Is it stupid to have my wedding on my dad's birthday?? my mom and dad divorced about 12 years ago...we just found out the he has stage 4 cancer...the doctors gave him 10 years to live...we really don’t send that much time together, but when we do, its a blast. I thought by having my wedding date on his birthday, it will always keep him with us...
I first planned to have it may 19, 2007 and that is what I told him...we just changed it...
My question is; do u think he will be honored by the change? Or do u think he will be disappointed that we are not having it own our 'own' day...
Thanks!!
2006-11-03 08:22:31 · 15 answers · asked by camille 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
my mom is happy about the idea...she would like it on her b-day (june 27) but it lands on a week day...haha
my dad has a good 10 years left with us, i so think this would be a good idea...i just wanted some options...
thanks!!!!!
2006-11-03 10:07:22 · update #1
why are you asking us? ask your father! i don't know him.
2006-11-03 08:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married on a day that was super complicated for everyone: sept. 11th. Not only is it a sad sad day for the world in general but it is also my sisters in law, nephew and grandpa's bday, so you might guess if this was a dilemma or not.
First of all, I had to ask my sister in law if she did or didn't mind about it and she said it was great, that way I would never forget her b-day and she would never forget my anniversary, secondly, I asked my nephew and he didn't like the idea at first (pre-teen) but when I told him the reception could double as his party he agreed (he invited had a pre party before the wedding), and then there was the Priest who married us, when I told him the date he asked WHY? WHY September 11th? It is a sad sad day, but I told him, Father, my Grandpa was born on sept. 11th and it is my way of saying thanks, cause if he hadn't been born that day none of this would be happening. Father Bruno agreed to marry us and he gave the most wonderful speech at our wedding, he said that although there was a lot of sadness in the world, we had chosen to honor love and happiness on that day, so everyone had to rejoice.
I think that you have a great idea and that your Dad will feel honored, however I do suggest you ask him before planning anything, because as we are humans, everyone has their own opinions and feelings about things.
Hope everything works out for you! Good luck with the planning.
2006-11-08 14:26:33 · answer #2 · answered by White 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gut tells me this is a bad idea; I wouldn't do it. Have your wedding in May like you originally planned. Keep in mind that your wedding anniversary wil become a source of grief for you, instead of a day of joy. Trust me on this, I lost two cousins a few years ago and when their birthdays come around I'm very sad. Your dad will always be with your regardless of the date of your wedding. Like I said before, it's a bad idea to have your anniversary on his birthday.
2006-11-03 16:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does seem like a great idea - but at the same time, I have to wonder if I would want to celebrate my anniversary on my brother's birthday (he passed away 6 years ago). I think it would take a happy occasion and put a bit of a shadow over it.
2006-11-03 19:29:49 · answer #4 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your dad will like it. It's not like you are usurping his day, rather you are making it significant in a new and meaniful way while honoring him. No matter what, it will always be your wedding day, so I wouldn't worry about being sad about the association in later years. It's a very moving way to let him know how you feel and that he is a part of you.
2006-11-03 17:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you love your dad dearly. Personally though, while my father would want us to have our "own" day I know that if I had it on his birthday he would feel so proud. If you two have a good relationship and this is your and your fiances way of honoring him and remembering him in years to come I say go for it! Best wishes.
2006-11-03 16:33:44 · answer #6 · answered by J D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a great idea! What a way to memorialize him - but wait, he's not anywhere near post-mortem yet! Everything that happens in medicine these days, your dad could be around to help you celebrate your 25-year anniversary!
Cheers girl and congratulations!
2006-11-03 20:08:41 · answer #7 · answered by ihavethat45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its your day and do you really want your wedding anniversary every year for the rest of your life to be tied to something so sad as losing your dad? 'cause having it on his birthday will just be another sad, sad reminder of your loss once he is gone!
and by the way if your mother is even a little bitter........you will be letting yourself in for little 'digs' for years to come about how you chose 'his' birthday not hers.
have it on your own special day sweetie.
good luck
sierra blue
2006-11-08 18:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a great idea...... He will be honored.... Who knows if he would even make it to the wedding. On your wedding day you could make a special toast to your father because you loved him so much.!
That is a day you will remember FOREVER and I think that is a very special day.
2006-11-03 17:44:41 · answer #9 · answered by totallylovableandinlove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my (now ex) husband & I married on his mother's birthday- think she was happy enough about it- I didn't actually asked her
was mostly a convenient date for us & seemed like a good idea at the time
I am still on good terms with M-I-L 5 years after divorce
he will most probably be honoured that you want to do that - but he is the person you should be asking
2006-11-04 02:25:49 · answer #10 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On your anniversaries you want to celebrate your marriage but not while you are mourning your father. Honour him a different way.
After someone dies, the anniversary of their death and their birthday are difficult emotionally. Often, you can be sad in the weeks ahead without knowing why.
My birthday is one day off a loved one's death and it is bittersweet each year.
What would your mom think of it? I know it's your father but it is also her ex-husband. Yes, it's your day but I would be considerate of her too.
2006-11-03 16:46:35 · answer #11 · answered by Lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋