How do you take care of a bad 6 year old throwing a tantrum?

Question

OK I have a 6 year old nephew who is really spoiled, my sister is divorced so when she can't take care of him I take care of him and I'm really nice to him although some times he thinks he can get away with stuff. I love him so much he's my little monster that's what I call him any way well I'm the kind of person that's wont tolerate any misbehaving like my kids I show them how to be respectfully to others and not to be stingy.
Well every time my sister and I go to the store he starts to ask for candy, toys, movies any thing he wants he has to have it. Well my sister has stop spoiling him after she got divorced now his father started to spoil him even more he actually started to get him to think my sister doesn't want to buy him any thing because she doesn't love him any more. Which is really stupid on his part. My nephew even started to talk cuss and hit my kids, Example Well we go off to the store and if he doesn't get some thing he wants he starts hitting him self like banging h

(oops got cut off) He bangs his head against the floor even hits my kids my sister is already under a lot of stress and she even started to see a therapist any suggestions

Here's a little bit more his father cheated on my sister while he was in the army and he had the nerve to try to get full custody over my nephew, my nephew is my world so are my kids I treat all of them the same I don't spoil mine or him, and for those who think calling him my little monster he actually started to call him self that when he was younger so that's what every one calls him. well it's friday and I'm going home have a great weekend pp!

Answer 1

Put him in his room until he calms down. Failing that, a good spanking on the bare bum. It is as simple as that.

Answer 2

To begin with, don't feel guilty! Different children exhibit different personalities, and most of us with multiple children (or one with the right personality) will tell you that it is not a sign of bad parenting that a child is throwing temper tantrums at 6. The obvious answer is to remove everything from her room but her bed and to give her at least a week of a life with no possessions. You should be prepared to hand her her clothes every morning and her pajamas every night. Even take the drawers out of her room. I wouldn't wait until she had a tantrum to do it, I would do it when she isn't mad, and when she isn't around. That way, she discovers what you've done, she won't have anger over another issue to argue about. Her brain will process it as a long term punishment for a behavior she's exhibited over the long term. She will then see that she's being punished for the tantrum and not the behavior that led to her getting in trouble and throwing the tantrum. Do not tell her how long it will be for. And after a week or so, return her items to her one at a time. If she steps out of line (or also doesn't keep her room clean!) she loses it. Now be reasonable about it. Make sure she knows you love her, of course. Just let her know that first grade is a time when temper tantrums have to go away and she has to express herself without shouting, yelling, or throwing things. She can disagree with you and be surly, but she has to express it appropriately. Also, don't expect her to think as cognitively coherent as you do. It will take her time to process all of this. You'll probably see some tantrums in the coming weeks. But if you are consistent, loving, and firm, she'll get the idea. By the way, she probably isn't doing this in school. My "star student" child is a terror at home. It's because she's comfortable with her family and more herself and less restrained. I have to admit I'd much rather she yelled at me (she's a teenager) and was polite and respectful to her teachers than the reverse. My temper tantrum throwing kid outgrew it by 2nd grade, by the way. 7 yrs. old is a big developmental year, and big developments are always accompanied by emotional confusion. You're a good mom, and she's a good kid. It'll be fine!!!

Answer 3

Sometimes mismanagement results in such behaviors - he has been trained to do this, as he has always gotten something for such displays. He thinks that if he doesn't get something for creating a bit of a fuss, which usually has happened, then the answer is that he hasn't made a big enough fuss, so he makes a bigger one.

Technically, he should never again be given anything he doesn't need or deserve, and ignored the rest of the time, until he learns that fuss making won't work anymore.

But you don't have the say, and this is hard to do, especially in the stores that you have to take him to. Hard situation, but when you really look at it, he is tossed between two parents who don't get along, he has been inadvertently trained by them that a fuss gets a reward, and so what can you yourself do? Not a lot. And it's not really your problem, except that when it comes to him hitting your own kids, you gotta draw the line, and say no, can't have that, so he doesn't go with us, period.

Both parents, the dad more so lately, are really abusing this child. The kid really does not want to go through this, but they taught him this, so they need to get it together and end it.

Answer 4

Well, I had a nephew like that when he was 5 he would scream, throw tantrums, bang his head act up in stores and when we had company. I would discipline him, yell at him, we let him yell all he wanted in his room and when he would kick the walls in his room he would have to clean those walls. He stopped doing that after a while he hated to clean walls. He was very much spoiled, so, we started only buying him things for his birthdays and christmas and if he did something good we would reward him. That might not be the best thing, because he might expect it all the time. Well, as for my nephew when he was 5 his whole world was t.v. and that's what I would take away from him. I wished I could say that when they get older they will grow out of it. However, my nephew will be 8 soon, he doesn't hit walls or kick walls anymore or scream or throw tantrums or harm him self anymore like bang his head, he grew out of that. However, he is still spoiled and back talk and argue with us and disagree with us and he does whine constantly, I'm afraid its going to get worse, just like your nephew, be prepared.

Answer 5

Talk to his mum - you have to come up with a strategy between you. For example, if you go to the supermarket show him the little ride they always have outside and say "if you are good and help me in the shop, you can have a go on that". He's old enough to help with the shopping, too - work out a list and say stuff like "you can be a really big boy today and help me get these things".

With the cussing and hitting, if he's doing it in the house or out give him one warning, if he does it again sit him down on the naughty step or wherever. Say "I don't like those words" or "you don't say that word". Be consistent between you and your sister and he'll soon get the message. If he's really bad in the shops, take him outside, sit him down to calm down and talk to him while he's calm.

His dad is being really immature, the kid probably feels really confused as his parents have just divorced and he doesn't understand it. He needs consistent boundaries from his mother as well as hugs.

Always reward good behaviour, but not with a new toy -with a treat like a ride on the toy or a small packet of sweets once a week or a comic, or even watching a dvd with mum. It's very hard work being a single parent, especially when someone else is spoiling him and you have no control over it. But he needs to learn how to behave when he's with you and his mother. Have her work out a strategy and all of you stick to it. You'll soon see the difference.

Hope that helps, and good luck!

Answer 6

he sounds like he is having problems coping with the divorce. first tell the father to stop bad mouthing the mother. both parents love him both should respect his feelings for them. stop calling him your "little monster" because he is becoming one. when he miss behaves in the store take him aside and let him know that it is unacceptable and that it wont get him what he wants but rather it will get him grounded, and stick with it. cuss words need soap in the mouth ( just in and out quick enough to get a taste) head banging is a source of attention and should be stopped in a tacktfull manner. don't get horrified when he does it that is what he wants you to do. Tell dad to stop spoiling him mom has already done enough damage that way. just try your best to show him right from wrong but don't make comparisons to your children he will most likely get jealous of them for being "perfect" in his eyes.

Answer 7

Ignore the tantrums, he is doing it to get attention and get his way. If you all give in to him he will be in total control. His cussing and hitting are LEARNED behaviors, learned from one of his parents or at the very least in their home. Although divorced his mother and father NEED to sit down and talk about the problem that they BOTH are creating, before that problem winds up in juvinle detnetion or in jail.

Answer 8

It will be the last time I will say this: Every kid has their own character and attitude, caused by several deeds on the part of the parents. Kids should be active all the time and we must learn
how to play with them rather, than to have them seen but not heard! But, pls, buy some good books, like the Child Dianetics and the Tone Scale, by L.Ron Hubbard and apply the data therein
to your kids; you will be paid off!
Ciao.......John-John.

Answer 9

i hate to say it, but never tollerate backtalk in a raised argumentive tone, or fits. hey we all get the ho-hums and have pity parties, but.....
a spank on the after and before the mouth. and be darned quick about it. a childs viewpoint is relevant,however, how can you teach them if they continue to fight back?
i backtalked my mom only once! a hard slap in the face and i knew i was wrong. and fits dont get me started, sometimes i wanna lay down and throw a "i want my mtv" or "dude where's my old car", but hey i aceppted my consequences.
its just that when a parent doesnt use this power,then, with todays influences, your kids will start giving the ol "N.Y. howdy" by the age of 12-14.
i remember wanting to speak my point, but sometimes a parent wants you to be patient and realize they have other agendas at work, not making you miserable. hey when i was 17 i knew it all. at 35 and ^ i dont know basic excrement. hey if your kids or others dont respect you, letem have a lil fear, then ease it up for the respect, and talk to them as an adult, not as a goo goo ga ga.
i love kids. was rough on mine early(noisy diaper swats) so i could be easy in the later yrs.
when your elders have something to say, shutup and listen. then calmly state your arg. youd be surprised at the patience they now have.

p.s. pay a child to act out a fit so he can see how ignorant it is. fte, and i agree with you, nice mom! now tell sis to spoil the kiddo with devotion instead of cream and sugar. and also a child makes up their own mind about who treats them fair, but running down the other parent doesnt help unless you hit em at about 25+ mph.

Answer 10

the best advice is to get the child some help..divorce and mommy and daddy playing games over him is going to confuse the child and also teach him to play games...Yes the mother needs counseling but so does the father and the child, so that they may work out the problems and raise the child to be an assest to society.. Good luck..He was not born that way..he was created that way..now is the time to recreate him..good luck