how do i learn to speak like a lady, proper speech and mannerisms?

Question

I am quite common in my speech. I have the worst bad language going. I have had people laugh and say when I am old I will be like the granny off the Catherine Tate show. I want to get rid of the stigma that I cannot better myself, I want to prove to myself that I can.

Answer 1

First you stop swearing and using any slang.

Think before you talk.

Use words like please, "Yes Madam/ Sir (when addressing an elder individual or someone you view as above you i.e a boss", Thank-you, No Thank-you.

Use proper table manners such as not having your elbows on the table, folding your hands when not eating, when done eating place your knife and fork on the plate together, anything you would do in the bathroom don't do at the table (picking at your nails/teeth, blowing your nose, etc), excuse yourself when you do leave the table, place you napkin on your lap when seated at the table.

Always stand up straight

Don't be a chatterbox. People that chatter on endlessly are viewed as rude and obtrusive.

Try saying things with as much tact and respectively as possible, even when angered.

Always properly address someone when you greet them.

Answer 2

Well personally, I think that you sounded quite eloquent in your question. You clearly don't have a problem with writing!

Changing how you talk is very difficult. It means that you are going to have to be on your toes with everything you say, in every situation. I suggest coming up with a punishment/reward system. Put a jar on your kitchen counter. Keep track of the swear words you say during the day, and for each one, put fifty cents, or a dollar - you decide on the amount - into the jar. You don't get to see the money again. At the end of every month, give it to a charity of your choice.

On the flip side, if you go an entire day without swearing, give yourself a small reward. Have that extra cookie at dessert, or take yourself out to the movies. Take a long bath. Do anything that you perceive as being a special reward.

Tell all of your friends and family about your goal. They can help catch you when you say something that you shouldn't, and they'll help keep you focused. Try to "think clean" as well. This will keep anything from coming out that shouldn't.

It can be really difficult to break any bad habit. You have to really want to do it. Make sure that you're doing this for yourself and not other people. Always be true to who YOU are.

Answer 3

I wonder why you use bad language? It could be a lack of vocabulary. I think that your real need is to read some good literature and develop your grasp of English. Perhaps you could sign up for some evening classes, not necessarily in English literature, but perhaps a foreign language or the history of art or something which interests you, so that you can expand your horizons and prove to yourself that you are capable of seeing through a course to the end of the year. Try to listen to other people and study the way in which they express themselves. The news and current affairs programmes on radio and TV are quite useful that way. Make it your business to listen more than you talk until you are confident that you are making some progress in what you have set out to do. I do so admire you for taking this stand and I wish you all the very best.

Answer 4

Good manners is about how you treat other people, not your accent and grammar. Having said that, if you want to speak in a more 'received pronunciation' way, there are classes, although these days they are classes in public speaking or presentation skills rather than elocution as such.

If you want a recognised course, then a good one would be the CPE (Certificate of Proficiency in English).

Finally, the best way to learn a new accent is to listen and practice to someone who already speaks that way. Why not get a talking book by an actor whose accent you want to pick up and listen to it in your own time.

The important thing is to speak in a way that is natural to you but shows the best of you - so thinking about what you say is as important as the accent in which you say it.

Be kind, polite, don't swear, don't talk too much or too loud - that's the best way to improve your language & communications.

Answer 5

Why not, and good for you! I imagine your "bad language" is in part due to where you live, who you "hang around" with, and parental influence. You can of course use a voice coach/tutor, just as Maggy Thatcher did . For general use speak QUIETLY without interrupting others. FOCUS on the person you are speaking to, SHOW INTEREST in their interests. DO NOT SHOUTunless your house is on fire or life is threatened. APPROACH people you wish to speak with ,do not shout in public - EVER. Learn a "good " new word EVERY DAY, your vocabulary will improve, and your ability to "pick" the correct word will become easier, and your speech more interesting, which could land you a rich stockbroker, who will take you to Royal Ascot, the theatre, and country house parties. If you have any well spoken acquaintances, speak with them, practise makes perfect. See you at Henley Regatta.

Answer 6

Probably practice what kind of words you would want to say, and think in that proper speech also. And, maybe watch television shows with that kind of language. I sometimes speak with a british accent without realizing it from watching BBC too much.

Answer 7

yah a women who always says bad language and stuff is very unattractive. just try and cut down on the swear words. you dont want to turn into an old lady like the queen do u?

Answer 8

I went to a deportment school. they taught us about pronouciation and things which you shouldn't say. Swearing is very common- if you swear, try to get out of the habit. Also saying 'umm..' is not very proper.

Answer 9

Relish your commonness I say. Nothing like a good commoner to add colour to your day.

Answer 10

At the end of the day its up to you, its better to be who you are than to pretend to be somebody your not. You only have one life so just try to be happy, try and say fudge instead of f### or shoot instead of ****, your still gonna be you at the end of the day. God I'm being philosophical tonight!!