If time-out is better for children, why are the time-out generation of kids so violent?

Question

I seems as though discipline has has been taken from parents, teachers/schools and even church's. At what point are we going to stop being soft on children and get back to old fashion consequences and disciplne? I am not saying going upside a childs head is a good idea, but our society is too soft on kids to the point they seem to think they are above punishment. Am I wrong about this our just blind?

Answer 1

I think children of today are more violent and out-of-control than children of years past because of a lack of parental supervision AND a lack of discipline in the home. It all starts in the home. With certain forms of discipline being considered no-no's in our society today--like spanking-- it's hard for parents to enforce effective disciplinary action. I'm not saying that spanking your child is always necessarily the right or most effective way to go, but I think there is a time and place for everything. If your pre-teen goes out and flattens your neighbors tires, I personally don't feel that putting them in a corner for time out is going to be nearly as effective as a spanking to the rear.

Children today aren't under the parental supervision as children of years past. I've seen toddlers outside playing on the sidewalks in front of their homes, with no parent around in sight. Families don't sit down for dinners together or communicate like families used to. This may be due to many families needing both parents to work in order to support their families, and it may also be due to the fact that those still children theirselves are having children of their own.

Families used to sit down to dinner together every night and discuss their daily events or problems. Families today don't do that as often. Many times because one or both parents are at work. Parents today don't monitor the activities of their children or bond with their children nearly as much as they used to. Some may say that the internet, television and video games are corrupting the minds of our children today and making them more violent and out-of-control, but that has to start somewhere. And that somewhere is in the home. If you allow your child to sit for hours in front of the TV, playing his/her video game all day long without any interference of the real world, then of course that is all that child will know. Children have to learn right from wrong. Fantasy/fiction from reality. And that has to start with good parenting skills.

Parents need to know what their children are doing. Maybe not every second of every minute of every hour of every day, but they should be aware of what their children are doing, where they're going and who they're going to be with. Children that have parents that "trust" them too much to not get in trouble or do things they shouldn't are usually the ones out doing things that will get them in trouble.

Too many parents give their children free reign to do things. They're too lenient. They don't crack down on their kids for doing something wrong when they should, saying they will "next time" and when that next time does come around they still do nothing. So that child feels they can always do whatever, without being disciplined. When a child does something wrong he/she needs to know right away that what they've done is wrong and that there is and will be consequences. Be that spanking the child, grounding them, or putting them in time out. Different punishments can be applied to different offenses.

Anyways, I really think that a lack of discipline IS a problem, but so is a lack of parental supervision.

Answer 2

There's a difference between applying positive reinforcement and not giving reinforcement at all. Numerous studies have shown that children respond negatively when 'spanked'. Other studies have shown that positive reinforcement leads to happier children. While there is no substitute for hitting a child when they are reaching for a hot stove, there is also no reason to repeatedly hit a child when they trip over their untied shoelace. An overall lack of ANY type of discipline is what I believe is wrong with most parents today. Children need room to play, but they also need structure, and a good balance between letting kids be kids, and teaching them to be responsible people is what society should strive for, regardless of the method of discipline.

Answer 3

Well from what i've noticed is that, we have more of an open minded new generations now. Racism is really low between the young people. Proof is watch when a group of people walking together, or going to a festival, clubs, or restaurants there are all from different races. About, the bullies thing, as long as you don't raise your kids soft, they should be fine. They can take karate classes and if you report them to the principal they should stop bullying people.

Answer 4

1. There is no "time out generation".
A few schools and parents are practicing this instead of violent puishment - but most are not.
And even if everyone adopted the time out method and renounced violent puishment, after twenty years it probably wouldn't change the world in and of itself.
2. I suspect you are really referring to adolescents and post-adolescents, who should not be referred to as children - because they are not children, they are "pre-adults" i.e in a transitional phase.
3. There has been no "removal of discipline" - the reason children/adolescents seem to you to be unusually violent and aggressive is because they are more acutely aware than their predecessors of how children/adolescents are continually underestimated, patronised, insulted, cheated, exploited and abused - by adults (parents especially, plus politicians, police, social workers and teachers) who believe their beliefs and actions are right and proper and can't even begin to imagine the significance of their actions. They also sense the dissonance between the established view of/treatment of them and the increasing body of opinion that This Is A Lie - that they can be/should be listened to more, taken seriously more, and - yes- given more.
Get your head out of the tabloids and start living in the real world.

Answer 5

Could not agree with you more. I have, and always have had enormous respect for my parents. This is because I was disciplined...

I am doing the same with my child. No, he does not get a daily beating just to keep in him in line. Quite the contrary.. he knows what the consequences of pushing his limits to far is, and makes a conscious decision not to do so! Isn't that what all parents strive for?

People, listen to what this man is saying.. DISCIPLINE IS NECESSARY!

Answer 6

Yes - sure - because of all the millions (literally) of factors which influence the ways in which an entire generation of people behave and think, an alteration in discipline techniques is the ONLY factor which has any effect.

Sure!

Sarcasm, anyone? You can't possibly isolate one contributing factor as being the primary cause of a vague, non-specified effect such as the one you offer above. Total lack of scientific thought here.

Answer 7

I think it's just from a lack of discipline alltogether. I don't think the lack of spanking is the issue because a lot of people still spank. There have been a ton of studies done on violent criminals and most of them were spanked as a child so some help that was.

Answer 8

I don't think you are necessarily wrong, but not completely correct either. I think we have a lot of LAZY parents who let their kids do what ever they want and walk all over them. Too often rules are set and never inforced and this leads to chaos.

In our house a rule is a rule and that is all there is to it. There is no discussion about it. If a rule is broken there will be a consequence and you will not like it.

Also, if you decide to use a time-out this method is MUCH more effective...make them stand with their nose to the wall hands at the side for the number of minutes of their age.

Answer 9

In today's society, pilots are trained on flight simulators. Drivers are being trained on driving simulators, and too many of our children are being raised on death simulators. The greatest tragedy is that many of them don't realize life DOESN'T come with a reset button!

Oh, and as far as time-outs, lax discipline and Dr. Spock being the "way to go" when raising children, how many out there know Dr. Spock's own son committed suicide? Not a good reference in my book.

I say allow parents the ability to once again discipline their children and teach them respect for authority and their elders! My brothers and I were raised with an occasional swat with a belt when we earned it and it never bruised our egos or made us violent towards society or our own children or hate our parents.

One or two swats on the backside is NOT abuse - if the parents start beating the tar out of them, yes, it is, but parents need to discipline themselves at the same time and dole out punishment when they're calm, not out of anger.

Answer 10

I agree with what you're saying, but I don't think the problem is that we give time outs instead of spankings. The problem, in my opinion, is that people aren't disciplining their kids at all in a lot of cases.