I think my son may be a homosexual. What should I do?

Question

My 18 year old doesn't seem to take any interest in girls at all...he spends all of his time watching Gray's Anatomy and doing his hair. Is this ABC's fault? Should I blame myself? My wife? His health teacher? That evangelist guy? I just...need some answers....

"be a parent.. supportive. Love him for who he is... not his sexual orientation. if he is homosexual, he's going to need a network of loving, supportive people around him.."

Do you think I'm a fag too? What the hell kind of a response was that?

Answer 1

Slow down... none of that means that he is gay. Ask him what he likes about Grey's anatomy. Maybe he likes one of the girls in it or maybe the medical part. It can open a door of discussion that is clearly needed.
Good Luck

Answer 2

Showing lack of interest does not mean he is gay or homosexual.
The social development of people are different and not every male starts copulating the moment they hit puberty. For example, Sir Issace Newton, for one example of many, never married, his mind was too complicated and involved on the theories in his head -- his solitary life allowed him to conceptualize ideas that would change the world forever. If he had not followed who he was and his energies were diverted by women he may never have become who he did and discovered what he discovered.

Your son may be very cerebral, or possibly he has not filled out physically enough or psychologically of enough to think he can get the quality of girl he likes. Woman today are not the previous generations women, they seek careers first , money, cars, looks and then perhaps marriage -- not saying that is bad or wrong just almost reverse of women a generation ago and your son is working in this new dynamic. When it comes to dating and mating there are basically two types: ducks and swans, just as with the actual animals duck type people quack alot , date alot, mate alot with many differnet people -- swan types on the other hand are more quiet , sometimes preening and have only one mate for life, and therefore are choosy , picky and appear aloof. So wether you are a duck or a swan neither one is wrong, it is just who you are by nature and another should not try to change or ridicule that.

The best thing you can do as a father is be his friend at this stage in his life. Who knows he could be the next Tom Selleck, who was not married until he was 40 and showed so few signs of being interested in women or dating while he was establishing his acting career that the rumors swirled for years that oh he must be gay because he looked the way he looked and played the parts he played and was not dating or married he must be gay, but he was not, he just did not fit the mold.

Love your son, be his friend, show interest in what he likes, surprise him with initiating a trip or activity that he has mentioned he would like or love to do and bond with him and encourage him. He is your son and if he does not have to worry about your unconditional love and support for him and is happy around you because you two get along, open communication should be good enough so that you do not have to be concerned or worried.

The dash between the birth and death of a person on his tombstone is actually short even though it seems so long sometimes and people often do many things during that brief time that others want to label them for but at the end of their life most of them were wrong because we are not static creatures but evolving and developing and only at the end or our dash of life can we truly say what a person was or was not. So do not scrutinize, be his friend, be his friend without expecting him first to be yours and you will reap what you sowed a good harvest that you will be very happy about.

Answer 3

First off you should have steered him towards more masculine activities when he was younger. Second just because he is not interested in girls does not mean he is gay. Maybe he has other priorities. I never did the dating thing when I was in school for many reasons and for a few years after that. Finally making an issue of this will only weird him out and cause him to break away from you trust me. If he is gay he is gay, live with it and help him. The last thing you want is for the mainstream gay community to get a hold of him as any chance of him being strait will be gone. However like I said do not jump to conclusions he has his whole life to get mixed up with a girl.

Answer 4

I would just continue to pray about the situation. Being a parent is always hard business. Love your son with all your heart even now. This world is so full of demons and they need to take part of someone's life. It's ok, stay firm in your support and hopefully the problem will work it's way through.

Answer 5

I don't know how wise it would be to actually ask him if he is gay. He may be struggling with it if he is and may not be ready to acknowledge it even to himself yet, let alone come out of the closet.

Just try to have meaningful conversations with him and be open for him to share whatever he needs to or feels like sharing with you. Current events can be a good way to get conversations started. You can find out how he feels about a lot of different issues, possibly including homosexuality that way.

When he feels comfortable conversing with you he may well let you know if or what may be an issue for him. It is worth the effort. Just be there for him.

In addition: After reading your bio I am wondering if you are for real!

Answer 6

There's no one to blame. If you really love your son,it does not matter his sexuality. I'm sure you want your son to be happy so you must be supportive. It could be hard now but you must think that he is the same person he was before you knew it.

And above all, remember that he loves you too,you will always be his father.

Answer 7

A lot of these things are natural for a young man but if you are that concerned talk to him. DO NOT accuse or make him feel like your attacking him. Be understanding and if he is take him to a councilor if he is willing to go. Go with him it might make him feel better to know your there. also there is a good web site called focusonthefamily.org they have an article on there about it.
Good luck!!

Answer 8

First of all, you can't "do" anything. Whats done is done. What you CAN do is remain open minded. Don't jump to conclusions.There is no one to blame-he just is as he is!
Just pull back & wait. Stay close, so he can talk to you if he needs to.I wouldn't say anything to him about this-you are making a judgement on very little evidence.18 is still very young-lots of boys mature later!Whatever he is, he is. Love him & find something else to fret about!

Answer 9

Let your son live his life. Don't blame anyone, maybe he likes to watch TV. Would you rather he was running all over the city getting girls pregnant and paying child support?

Answer 10

It's NO ONES fault...Relax...What YOU need to do is accept this, and be a kind, supportive, loving father..It's OKAY to be worried and fret, but don't you dare tell him it's wrong or love him any less because he might be this way. Talk to a counselor to help you handle this situation. Good luck...Just be calm, kind, and considerate.

P.S. "What kind of answer was that??" Someone else said that, but seriously, why wouldn't appreciate that answer? It's sooo true! Just be there for him!!

Answer 11

Well your the only one to blame if he is. No really, do not blame anyone but before you get all crazy, just ask him straight out. If he is, then a long talk is in order, if not, just wait, you may catch him in bed with a girl and get really embarrassed.