Quick quick Martha, where are you?

Question

An old farmer didn't often get the urge,but when he did,he had to act upon it immediately.One day he was ploughing down in the bottom field,when he felt a mighty erection coming on."Bloody hell!"he shouted, running madly for the house&waving his arms frantically to get the wife's attention.He rushed through the door to find her scrubbing the kitchen floor."Quick quick!"he panted,"get upstairs&strip off while I've still got the urge."Sadly by the time she did as he wished,the moment had passed&he was still unable to perform."Now Martha!"he said forceably,"don't hang around next time.When you see me rushing home,get upstairs immediately."A few weeks passed&one afternoon,as the wife looked out of the window,she caught sight of her husband rushing towards the house waving frantically. Straight away she ran upstairs, stripped off&got into bed. "Martha Martha!"he called "where are you?"
"I'm up here,"she replied "waiting for you."
"Well get down here!"he yelled, "the bloody barn's on fire

ELLIS S - MAYBE YOU COULD PUT A JOKE OR TWO ON? AND WE'LL SEE IF THEY'RE AS FUNNY AS THIS ONE.

ISABELLE - glad you liked it.....there are an awful lot of boring people on tonight - don't know why they bother to reply....wonder if they could do better....guess we'll never know. :)

Answer 1

I love it fidgety.Reminds me of this one!
A farmer was sitting in a bar one afternoon,getting slowly drunk.A man came over to talk to him.
"You look down," said the man."It's a beautiful day.How can you be miserable on a day like this?"
The farmer mumbled:"Some things you just can't explain."
"Come on, tell me about it," said the man."It might help to talk to someone."
"If you really want to know," said the farmer,"I was sitting in the barn this morning milking my cow and I'd just got the bucket full when she kicked it over with her left leg."
"Is that all?It's not exactly the end of the world."
"Some things you just can't explain," mumbled the farmer.
"So what did you do?"
"I took her left leg and tied it to a post on the left with some rope. Then I carried on milking.Just as I'd got the bucket full again, she kicked it over with her right leg."
"I can see that would be annoying."
The farmer mumbled:"Some things you just can't explain."
"So what did you do next?"
"I tied her right leg to the post on the right and carried on milking.Just as the bucket was filling up, she knocked it over with her tail."
"You must have been angry by now?"
"Some things you just can't explain," mumbled the farmer.
"What did you do?"
"I didn't have any more rope,so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.At that moment,my pants fell down and my wife walked in.
Some things you just can't explain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Oh god help me, this is even harder because I am a female. Rosie O'Donnell is out, she would make me gay if I was a guy. Oprah is just so unappealing, but I here shes a nice person. Martha Stewart is not an ugly woman, so I would go with her, but I don't like her personality. My daughter and I just had this same type of survey about our next door neighbor and a couple of other people, being ship wrecked on an Island with one of them. The monkey that lived on the island would have won. Have a good day.

Answer 3

I liked it cuz it was a funny joke. I especially like it cuz I've never heard it before. I also like raudidave's reply when he said, "two types of heat there."
lol

Answer 4

OMG, I'm sitting here crying laughing and emailing this to a friend...good one

Answer 5

2 types of heat there fuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy

Answer 6

I liked it.

Answer 7

lmfao

Answer 8

very funny

Answer 9

...he burned it for the insurance money, I'll bet!

...yeah, Ellis S! ...how could you...

Answer 10

superb.

and give up your day job.