i dont want my marriage to end because we are falling apart because of his work i love my husban help?

Question

i really love my husband im expecting any day know our second child but the thing is that i dont know what to do anymore im alone all the time and i really can take it anymore i really would like to spend more time with him i feel that its not that i want to its just that i need time with him he is working 6 days a week from 8 to 7 or from 11 to 9 it depend on the week we dont go out anymore because the day he is off we are both exauted im 36 weeks pregnant and because he is out all the time im in charge of a 2 year old with chargin\g batteries and the day he is off i want to rest and he to because of how much he works. i love him but i feel i can keep up with a relationship in were there is no romance no time alone and not even sex anymore its like i can becuase i dont feel intimate with him anymore we are so much apart i do love him alot and i know he loves me but i need more of a relationship and i have let him know how i feel but i dont know what more to do any adviced?

he loves me and he is working because he want better things for us but our relationship is falling aprt because we dont see each other anymore i have feel so lonely in this pregnancy and for along time now an its so hard the only thing i want is to spent more time with him and with my son and now with the baby please help me we really love each other

he loves me and he is working because he want better things for us but our relationship is falling aprt because we dont see each other anymore i have feel so lonely in this pregnancy and for along time now an its so hard the only thing i want is to spent more time with him and with my son and now with the baby please help me we really love each other

Answer 1

Start by sharing your question with him. He needs to know how you feel.If he tunes you out, then print it for him. He needs to know.

Answer 2

I know what you mean my husband works out of town and were in the process of trying to have another baby but i only see him 5 times a month so it's kind of hard. But you have alot of emotions going on right know and if you love each other like you say you do then you can work through it. Being alone sucks but if you look at it he's trying to make a better life for his family and that's better than not having each other. Maybe when things calm down you can both take a needed vacation,LOL Good luck

Answer 3

Many people feel that money buys happiness. YOu are proof it does not.

One thing you can try: Every day, think of ways to make him happy when he is home. Also, validate how much you care for him and how appreciateive you are that he tries so hard for you all.


However, that being siad, make sure you DO plan quiet time with him every day, even if it is only 20 minutes. Rub his feet, massage his back. Perhaps you can encourage him to look for another job with shoprter hours and better pay. Families make husbands think they have to work harder and longer. Then, the nmen feel isolated and the woman feel unloved. Perhaps the two of you can get into a home business even with kids around. That solves a lot of problems.

Read:

He

She

and

We

These are three short books by Robert Johnson. You will understand youslef better, him and relationships

Read

Necessary Loses

It deals with the illusions we all have about life so that we come from contribution and service to one anotjher so we don't feel loss when things happen differently than expected.

Make married female friends in similar situations. Post looking for on Platonic on Craigslist and see a few new women... you won't feel isolated.

Answer 4

Hi. I am a father of three beautiful children. My wife and I have been together since high school, about 16 yrs. I can't tell you what is going through your husbands head but I know in my case I need to work to support my family. Yes, sometimes it even feels good to go to work to get away for a bit, but it's nothing personal toward my wife or my kids. I love them all more than anything on this earth. My wife has been a stay at home mom for all 3 kids ages 14, 11, & 3. Sometimes she gets really frustrated and feels alone too. It definately makes me feel bad but I know that I have to put food on the table. I'm sure your husband loves you very much. Us guys might just think a little different sometimes. Good luck to you...

Answer 5

You are together, you just need to communicate.
Don't just stay in limbo wondering. Being pregnant is hard enough without adding stress to yourself. There seems to be stress on both of you. You need to sit down and have a real talk on how you feel and what you both want in the family and stick with that. Having "more" "better" things isn't always the best. A loving family who spends time with each other is the important.

Answer 6

Why aren't you spending time together? I'm pregnant and I home school our two boys. My husband works 12 hours shifts. I get up with him at 5am and we walk the dog together. I make him breakfast before he leaves for work. He gets home at 7:30pm. The kids and I start dinner late so that we eat with him. We put the kids to bed and then me and my husband cuddle on the couch and flip through the channels until we're too tired. It isn't much but during the week that is all the time we have together so we make the most of it. If your husband gets home at 7, it seems you have plenty of time to sit down for a meal and cuddle for awhile before bed. If he works 11-9 you have an entire morning to spend together.

Why do you need to go out? On his one day off rent movies or make dinner together. It sounds to me that you are making a bunch of excuses but not really putting any thought or effort into this. Marriage takes work and if your husband must work those kinds of hours then you just need to be a little more creative with your time together. If there is no romance it is because neither of you is trying to put it into the marriage. Make more of an effort. If this doesn't get him to make an effort then sit him down and explain your feelings to him.

Answer 7

Sweetheart, you NEED to calm down. I'm not saying your problem isn't real, but this is not the time to focus on it. You need to take a deep breath, and stop telling yourself you can't take it anymore. Instead, tell yourself that for now, you are strong enough to be add another person to your family and care for the rest of your family on your own. Trust me - you are! If you leave him then you'll have to do this, like every other single mom in the world.

He may be avoiding spending time with you becuase he's nervous about another child. Or it may just be that he's worried about money and really want to focus on work for awhile to keep things under control finacially. Or it could be that what's happening is that this is life with little kids for most people and it's not really fun or glamorous!

Either way, you can talk to him and tell him you miss him - just don't make it into this huge deal! Don't make it huge issue - just ask him if you can get a sitter on his day off and go out for lunch and a matinee.

Take care of yourself, and spend more time with friends. Know that your lives are in a very transitional place right now, and try to be creative in working with what you've got. If he's tired at night but you want some quality time, bake brownies, order takeuot, and rent a movie for some cuddly couchtime (and be HAPPY with it).

I know I sound a little harsh, but it's just because I have been/am currently in your shoes. With this second pregnancy, my boyfriend's gotten a new job so he can work less hours - 50to55 a week now, as opposed to the 65 he was working during the last one. He walks out the door at 1pm and comes home at 1am exahausted (he's a chef). The time we are home together in the morning, he's sleeping. It does suck, but I know he's doing it for us, and I know he loves me, and I know I am strong enough to stick with him through these tough times because his life isn't easy on him either, and he would rather be home with me. I want to be with him forever, and I know we will make up for this lost time. For now, we do the best we can. I'll sleep on the couch until he comes home at night just so I can wake up at 1am and trade footrubs and stories of our days before stumbling off to bed.

It's not ideal, but I wouldn't trade him for anything else, and I have faith in a payoff of a fufilling life together once the kids are older.

Answer 8

FInd a babysitter and on that day off he has just spend it just the two of you. Even if it just sitting on the couch watching TV. I know how you feel my hubby works all the time and I am pregnant and chasing our son all day. We are tired but just having a little time alone can be nice.

Answer 9

Prepare an analogy to your marriage story-an emotional word picture. It has to be a moving and emotional story that will move him. Then say "THis is how I feel."

First leave a note for him somewhere. Tell him to meet you at a good restaraunt at 6:00. Bring a good gift! Give it to him when you sit down. After some small talk about the kids, tell him to listen to a story. After the story, tell him this is how I feel. Try it, IT WORKS!!! But don't have any tones of anger, then it won't work, but you will feel sorrow.

Answer 10

i know what you're dealing with. i've got been interior the process the comparable. i might propose which you do no longer attempt and hide your thoughts from the two of them. Anger and thoughts of betrayal are commonplace. they are in a incredibly terrible place too now, yet with the intention to make the splendid judgements for themselves and for you they should nicely known the way you experience and what you're questioning. thoughts are working warm and that they'll in all probability say and do issues which they'll remorseful approximately. Your mom needs to run away, it incredibly is commonplace. i'm guessing, considering the fact which you do no longer decide to go away, which you like your Dad and the placement the place you reside. it incredibly is sturdy you informed her you do no longer decide to circulate. in case you like her to pay attention, honesty (blunt honesty) is often terrific. My mom and dad seperated: my Dad have been given remarried and my mom has jumped from dating to dating. it incredibly is been an quite bumpy experience yet i'm able to assert that i've got come out of all of it genuine and a a lot extra advantageous individual. Your mom and dad nevertheless love you. issues might look chaotic and dark genuine now, yet I promise that it's going to get extra helpful.

Answer 11

I think he really needs to know your feelings. I think mabey you should print out what you have just writen and leave it laying around where he will find it. It kinds reminds me of my relationship, but i make sure my hubby knows how I feel, and he then makes time for me too. I am 27 weeks pregnant and we have two girls 4 and 5. He works 122 hours in a pay period and it sucks sometimes, I know how you feel. talk to him. it will help.