3 YO wont eat?

Question

I am adopting my 3 YO nephew, I have had him in custody 6 months...to date he refuses to eat anything that could remotely resemble a veggie..(all food was fast food prior to my gaining custody).he chokes...gags...spits...screams..will go almost all day without eating..
Im at the end of my rope..
Help this helpless single uncle/father

Answer 1

First, remember: you can't MAKE him eat something he doesn't want to eat. And, in fact, if you try to force him, he'll only resist harder. It's not just because of the food itself; it's also because of the stressful transition he's going through. Changing his diet along with his living situation is not going to be an easy task.

Having said that: you certainly shouldn't keep stuffing fast food down his throat. So, instead, split the difference: start feeding him foods that are relatively fast-food-like, but still healthier than what he's eating.

What do I mean by "healthier"? Simple: if it has any of the following ingredients, don't bring it in the house:

1. Partially hydrogenated ANYTHING;
2. Corn Syrup, high fructose or not;
3. More than fifteen ingredients listed.

Do that, and you're already light-years beyond the fast food diet. That means waffles and real maple syrup for breakfast, and throw some bananas on there. Chicken and rice for dinner, tastes almost as good as a chicken sandwich from the fast food place. You get the idea.

Now, he'll eat, and he'll be better off than before. But here's the thing to remember: he will not actually be able to starve to death, and he will gradually want to start emulating you (because he's a kid, and kids are always curious eventually.)

So, do this:

(a) if he doesn't want to eat what you make (and do include some of the foods I described above, not just super-healthy stuff), say "okay" and make sure he's well-hydrated (just make the water available, don't cram it down his throat);

(b) sit down and eat every meal you can with him, and make sure that your plate is full of the healthy stuff you wish he'd eat.

Sooner or later, he'll get hungry enough that he must eat SOMETHING, and if you're eating good stuff (and not trying to get him to eat it) he'll eventually take some off your plate.

Just remember: one step at a time. Stop fighting him and let him come to you, by making foods that are better -- if not great -- available, and gradually shifting him over.

Heck, I have two kids; some days one of them just doesn't want to eat, and some days one of them decides they hate something they loved yesterday. Just roll with it.

Answer 2

Make eating fun. Get him involved in the fixing of his plate. Try adding things that he might like as a topping for the veggie. Let him make fun shapes out of them. Their are different websites that will help you in creative ways to get your child to eat healthy do a yahoo search. I am frotunate that I have a child that loves veggies. When he was younger he wouldn't eat brussel sprouts no matter what I tried. My Dad told him that they would put hair on his chest and he has been eating them ever since and loves them. Good Luck!! Also congratulations on your adoption. I was adopted when I was 5 days old and I think that it is a great thing when people can adopt.

Answer 3

Colleen O speaks wisdom. Also, put only a small amount of food from what has been prepared in front of him. Too much food is overwhelming to a small child. Don't make something just for him or else he'll never learn to eat normal food. At his age, he isn't growing really fast anymore. From 2 years old to preteen, a lot of children aren't all that interested in eating because they aren't all that hungry. If you are having roast beef and mashed potatoes, put just a teaspoon of potatoes, a teaspoon of peas, and a tiny bite or two of meat on his plate. If he won't eat that, he may sit and watch you eat. If he throws his food on the floor, take his food away. He will get hungry eventually. Tell him that if he eats everything on his plate, he will get a tiny bit of dessert. Explain to him that the more he eats, the bigger his portion of dessert will be.
Don't get mad if he won't eat. Don't feed him snacks. He is testing you. Just be firm and remain calm. Good luck!

Answer 4

Colleen makes an excellent point. Always remember that you are the parent, and you are doing what is best for this child's sake. If you let him push you around whenever he doesn't want to do something, there will be serious discipline issues in the future.

He's testing boundaries right now, to see where he can and cannot press you on certain issues. If you draw the line and stay firm, and let him know those veggies are gonna be eaten, he'll be more likely to listen to you in the future.

Stay strong, and kudos to you for caring enough about him to adopt!

Answer 5

my 2 yo goes through days that she just doesn't want to eat..anything. So I know how frustrating it can be, but they wil eat when they get hungry. As for veggies, I let her dip them in ranch, and she loves it. Especially because she sees e1 else here doing it, it makes her realize that we are not singling her out to eat these things. Baby carrots and cucumbers work well for that, without making their bellies ache from gas. Cooked veggies, most of them anyway, are great with cheese. We put veggies in her mac and cheese too and she loves it. Peas, broccoli, cauliflower...and even tuna are good add ins. Cooked carrots can be pureed and put in spagetti sauce with out drastically chaging the flavor, try sneaking other veggies in there as well. There is a tomato basil garlic spagetti sauce that has tomato peices in it and my daughter loves it, and has never noticed the added veggies we sneak in there too. Hope that gives you a few ideas, congrats on the adoption, and Good Luck

Answer 6

it's really hard for people that haven't had kids before to taken and adopt a kid that is used to a differnt parenting. you are now that parent and you know what is best for your kid. i read a few monthes ago about a study the shows kid that start eatting heathy at young age will be more likly to eat health when they are older. try buying fresh veggies or if you have no frozen, just stay away from caned. you should steam or bake the veggie. when you boil them all the vitamins and minerals as well as favor go out of them. try slowly phazeing veggie in by mixing them in the meal or makeing sure that he has at least 1/4 of what you set in front of him then 1/2 half then 3/4 then all of it. and positively say good boy when does what he should.

Answer 7

Try not giving him the veggies for a week and then just give him a taste or so . Slowly build up his taste for veggies and good nutritious foods.What ever you do DO NOT GIVE HIM FAST FOODS. When he has a liking for the nutritious foods promise him if he eats such food for so many days you will buy hin a McDaonald burger . Give him a calendar and you help him to cross each day off heading for that burger.

Answer 8

while the advice of let him go hungry for a day is really the most logical solution, it's one you might want to be wary of...

being that you're probably going to be closely monitored, since you're not the legal father, this could get you into a lot of trouble with someone who might think you were starving him...especially if he says the wrong thing to the wrong person.

if he won't eat veggies but will eat fruits, make sure he gets extra fruits, they've got similar vitamins, and will at least make up some of the difference

if he won't eat fruits start with things like apple sauce, LOADED with TONS of Cinnamon Sugar...try doing a fondue...melt chocolate in a pan and give him fresh fruits to dip in it, strawberries will work best I think. Strawberries are also good with sugar. Or try putting a little fruit in his cereal, or maybe blueberry muffins...there are so many things you can do with fruits, that I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you.

Back to the veggie problem, well that's not so easy, they're not as sweet as fruits, so it's more difficult...if you think dipping cucumber slices in chocolate might work, then go for it...it can't hurt to try, right? Kids are more likely to eat something if you just put it in front of them and don't make a fuss about it, don't tell them it's good for them or any of that junk, and you might stand a chance. I always liked a little extra sugar on my corn when I was little...maybe that would be a good start? Geez, everything I'm suggesting sounds like you're turning healthy things into dessert, but if it'll get him to eat them, then great!

Also, try rewards with him...if you eat 5 bites of your carrots you can have cookies after dinner. And other things like that...don't rely on this too often or he will expect cookies everytime he does something you want him to do.

Hope some of these ideas help!

Don't give up hope!

Oh, and if he likes fast food so much...try potatoes, they're very starchy, but they're still a veggie...start with baked french fries, those will look familiar to him, then try salt potatoes, tell him they're a different kind of french fry, these ones are bigger and aren't crunchy, if you can get him to eat salt potatoes, then baked or mashed shouldn't be any problem!

Answer 9

my 3yo ate primarily only stouffers Mac and Cheese for what seemed like years and years...first remember that a serving size is really just a couple of tablespoons for this age...offer him the new foods along with some of his favs each and every meal..slowly shift the serving sizes to the healthier foods as time progresses...no agruing if he doesn't touch the new stuff...be matter of fact and don't take anything personally..he will eventually learn to eat other foods..just keep offering...

Answer 10

congrats!!! anyone can make a child it takes a man to raise one. anyways try dips toddlers love to dip, use ranch dressing, ketchup, cheese sauce or better yet salsa (double wammy stocked full of veggies its self) my other suggestion is to add veggies to noddles toddlers love noddles make spagetti and put any kind of veggie in the sauce (carrots are really good) IF these ideas fail grab a blender and make juice.