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after 10 yrs my son in law apologized for being rude to my husband and us and keeping daughter from befriending us her parents,
now he realizes how wrong that was
how are we suppose to react and answer him they live in another state
thank you

2006-11-03 13:43:19 · 25 answers · asked by N M 1 in Family & Relationships Family

25 answers

go visit them

2006-11-03 13:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by lize 4 · 0 0

How did he apologize? In a letter, phone or E-mail? Did he explain his reasons for keeping your daughter from having contact with you? And about your daughter, this is the USA. We have this thing here called free will, and unless she was threatened not to contact you all, then why didn't she tell him to take a hike? Or at least get a cell phone, or sneak off the the grocery store to contact you guys? The important thing here, I guess, is that he apologized and admitted he was wrong. Better later then never. So invite them over for Thanksgiving, and try to start a new. !0 years is a long time! But getting an explanation would be well deserved at the very least. Sound like a control freak if you ask me.....

2006-11-03 13:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by frigidx 4 · 0 0

I for one understand exactly what you are going through but it was my daughter-in-law who has hurt all of us for so many years and once she came around to realiziing all the hurt she had caused and aplogized to all of us the only thing we could do was to accept her apology and to start all over again.
It's far better to forgive and to try to forget then to carry the pain from day to day.
Forgiveness is far easier than to forgetting but trying to mend the way is far better then to live the way it has been by not seeing my son and his wife for so many years and life only lasts such a short time as it is.
Your son-in-law finally grew up and now it's your turn to show who the loving ones really are by accepting his apology and that way you get your loving family back which is what you want and deserve too.
You are good parents or he wouldn't have apologized after all these years.
I commend you for your not giving up and allowing him in your family after all the hurt he has caused you and your husband too and his own wife too.
Best of luck to all of you.

2006-11-03 13:54:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

The easy answer from an outsider that is not feeling your pain: Accept the apology and don't miss another minute of your daughter's life.

Hard to do, easy for me to say. Is his apology sincere? How does your daughter feel about having you back in her life? Just follow your heart.

2006-11-03 13:49:43 · answer #4 · answered by Karen T 3 · 0 0

Tell him you accept and appreciate his apology, but will understandably be leary until you can see that he means it. A sincere apology is a big step, so that's a start. Start building a relationship with your daughter and in the process, TRY not to say anything negative to her about him. If he doesn't interfere, over time...things will get better.

2006-11-03 13:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0 0

Well first of all it' a big step in itself that he has done so ...the olive branch has been extended...so do you want to see a change in this relationship that goes way beyond the three of you.
To see real sincere change you must continue to work at it...and of course talk about it, you may ask how did we contribute to his attitudes etc. Is he a normal person, if so than there are contributing factors that include you and husband and daughter...how did she contribute as well...

2006-11-03 13:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by Shannon Day 1 · 0 0

Tell him that he is forgiven and that you are looking forward to getting to know him better and being a real extended family.

I would find it hard to forgive him, but maybe he really has changed and is sincere. You don't have anything to lose.

Talk to your daughter too and let her know that you do not want to lose contact with her. Make sure she knows how you feel about her and that you do not want to be estranged from her and her husband.

Good luck. You must have been miserable all of these years.

2006-11-03 13:47:14 · answer #7 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0 0

Tell him that you accept his apology, and you look forward to having the opportunity to be a part of their lives from now on. Only if you can do so with an open mind, and truly mean it.

Otherwise, you need to tell him that you appreciate his honesty and that he's made such an effort...you know it couldn't have been easy for him. You hope that your relationship with them has the chance to grow, and you'd like to take it slowly so you all learn the boundaries.

2006-11-03 13:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1 0

My family was actually in a similar situation. My brother-in-law took my sister out of the state, and we hardly heard from her for the first 2 years of their marriage. Once he realized how he'd acted, he showed up at our annual family reunion and personally apologized to the entire family. The rest of their trip from out of state was nice, and every year we exchange cards, invite each other to special events, and keep in touch, as if it never happened.

2006-11-03 13:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jennalove311 3 · 1 0

Forgive him! Not too many men admit their mistakes! My husband kept my kids away from my mom for years, and now he allows them to see her! But he has NEVER apologized or admitted his wrong and my mom resents him for that!! Let go of the past and keep the peace!! He has obviously seen his wrong a is willing to change!!! Allow him to change, and just start over!

2006-11-03 15:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by panda 3 · 0 0

Don't let another moment go by that you haven't talked to your daughter, planned to see her, and work things out. As painful as all that was, you have a chance to have a relationship with all of them, and there is time to have iet be a good one. How great for you that this situation is on the mend.

2006-11-03 13:46:55 · answer #11 · answered by Chris 5 · 0 0

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