespect you will have to endure. You need to do to your child what she is doing to you. When she bites you she is doing it because she knows this is the way to get a reaction from you, if your immediate reaction is to bite her back just as hard or a little bit harder, how long do you think she is going to do something that ends up hurting her? When she hits or kicks you, you immediately put her down and give her a good hard swat on the leg. Don't threaten to do it, if you say it be ready to do it and don't wait to do it. Its like a hot pot or iron, if she touched a hot pot and it immediate got burned how long do you think it would take her to respect that that pot is hot and not to touch it. YOU BE THE HOT POT!!!!!!

Answer 4

Kids are never easy all the time and I have never read the perfect book on being a great responsible parent. I'm sure your at your wits end sometimes. I have a 2 1/2 year old grand son( I'm not old) but when he acts out I try to change the subject/distract him with something more interesting-a storybook, items around the house, singing a song etc. Sometimes I just have to ignore him and let him be upset. It usually only last about 5 minutes at the most and he becomes his sweet lovable self again.

Answer 5

okay well first you dont want to do anything that she wont regret because she will get mad and if your like me i hate it when littler kids get mad at me. Well first when she hits or pinches you i would grab her hands and say no ! very stern, if she still does it ask her if she wants to go to the time out spot. If you were me i would make the time out spot in a high chair possibly were she couldent get out. If she still does it take her to the time out spot and let her set for about 5 minutes, But remember to tell her why she is there. If it gets worse then maybe try a not hard but a little spanking on the tail, then set her in time-out agian, If she has siblings then simply reward them for being good and tell her that she will get a award when she starts acting better. Its perfectly normal at 2. She is going through a stage. All most all kids do it.

Answer 6

She is probably frustrated and not able to get the words out. You should encourage her to use words to tell you what is wrong. When she is hitting her i would restrain her so she can't hit you and place her in a chair for time out if she gets up put her back. When she is calm then talk to her and help her to tell you what she wants. Only give her what she wants if she uses her words and do not reward the fit throwing behavior by giving in to her. I would just repeat no we don't hit no. Keep it simple and use the word no until she learns the meaning of the word.

Answer 7

Ah welcome to the "Terrible Twos".

This is a well known stage that most children go through. They do grow out of it eventually but in the mean time you should not interact with her when she is being so badly behaved. Unfortunately talking will not have any effect. Take away privileges like her favourite toys and explain why and what she has to do to get them back. I heard of one mother who would lock herself in her bedroom until the tantrum was over. This method worked as the child couldn't figure out why they could not get to their mother.

Remember you are not alone in this experience and if you google "Terrible Twos" you find many stories.

Answer 8

Just think about your child 5yrs from now doing the same thing! Now think about 10 yrs!! Are you going to allow a twelve yr old to do the same?? If you don't get this under control now that is exactly what you are going to have to deal with! There is nothing wrong with spanking! I have 5 kids and I spank them!! Make sure you read that right! ( I said spank not beat!) My husband came out of a family with 12 kids(which all were spanked) and she doesn't have one in jail, or in trouble! They DEFINITELY respect their mother!! Just get it in control now, because it will be a lot easier now than later!

Answer 9

She is seeing violence somewhere.Maybe another child(sibling,cousin,friend or a kid at daycare) has done this to her out of anger.So when shes angry she will do it now.Ignore thoses who says hit her.My 23 month old went through what your daughter is going through.He has 5 brothers so he`s seen it all.He bit me three times.I showed him the teeth marks he left on me and told him he was mean to me.When he would want to hit or kick I would say his name in a stern voice and tell him if he hits or kicks I will not take him outside to play nor will I play hott wheels with him.Saying their name in a stern voice gets their attention better then yelling.There was a few times that he hit me anyways and then went and got his hott wheels and said mommy play cars.I would say no you hit me so Im not playing then I would walk away from him crying.Yeah it broke my heart but he no longer bites,kicks or hits me.Oh to the parents who spanks,hits their kids,I managed to teach him not to misbehave without physical or emotional pain.He`s also got toliet trained without laying a hand on him.Took a little over 2 weeks.Go on and start giving me thumbs down you kiddie hitters.The best part is he behaves not because he fears me hurting him but because he was taught right from wrong.Big difference there.

Answer 10

If your daughter goes to a daycare she may very well have learned to be aggressive from another child that is not as well behaved, my son shows aggression sometimes when he doesn't get his way and he learned it from his 4 year old cousin whom is very undisciplined, I would suggest consistantly correcting the behavior with time out and simple explanations as to why it is bad and that it is not allowed.