help me with this big problem?

Question

i am 14 and my mother is OVERRRPROTECTIVE! i have all a's and b's in school but if i miss 1 assignment she acts like the world willl end! she makes me stay in my VERY tiny neighborhood i have to come in when the streetlights come on even when im over a friends house!i havent spent the night ver a friends house in years and i dont go to ANY parties! i have never done anything on the past so does any1 kno y she acts like this??is it because she underestimates my ability to handle myself or what??its driving me nutzzz

i dont go outside 5 days a week because she calls every 5 minutes asking where i am...so i just watch tv all day and then she says its my fault because i gain weight!!!!!

i kno she is trying to protect me but she goes overboard sometimes.....off the phone at 9:30 in bed at 10 i cant even wear what i want!!i wanted to do punk rock but she wont let me....i cant get y ears or anything else pierced i cant get highlights i cant arch my eyebrows!!!i cant wear make up.....the list goes on....

i mean im 15 in a little while......doesnt she realize that when you go too far im gonna start doin stuff anyway???

Answer 1

Many parents are like that. Mine were, too, when I was your age (ugh, I sound old). They're not doing it to make your life miserable. They're doing what they think they need to do in order to keep you safe. There ARE things and people out there that will do you harm. Your parents are trying their best to keep you safe from that.

As you get older, they'll probably begin to give you a little more freedom. Remember, at worst, they'll have to let you go once you graduate high school (it really isn't that far away; trust me).

Answer 2

Your mother loves you very much. She wants you to be successful and go far in life, unfortunately she may be a bit overbearing. Please remember, your mother has been where you are right now, a 14 yo teenager. She is probably so terrified of the "what if" scenarios that she feels she has to be strict. Your mother knows what's best for you but if freedom is what you want, try and work something out with your mother by asking her to allow you stay out 5 extra minutes or to allow friends to come over to your house for a sleep over. You have to understand that if anything happens to you in a negative way your mother would never forgive herself - She mayn seem overprotective but you'd be amazed how many 14 year old girls DONT have a mother like yours. Be thankful you have a mother who loves you.

Answer 3

Maybe she is just scared. Just look around even on this site. Their are 13 year olds talking about being pregnant or aren't sure if they are pregnant. She is probably worried that if she doesn't keep a tight leash you will be out there too. She is a mom and that is what they do, they want to protect you and keep you safe from harm. When you are older you might look back and notice all the mistakes she made sure you didn't make and you will be glad.

Answer 4

My Mom was very similar with me. You know why! OVERPROTECTIVITY! It's just insane. All I can tell you is you're not missing a WHOLE heck of a lot, just a little heck of a lot - sorry. I'm 35 now and I'm thinking I need to be the same way with my 13 yr. old who has already started to disappoint me. Try talking and reasoning with your Mom and GENTLY speaking to her fear of the unknown. She has some cause for awareness ... its crazy out there. Look forward to embracing your freedom knowing you have given yourself an excellent education when you go to college in a few years. Good things come to those who wait. Look for some school related extra curriculars as that's gonna be your best bet for socializing. Also, ask her to escort you... a couple of times of that and she may trust you to send you out on your own. It's worth a try! Best wishes to you darling.

Answer 5

You feel that your mom is being overprotective but she just cares and loves you very much. She worries that if you let your grades slip once it may become a habit......It is so easy to get caught up in the wrong things when your young (not knowing that there wrong). Your mom knows how other people can be, and how they can influence you easily, and can hurt you and take advantage of you. I agree tell her how you feel. Maybe if she gets to know one of your friends they can come to your house. Don't be bossy or pushy it will only hurt this issue.....THERE ARE A LOT OF CRAZY PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO KNOW JUST WHAT TO SAY TO GET TO YOU GET WHAT THEY WANT FROM YOU AND CAN HARM YOU.. These people are not just dirty old men ...That is why your mom worries she knows what this world is really like....Be glad she loves you so many kids have parents that don't give a crap

Answer 6

Hey,
My mom was that with me.....One reason why I think mothers does that is because there are so many young girls around your age who is having sex, and getting pregnant, dropping out of school, doing drugs, etc...Your mom doesn't want you to do that, she wants to make sure you are safe, that you ain't doing anything you not suppose to be doing, or getting any diseases....I will let you know one thing though, when you turn 17, you probably going to go wild....I know me and my sister did, and settle down when we met the right guy!!!! As far as not letting you pierce your eyes, and all that, she knows that it would make you prettier, and the boys would definately be after you.....Plus, I think people's natural looks are the prettiest...But that is my opionion....Just sit down and explain stuff with your mom....Tell her that she can hang out with you, she might watch you and then let you go by yourself sometimes....Who knows, it will be worth a try...When you get older, your mother will be your best friend!!!! Good Luck!!!!

Answer 7

I have to disagree with Kiki, who said "u r almost an adult u r a young adult ". Fourteen is not a "young adult", it's a young teen-ager. I also must take issue with even younger people on this question posting their age on line, do you realize there are vultures out there shopping for you? Especially if you say how much you are wanting to get away from your protective parent.
This shows how much you NEED to be protected and not the other way around.

Answer 8

Hi Whatsup? I see most people responding are parents like me. My daughter is 13. Like you, she has excellent grades (good Job!) But her mom is also overprotective. I think what is really happening is that my daughter is her mom's best friend. Her mom has several other friends as well but she loves to be with her daughter and as a result, tends to want her home with her. Perhaps It is not a question of trust. We do allow her to sleep-over selected friends houses and go to dances with her friends because we know they are good people. I know as well as you that there are kids that can influence her to smoke cigarettes, pot
and other things to be cool. But we have suggested ways for her to avoid those situations and have confidence that she will. Again, your excellent grades speak for themselves. Ask for a compromise. If you don't miss your assignments, will she allow you can go to a dance. If you mom allows, you can easily prove you trustworthiness. Tell her all about what happened. Once she feels comfortable with it she is more likely to say yes. Your mom will soon see that a circle of good friends will be protecting you against influences better than she can at home. Good Luck!!

Answer 9

My father was very protective when I was 14, now much older. You will eventually come to appreciate all that she does for you. Do not take it for granted. There are SOOO many kids who have parents who could not give a darn. Try to show her how responsible you are but do not force the issue. Most parents, like myself, tend to overcompensate for what was lacking in their own childhoods. Sorry, but you need to look at the positive, at least she is paying attention and CARES.

Answer 10

Ask your mother to take you for an evaluation with a therapist. If she reject the notion, ask the school psychologist for an appointment. You must talk in private about your frustrations of dealing with life and mother, and the need for self expression mom is denying you.

As for the weight gain, ask her to let you join a gym to help lose the weight. If she refuses, then she is contributing to child abuse and the school must be told of this, particularity the social workers at school.