Why is my MIL like this?

Question

My MIL said we when have our baby she wants to buy the crib & wants my mom to go in halves with her. The problem is my mom is a single mom who is still trying to raise my 15 yr old sister & she isn't making much money so she is having a hard time herself. My MIL thinks it's bad that my mom can't help & she makes smart comments. When we got married my MIL was trying to say what my mom needed to pay for- I mean we are aware of the tradition where the brides's parents pay for the wedding gown, etc but if mom doesn't have the $ she doesn't have it ya know? y mom ended up helping right much because she got her tax money. But now, my MIL is acting the same way about the baby. I've told her before that mom is struggling but either she forgot or she don't care. If she had it she would do whatever I wanted her to because mom is a giving person. My husband's parents don't have any younger kids & they own their own business so she don't understand. How should I handle it if she starts again??

Answer 1

She is trying to show she is better than your mother. A lot of mother in law's are like that, its a competition to see who is the better parent. I would be careful though because you are going to have more problems than who is going to pay for the crib because I thing your mother in law is probably going to try to have more to do with the baby than your mother does. Its absolutely horrible and I dont think you should be handling this on your own. You need to talk to your husband and ask him to have a word to his mother. He needs to tell his mother in no uncertain terms what a lovely person your mother is and he doesnt appreciate her (his mother) trying to embarrass you by expecting your mother to do things she cannot afford. Your mother is probably 10 times nicer than this woman is because your mother has had to do it the hard way. Your husband is the key to all of this. You can say what you like to the mother in law, but she will listen more if it comes from your husband. You and your husband need to show a united front. You both have to stick together in this. I really feel for your mother because she would feel she is under the microscope trying to provide what the mother-in-law can provide. Your mother would feel so uncomfortable having these expectations placed on her already heavy financial burdon.

Your husbands mother should feel ashamed of herself...she is bragging and there is no need for that. Your husband needs to tell her that. You shouldnt have to tell your MIL that your mother is struggling again. She hasnt forgotten, she is just trying to rub salt into the wound by making your Mum to be less of a mother than this woman is. Like I said, your husband needs to tell your mother to stop behaving this way and tell her if she wants to buy the crib, then go right ahead, and if she cannot afford to buy it on her own then tell her you two will buy it. You dont need to be beholding to this woman at all. This would have to be affecting you because no-one likes their mother to be downgraded and that is what the MIL is doing. Your husband needs to know how this is affecting you and ask him to put a stop to it. Your husband should also understand that you are pregnant and you dont need all this extra stress, and when you analyse it, it is rather quite petty. Your mother-in-law seems like a very vindictive person.

Answer 2

I had two miscarriages in 2007 my husband and I certainly not informed any individual I was once pregnant so while it did occur we handiest needed to manage it ourselves. Unfortunately I was once admitted to clinic with the moment miscarriage as they concept it perhaps ectopic and my husband needed to inform his ***** mom as we wanted any person to shield our son. She was once crying and pronouncing good she must have recognized I was once pregnant (I was once handiest five weeks and simply learned myself) my possess mom didnt even understand. A few days later we went circular her apartment and she or he introduced that my husbands cousin was once pregnant and SHE had informed her mom instantly, couldnt care much less approximately my emotions and the truth Id simply misplaced a little one. Then approximately a month later we went out for my FIL birthday and given that shed had a drink she introduced all of it up approximately how she must have recognized and the way it made her suppose now not as soon as did she ask how I was once or how I felt. My husband and I attempted to inform her that none of it was once approximately her however it doesnt topic what it's she continuously turns it round so its approximately her she should be centre of concentration. She is a sequence smoker and smokes even as my son is consuming or even as hes sat on her knee. She offers him crisps and candies while she is aware of hes going to have his tea at dwelling. She is essentially a terrible individual that I ought to publish with for my husband.

Answer 3

MIL's are bitches....The man's mother's mostly.

To be honest-

Grown folks need to pay for their own weddings and they most certainly need to pay for their own children!!!

MIL needs to mind HER own business.

Answer 4

This is a problem. Your best bet is to have your husband say something. He might make her understand. Or maybe you talk to your father in law.
Or
Just tell her flat out to stop talking about your mother.
I have to do that to my in laws.It might make them mad but they will get over it.

Answer 5

I would just have to set ole' MIL down and have a few words! I wouldn't let it bother you to much........ I hate it when people are like that! UGH!

Answer 6

you should let her know that she should respect your mother and her private buisness unless she is gonna put money in your mothers pockets she should shut the hell up and worry about her own buisness