How do you console your husband when...?

Question

How do you console your husband when his dad has been diagnosed with cancer? Call it blessed. Call it lucky, but I have been extremely fortunate with only one person in my my close family having a severe illness. So, I don't know quite what to say, what to do or anything to my husband while he deals with this. Help!

Answer 1

Tell him you'll be there for him, whatever he needs.. and that you love him and his dad and you want to help.

I also found hunting on the internet for information, treatments, symptoms anything and everything i could read and relate on the subject was very helpful. Knowledge is power, the more you know the better you understand and can deal with it. The most common reaction to a disease is fear. If you take control, learn what you are up against... it doesnt seem that scary anymore.
If you know your enemy, you can prepare your course of battle.

Modern technology and advancing science is on our side. Be positive, and be prepared to hug and hold if need be.. lots and lots of talking, crying.. and loving.

Best of luck to your father in law, and your family.

Answer 2

I have had the misfortune of having family members diagnosed with serious diseases. What I can tell you is that they will come to you if and when they are ready. All you can do is be supportive but not in an overbearing way. Do the things you have always done and try not to add on any excess stress such as petty arguments. Also stay away from asking the OK question..."are you ok?(which I am sure you arleady know) For me the biggest help was the silent support...usually people just want to be alone in dealing with such things. They don't want to hear anybody elses problems and sometimes they just need to feel the pain of the situation in order to find a way to cope with it.
Say what you feel, you are sorry this happened and you are there whenever he needs you to talk or whatever. There is no right thing to say...and for him there will be no right way to react to you or the situation at hand.

I hope everything is ok for you...good luck

Answer 3

Ms Alicia;
Since everyone deals with these matters differently alls you can really do is be there for him, listen and he may not want to hear it if his father has no choices but, his father will be better of in the end as the suffering will be over. Not much comfort but, it is a fact. Yes, you have been lucky but, the cycle of life effects us all at some point.
Good Luck & Best Wishes.

Answer 4

You don't have an option to IM or email you, and I hate to respond to you on this question, but I thought you should know that it's not the teacher's decision to pass students on. Principals have the luxury of making that decision. My husband is taking masters classes for administration and has read the real reason principals don't retain students- studies show that it's an ineffective tactic. Too bad principals never tell us teachers that when they pass our students on. :(

As for your husband dealing with this really crappy situation, I can tell you through watching both of my parents deal with THEIR parents being diagnosed that just being there is often enough. My father was there to hold my mom when her mom passed away, and my mother was there to share the great news with everyone that my dad's dad was doing well after chemo. You may find it helpful to your husband to be the spokesperson for any questions people may have regarding your husband's dad and his health. It takes that burden off your husband and gives him time to himself and to his family. Best wishes for your father-in-law's recovery.

Answer 5

There is really nothing you can do except listen and let him vent. Let him know that any feelings he have are OK, and that he can share them with you. It sucks watching your parent die. Just give him some extra love and even a little space every now and then. He will need you now more that ever. It is not going to be easily for you. But when you married him it was for better or worse, this is one of the worse situations. God be with you.

Answer 6

Tell him how much you love him, and you would care and be there for him no matter what... You can't do anything much actually.. Tell him that you wanna cherish the time you are spending together with him, so if he needs someone to talk to, you will be very happy to be the listener. Think he will appreciate that.
Humans die someday.. in a way or another, that is a circle of life..

Answer 7

The best thing you can do is just be there for him. There really isn't anything else you can do, being there for someone is doing heaps more than you think it is.

I was there for my grandmother, and sometimes taking her out to lunch worked, or telling her funny stories the kids have been doing works, and sometimes just listening while she needed to talk worked....he will tell you what he needs.

Just be honest and tell him that you want to be there, but don't know what to do, so could he please tell you....

Answer 8

Not much you can do or say in this case, I hope the cancer is not terminal, The best thing for you to do is be emotionally available for him and be there when he wants to talk about it.

Answer 9

There are no magic words so don't feel pressure about that. Just be there to listen & support him. Do what you can to help his dad feel comfortable. That will be more than enough.

Answer 10

let him know its not a death sentence and dont sugar coat it either, he is a adult and although you need to be sensitve you have to be honest. Tell him to make sure he does what he feels he needs to with his father just incase. It wont hurt to spend more time with him.