What is my problem?

Question

I have trouble making decisions. It seems that I think way too hard and analyze every detail and still cannot make a sound decision about major things like relationships, changing jobs, etc. I can make everyday decisions just fine, but really struggle with the big ones. My sister-in-law said this is a symptom of depression, but I'm not depressed. What is your opinion?

Answer 1

IMO....it seems like you are just afraid of making a bad choice. Many people have the same problem, weighing all the facts on both sides of every issue, trying to find the exact right thing to do.
Well, there is never an exact right answer, we all do the best we can to make choices that are good for us and or our families, we do not always make the best choices because we cannot know what is ahead.
I think you just need to be ok with making a mistake sometimes, understand that you are just human and sometimes your choices will be perfect and sometimes they will not, every choice is a chance to grow and learn, so there really are no bad choices, just our perspective of what is bad. Go easy on yourself, you cannot see the future, make the best choices you can based on the information you have at the moment.

Answer 2

i use to be the same way and still am at times this is becuse u prefer to help and go with the flow of life rather then choice for ur self i use to be the same but this day i do it for me .
Unfortunately, you can't go in all directions at once and you need to decide which road to take. As you approach these key junctures, you need to pay more attention, heeding oncoming traffic, and evaluating the need for a change in direction. Fail to take these measures into consideration and you may end up making a wrong turn, or worse, end up in an accident.

So it is with life. Ignore the intersections in your personal or professional world, and you risk failure and wreckage. Just as you must adhere to the rules of the road when you're behind the wheel, so too must you use the same principles as you reach key decision points in your life

Answer 3

It sounds like you don`t like changes in big decisions. Alot of ppl don`t like changes and I am one of them. Moving really upset me for a long time and I hated the move and sometimes I still do. I started telling myself that its okay and it seems to work. I have major depression and take medication from my dr and that has helped me so much..I cannot tell you to do the same but talk to your dr about your problem! Good Luck to you!

Answer 4

Know you just have a harder time with making life changing decisions you should take your time so that you are sure you made the right decision
you are fine there is nothhing wrong with you

Answer 5

one of the tools I use is the zing/thud method... I run my options through my mind... to those that will more than likely not be good choices, my gut will feel a "thud"... those ideas that will likely suit my needs and temprament will cause my gut to zing... not a really scientic notion but I have come to trust my gut implicitly even when I don't like what it's "saying"... so I guess what I am saying is listen to yourself... learn to trust yourself... remind yourself that you are there for you unconditionally... that self-support makes it just a bit easier to move forward... it's a challenge to master life decisions but NOT making them can prove way more disasterous than risking your ego and staying on the fence... another thing that helped me was playing "what's the worst that can happen?" and I go through various scenarios and play it out in my head... another thing I do is play out in my head "if I make this decision, what will be the ramifications 1 year from now, 5 years from now"... similarly asking "if I do not make this decision... " you can also create an expanded pro/con list where there are 4 quadrants - pros OF/cons OF and pros of NOT/cons of NOT...

yes, it's difficult but tools are what we can use to build the life we desire and deserve... without using tools, we are shortchanging ourselves at our own expense

being able to see my decisions on paper helped me not be in denial of which was the right one to make

Answer 6

Sometimes people that think they don't have depression really do. But I think that your an indecisive person like me where making an important decision doesn't come easily. I think to much that's my problem instead of going with my instinct.

Answer 7

having dificulty making everyday decisions is a symptom of depression. making major lifechanging decisions isn't. decideing wether to put on lip gloss or not is not a lifechanging decision-trust me. changing jobs should be one thought out carefully. relationships can definatly change your life. good luck!

Answer 8

I think you are always trying to make the perfect decision. If you realize that the perfect decision never can be made, then probably your problem will disappear.

Answer 9

dont think too hard,you have to let your instinct make your decision's sometimes they will be right, sometimes wrong, but life can be a gamble. My aged and wise granny said......F**k I'm dying, and she was right. Life is too complicated, go for it, if your wrong (and you wont be ) try again.

Answer 10

Everybody struggles with big desision one time or another. I do too and there is nothing wrong with me. You are perfectly normal. But of course what is normal? lol :-)