Ever love your girlfriend but feel like she isn't right for you?

Question

She's very affectionate and always tells me how much she loves me and can't live without me. We get along well enough, but isn't a laughing good time usually. It can get too serious.

One of my worries is a big intelligence gap. It's sad, but I doubt she can even accomplish her career goals because I lack faith in her abilities. In my opinion, she lacks many skills needed to make it in a professional career. She is struggling at our university (tier 2), but is likely to graduate with around a 2.5 gpa. I do well in school.

We are different in so many other ways, also.

I haven't had a ton of girlfriends, but I wonder if there will be someone who is a better match for me. I feel like we're an old married couple who are stuck in a relationship because we care for each other, but aren't meant for each other. We're on a break right now, and I am not enthused about meeting other girls. I am lonely without her. We talk and see each other often-- things still get physical.

Answer 1

It sounds like more of a dependency.... I suggest you break up with each other because it's really not going anywhere. If she knows you lack faith in her "abilities" and still continues to see you, she's definitely got some issues. A woman with self esteem wouldn't let her man doubt her like. She would expect him to support her and be proud of her. It does sound like she needs to get a boost of something. Perhaps it really is in her, but she is limiting herself. Perhaps she will blossom if she is "on her own" for a while. Finally, I offer this, any woman who can't live without a man, definitely has some problems. I'd run if I were you, she's very insecure and needs to grow up a bit.

You are too young to be stuck in a relationship like this, it is possible to care about her, and even love her, but not be in love with her.

Answer 2

Have you ever heard of the show Dawson's Creek? Your situation is very much the same as Dawson and Joey's on the show, they feel like thier soul mates all thier life, but it just never works out, they break up and get over each other then get back together, its the who thing the shows about in my opion, but even though they always got into fights and uncomfortalbe situations with each other, they always made though it together, evn when they were with someone else and very commeted to them they still new who thier true love was, although at the end they came to realize that even though they were true soul mates they could never be more then extremly close friends, even after all the years of loving each other and still having the strong feelings, i dont think it should have happened like that because everyone has thier obstacles and no ones perfect, so if you find the one who you love unconditionally you shpould hang on and never let go, so i think its normal to have your douts about the love you and your girlfriend have, and to think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you let something like love get away your risking your whole life, a life of feeling that no one ever loved you as much as she did and you will never love no one as much as you loved her, so keep what youve got and help her through the rough spots of her carrer major, be thier for her. You said you all still are physical, you said you all love each other deeply, so what are you waiting for, tell her how much you love her and never leave her again, you will regret it if she is you true LOVE!!!

Answer 3

Unfortunately, things like this happens.

It because you like her physically and share some mental and emotional bonds, but lack the compatibility for the long haul.

This is EXACTLY like me 99% of the time. I get to know someone and find that they aren't really compatible with me. Some people will say here it's because I look in the wrong places or look for the wrong things, but I don't think so. Since we aren't psychic and can't tell if someone is right for us, we just have to go bumping around to see if we accidentally run into one another.

That being said, even with some incompatibility issues there should be some compromise to be happy. That 99% of people are going to be in one way or another incompatible, and it takes giving in and taking on some of each other's quirks and deficiencies.

Take a close look at yourself and at her and see if there is a common ground of acceptance, if not, the best thing for you to do is to let her go and allow her to find someone who will make her happier.

Answer 4

Mankind is a greet mammal in this world (at least some is not), especially particular in love issue. For you case, I sure some of the people around the world do have the same experience as yours. But hey, if you really feel that she isn’t right for you from the beginning, why you still going for the relationship? Don’t tell me that you don’t know which one is the correct one for you. Exclude those love professional (“those date a lots”), everyone is trying to maintain a good relationship toward the other part. They care so they would spend time and effort to the relationship, but if you really do have to feel of “isn’t right” for you. You better reconsider the relationship, maybe your effort than spend is not more then her/him, so that you might feel there is a kind of guilty or feel that much toward to controlling you.
Think twice on the relationship, if you don’t really going for it, don’t drag it to long, not good for you and him/her.

Answer 5

You better leave her before you dig your ditch deeper. I was in the same situation and ended up having a child with a girl that I liked but didn't love. We were together for 3 yrs and when it came time to break it off it was really really hard since my daughter is an unconditional love of my life. We also took breaks and I wish it did end sooner but I am glad I have my daughter. I was lonely when I was single at first but you get over that. I have yet to still meet the "love of my life though"

Answer 6

Its hard to know who is right for you when you are young - heck, its hard at any age. I went though something similar to this when I was around your age and it turns out that the boyfriend turned out just great -- and a few weeks ago when I ran into him after not seeing each other for 15 years I realized I never stopped loving him, which is crazy and awful because we are both married with kids to other people (he does not feel the same way about me, he is in love with his wife). My point is maybe you should date other people but try and keap in touch with her as well to keep from making the mistake I did. If I had stayed in better touch with my high school bf as we both matured who knows - maybe we would be married with kids to each other today.

Answer 7

I have felt like that too. I was with my boyfriend of the time but I didn't want to be without him but then again I didn't want to be with him either. I have moved on since then and we still talk but I found someone so much better for me. sometimes you just have to go out on a limb and see what else is out there.

Answer 8

Of course!

You put her down several times in your little speach. If I am to go off just what you wrote. You don't sound like soul mates.
You know it is possible to have friends like her without being in a relationship.

Step back and make sure you talk to her. Doesn't sound like you want to go in the same direction.

Answer 9

You should talk to her about needing to see women, but tell her you still care about her. Get active in the school (honor societies etc.) and find someone you have more in common with.

Answer 10

sometimes people think the grass is greener on the other side but they just stop appreciating one another. I am not sure what you should do but make a list of pro's and con's about your life with and without her.