My dad is currently in a coma and he is going to die. We are trying to decide if it is best for her to come and see him and say goodbye and giver her some closure or not to. Anybody with an opinion it would be really helpful
2006-11-03 11:43:50 · 9 answers · asked by chillipepper808 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
kids are resilient. they understand things sometimes a lot simpler than we can and just trust. it's your decision and you should do whatever you feel most comfortable with. but keep her informed. my dad's dad died when my dad was young, and he wasn't kept informed at all, and it hurt. death is a part of life, and she should be exposed to that, but make sure you and other family members are there to help her understand and to just hold her when she cries. i'm so sorry that you have to be in this situation. it's so tough and heartwrenching to lose someone you love. it sounds like you have family with you- hold on to them. this tragedy in your life will make you stronger (you'll see it eventually), so just make sure all of you hold on to each other. don't be afraid to cry and break down sometimes. your little sister will be alright.
2006-11-03 12:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by disciple1987 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm speaking from personal experience. When my dad died I was seven. I didn't really understand what had happened, and my mother took my five-year-old sister and I to see him in the funeral home.
My last memory of him was lying in a coffin and feeling really cold. It scarred my sister and I for life. I will never forget that moment as long as I live.
If you do take her to see him, please explain what to expect. My mum didn't tell us anything.
Just remember that it will be her last memory of him, and that even though she's only four she'll probably remember something like that. I know my sister does.
I'm sorry for you and your family. This is a very difficult time, and I know that you only want to do what's best. God bless you and your family. I will be thinking of you.
2006-11-03 20:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by Amy D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a long talk with her. Tell to ask any questions she wants to about anything she doesn't understand. Talk to her about her father's condition and then ask her if she would like to go see him in the hospital. Probably she will want to, but let her know whatever she decides is okay. Tell her you will hold her hand and that she only has to stay as long as she wants to stay. Explain it might be the last time she will see him alive. Explain alive...
2006-11-03 20:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by ruthie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she'es too young and won't understand what's going on. She might remember later on in life but one day she'll ask what happened to her dad and someone would have to tell her. I would say to save her from all the sadness, just tell her, in some very easy to understand way, that dad is dieing. I don't think I would take her. She wouldn't understand that he is going to die. but it's completely up to you and your family.
I am very sorry that you all have to go through this. I will be thinking of you.
2006-11-03 20:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by .::country gurl in a 4X4::. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my husband's brother died, his daughter had two small children. They decided not to bring them to the hospital to see granddad with tubes and a breathing machine. They did attend the funeral to say their good-bys. Basically four is a little to young to know what death is and you don't want them to have bad memories of dad in his final moments.
2006-11-03 21:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandfather passed away when my son was 4. My grandfather had pneumonia and when he went downhill we explained to my son that "Opa" was really sick and God was calling him to Heaven. My son said, "I love Opa. He will have a good time being with Jesus and watching me play all the time." I think the fact that he didn't see my grandfather with all the tubes and wires and him looking frail helped him through this. He bought a frame for a picture that was taken a few months prior of the two of them and he has it on his night stand. (He puts it there himself, and talks to him in the photo.) From time to time he tells me that he misses "Opa" and he hopes he likes Heaven and when he gets to Heaven he is going to give him a hug!
Obviously, we have been bringing our son up in a religious setting and falling back on that was extremely helpful. Evaluate what your sister understands and simply explain it to her at her level. If you have a snapshot of the two of them frame it and tell her that she needs to remember your dad like this. For my son, seeing the medical equipment needed to keep my grandfather breathing, etc. would have been too traumatic, as I believe the funeral would have been.
Good luck to you, and I will pray for your family!
2006-11-03 22:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by alicia0821 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's one of the hardest things to have to go through. I'm sorry for you and your family about your dad. But I don't think that the memory of her father being unresponsive and almost dead would be a good last memory to have for the rest of her life.
Once again I'm sorry for you and your family. :(
2006-11-03 20:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by sassafras_tea_66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. She's probably too young to understand what's happening. No one here can tell you what to do, ultimately it's a decision your family have to make. Sorry I can't be of more help.
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, my deepest sympathy goes out to you.
2006-11-03 19:49:29 · answer #8 · answered by jayde 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he doesnt have all those tubes hooked up to him then i would but if he doesnt look like himself then i wouldnt
2006-11-03 20:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by jumiboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋