My step-daughter is 10 and she is starting to talk back to both me and my husband. She has never been like this. Recently her mother and I got into a little bit of on argument over my husband and since then she started being that way with me. I love my step-daughter to death, so it hurts me that she's being that way with me, she's even starting to be mean to my her little sister who is 2. So what should i do? I also have never fought with her mother, this is the first time ever, so do you think she's mad about me getting into it with her mother??
2006-11-03 08:58:47 · 14 answers · asked by star-e 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know how that situatuion goes except I am the mother and my 10 year old lives with the father and stepmom who I also like alot but if Arianna (my daughter) senses tension which their has been she automatically sides with Mommy and takes her frustrations out on her stepmom and dad. I explain to her that were adults and what we speak about doesnt effect how much we all love her. AND also there is the pre teen factor which sets up the attitude itself, because there are boobies and hair and boys and do u remember how you acted when you were becoming a young woman....
2006-11-03 09:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by irishprincess69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being protective over her mom. That's understandable. Give her time. They will both eventually come around. I had a similar problem with my stepdaughter and her mom when I first married my husband. She was always getting into negative situations trying to get any and all the attention. Now we are the best of friends. Her mom and I are okay too. There is a saying in spanish dale tiempo al tiempo. Give time some time. It'll happen. Just continue to be loving and supportive like it seems you have been doing. Also, please don't let her take it out on the baby that's just plain wrong. She's probably feeling the baby is getting all the attention that was once just focused on her. Your husband should talk to her and reassure her that he still loves her the same. Regarding the x the mom should act more mature and keep her daughter out of matters that concern the adults. I feel deep in my heart it'll will work out. Good Luck :)
2006-11-03 22:11:20 · answer #2 · answered by olmedaevelyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is a bit upset about the disagreement you had with her mother, but guess what? She is 10 and the back talking is just starting.
What's the answer to back talk? If you find a way to stop it completely, PLEASE, let me (and the rest of the world for that matter) know.
What I will suggest is that you DO NOT tolerate disrespect. I haven't found that punishment completely stops it (I have a 12 year old that tries it still), but it sure makes her think twice before she lashes out. If something DOES slip out, she is immediately reprimanded for it.
As far as being unkind to her sister, don't tolerate that, either. She must be reprimanded for it as well.
She is just getting to that 'wonderful' stage where she is pushing boundaries. I'll bet if you talked to her mother, you'd find she's becoming a bit of handful for her, as well.
2006-11-03 09:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she is mad at you because you upset her mother. Children tend to take the side of their mothers whether the mother is right or wrong. Also, you have to realize that ALOT of parents bring
the kids into "adult issues" by talking smack about the other parent..........either in front of the children or to the children.
Your step daughter is probably hearing her mother vent to friends.
My suggestion is to have your husband take her aside and talk to her. Find out what is going on. You are her "STEP" mother and
right now that means enemy. Your husband is her father so he
is best suited to handle this.
If that doesnt work........put your foot down and refuse to deal
with her attitute. DO the whole time out thing. Tell her if she
wants to act like a baby.......then you will treat her like a baby and stand your ground...........backing down is the worst thing you can do right now.
2006-11-03 09:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she is mad at you for arguing with her mom. Still, you don't allow a child to speak to you in that manner. As her parents (you, your husband and her mom) need to sit her down and let her that her behavior is not acceptable. She needs to understand that what is said amongst the adults is grown up business and not for her ears. You all need to be on the same page with how you choose to handle her in your homes. You may also want to make an extra special effort to make sure that she knows that you bear no ill will towards her mom (even if you do).
2006-11-03 09:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it has a lot to do with her age. She is more aware of what is going on with all of you I'm sure she does not understand about the argument. You and your husband should sit down with her and talk it all out. let her express her self,you guys do the same. also know her body is starting to go through stuff and that makes her moody. just be patient good luck
2006-11-03 10:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by christine z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spare the rod spoil the child. Slap the little female dawg or threaten to send her back to her caring mother. Leave her in power and you'll find you shall bend over so far backwards that your spine shall snap ............ lay the law down, the sooner the better. All the psychobabble leads you nowhere, children as do adults require sets of rules to live by. Do not feel guilty, would you treat her as she is treating you ? Hell no you wouldn't ask yourself why .................. because you live by a set of rules where you respect other people and care for their feelings.
2006-11-03 09:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's possible she's siding with her Mom. You never know what Mommy is "feeding" the fire to cause a little extra heat. Let your husband handle the situation...but if he's not there when she back-talks you directly, don't threaten with "wait 'til your father gets home"...just try to handle it calmly and tell her you don't appreciate being talked back to and offer to discuss her problem with her right then and there. Good luck....tough situation.
2006-11-03 09:06:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a serious talk with her. Let her know that her behavior is not ok, but continue to respect her too. She is a little person and deserves respect, but so do you and your husband. Talk about it. Be open with her.
2006-11-03 09:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by Latina Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband's ex wife, and ask her to speak to your step-daughter.
2006-11-03 09:02:03 · answer #10 · answered by Strange1am 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋