Have you ever had to sit by, and watch a family member with a terminal illness in the last days of their lives slowly fade away? How did you deal with it. Apparently there is nothing medically left to help my grandmother, the doctors are basically keeping her comfortable now and waiting for the inevitable. Seeing someone you love going through this is almost too much to deal with. I would really appreciate any advise you could offer. Thank you.
2006-11-03 08:29:11 · 26 answers · asked by jam961 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just want to thank you all for such beautiful words of your own experiences. It is just so good to see that there are still some truly nice, caring people out there. It is going to really be tough to choose a best answer from what I have seen so far. God bless you all.
2006-11-03 08:51:59 · update #1
Thats exactly what i went through with my grandma....so I KNOW its hard.....but you have to think of it this way, like i did.....AT LEAST you have a lil time to spend wit her and PREPARE for whats gonna happen, instead of you not having ANY IDEA.....losing anyone you love is gonna be SUPER hard but being able to prepare yourself for it and telling them you love them one more last time will help. It did for me. My grandma died of cancer and in her last couple days she couldnt talk or even open her eyes but i know she heard me when i told her i loved her and i was gonna miss her. Im sorry to hear about your situation and im gonna be praying for you.
2006-11-03 08:39:16 · answer #1 · answered by luvbuggy!!!! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I lost my best friend last year to cystic fibrosis. He was 43 years old, and I miss him terribly. Being with him at the end was a real blessing, in that we could share the moments from our lives that defined our friendship. We talked about things that were special to us. Even though we were surrounded by friends and family, we had an "inside joke" that made him realize how much we meant to each other.
We laughed, we cried, we prayed and we said good-bye.
Getting through something like this is tough, and everyone deals with it in their own way. Try to think of positive things about the person, and live a life that they would be proud of you.
Talk to her, and give her your love and support. Tell her how much you enjoyed something that you two shared in your life. A special time, or a special event that meant something to each of you.
Tell her how much she has influenced your life, and how much a she means to you.
Give her all the time that you can spare, and let her know that her life has been full, and meaningful.
I hope that this helps, and wish you and your family the best in going through this tough time.
2006-11-03 08:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by Surfer Dad 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had to do that with my MOM,thats tough when someone you Love is terminal,I guess I was Lucky cause the Doctor told us that our Mother had a year left so we spent as much quality time as we could, and almost a year to the day she left us,that was 12 years ago and theres not a day goes by that I dont think of her.Just be sure that she gives her heart to the Lord before she passes,then you can know that she is in a better place,My prayers are with you in this time of sorrow.
2006-11-03 08:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Ricky Lee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually i just lost my grandma on Aug 22nd. I've sit with her thru her last days, she even passed away on my care. We tried to make the very best of the moment. It's too much to deal with. At that time i was devastated, but i know the time were close. So we make sure she's ready for that and you are ready for that, say everything that you feel, before it becomes a regret.
We asked her of her final request, Whether she wants to see her nuns or spiritual leader to give her a peace of mind, her choice of how she wants to be remembered.
Always bear in mind that it's the best way for her, for she will no longer in pain and will always live in your heart.
Now remembering my grandma will bring smiles on my face, she's such a nice, warm and loving grandma whose memory will stay forever.
my prayer will be with you.
2006-11-03 08:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by Blue Moon 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. My great grandmother passed away 2 January's ago and I had to go through the same thing. I held her hand and would talk to her. I knew she couldn't talk but when I looked in her eyes I knew what she wanted to say. I was able to tell her that I loved her and that it was okay for her to go. Out of everyone I have ever lost I was at peace the most with her parting, because I said my goodbyes and she knew and I knew that we loved eachother. When someone you love is laying there in pain and it's there time it hurts so much. Because you don't want the reality you don't want to let go, but you have to. Good luck to you and God Bless.
2006-11-03 08:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have, both my parents to cancer. I'm truly sorry, I do know what you're going through and how you're feeling. You feel helpless, hopeless, you're never going to get through it.You've had all these years of love from your grandmother, now you have to return it by being brave and letting go. Show your grandmother you're strong enough to cope with what comes next by being there to hold her hand, hug her, but smiling all the time. It's the hardest thing you've ever had to do, but you manage to do it. I know your heart is breaking and it takes a long time to come to terms with, but you get there eventually. There's no easy route, just one day at a time. I really feel for you and wish you well, but remember your grandmother will be watching over you when the time comes. I know my parents are.
2006-11-03 08:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that.
One of my biggest worry is I am scared when my grandparents are going to be 'away'. They are in okay-health but I suppose it is a concern as they are afterall, in their old age. Since five years ago, I made a decision to visit them every weekend and till today, I have kept to my own promise (as far as I can).
I suppose the best you can do is keep your grandmother company and share laughter. Fond memories will always be there. This is cold comfort I guess but I hope you will find the inner strength to deal with it.
Blessings.
2006-11-03 08:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by ash 7 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same dilemma when a close uncle suffered from lung cancer. I was personally taking care of him on his last days at the hospital. It was so sad and painful to see someone who used to be strong and powerful lie on a hospital bed waiting for the final day to come so he could join our creator from above. I know it is hard at first but all you need is to be strong for yourself so you could share the same strength to your grandmother. If she is currently on palliative care, that means she is not suffering from any pain. Cheer her up by recounting good memories together. Never cease in letting her know your love for her. It will sure help a lot in fighting the awkwardness of the moment knowing one day she will be gone.
2006-11-03 08:40:49 · answer #8 · answered by Bleedingheartofagoddess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A terminally ill patient needs tender love and care. Drugs will have failed and in most cases hospitalization will not be necessary.
We will all depart it is a part of living that we have to say good by to the people we love.
But here is nothing as rewarding as giving a relative tender love and care in his or her last days so that he or she can depart in peace.
2006-11-03 08:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My heart pours out to you and your family, I have not, as of yet, had to experience what you are right now. I cannot imagine how you feel, so I will send a prayer to heaven for your grandmother. Peace be with you all in your time of sorrow.
2006-11-03 08:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋