I don't want my son to grow up racist!?

Question

My husband and I have a 1 year old son. The problem is that my husband is really prejudice against Asian people. He really really dislikes Asian people. He tells me ALL the time that he is going to teach my son to hate Asians too. I don't want my son to be a racist. Before we had our child, my husband made little comments about Asian people before, but I just brushed it off, not thinking it is that serious. I am black and he is white, so we have diversity problems of our own, I want my son to grow up loving everyone, not just because of the color of their skin. It's sad because my son isn't even going to have a chance to get to know Asian people, he's just going to go by what his dad tells him. I have no problem with anyone, black, white, green, yellow or blue. What can I do? Other than that he is a wonderful dad. Any suggestions will help.

I have talked to him about this in fact we have gotten into so so so so so so many arguements over this, and he thinks he is right! I hate this so much, I don't think I should have to go through this.

Answer 1

i think that if, when your son gets older, you talk to him and tell him that asian people are good and they are just like other people, he will probably not be like his father. also you could tell him that his father is doing something bad by hating asians, but that might cause problems with your relationship.

hope that helps

Answer 2

I believe that you first need to convince your husband not all Asians are the same. He might have had a bad experience or two with Asians. I don't blame him. I even had some bad experiences with Asians here in Canada and I am an Asian (Japanese).

One day, I was shopping in town, was ready to pay for my purchase and heading for the cashier. Two young Philippine girls tackled me by "accident" because they were running so fast toward the cashier to get in in front of me. I had to tell them, "There is a reason I moved to a small town, you know?"

On the other hand, I know a Philippine couple living in the same town and they are caring and the nicest human can be. There was this suicidal person (Caucasian) and he had no job. This couple was buying him grocery for a while until he found a good job in oil field.

So, there you go. It doesn't matter where you are, there are nice people and there are idiots. You can show him my Yahoo 360. He might change his opinion about Asians.
;-)

Answer 3

That's sad. Your husband is not a wonderful dad if he is going to teach your son to have hatred in his heart. Hatred is ugly. You just need to teach your son to love everyone and to treat everyone like he wants to be treated. Don't let your husband rule over you and your son. You can still teach your son to be a good person. Most people who are racists and hate others have their own self esteem issues. If you loved yourself, why do you need to hate someone else for absolutely no reason other than skin color? What does someone get out of hating a whole race of people that has never done anything to them?

Answer 4

i am on your side. I am white my husband is also white but i have no prejudice against any one. ask your husband how he would feel if people are prejudice against your family because they are mixed. people are people no matter what race they are and should be treated with the same respect that you want. point out that even though he sees nothing wrong with a mixed family there are a lot of people who do and will tease your son for it. my father was a prejudiced person but i was able to make up my own mind on how to think about people. Give your son lots of love and show him that even though your husband has his opinions that yours are different. if you believe in god then he will guide you. good luck

Answer 5

That's a hard one. Your not going to win in his mind he was taught that from a child and never questioned it now those ideals are going no where. I was taught the same but questioned it and came to the conclusion that it was wrong. Your son will only know what you teach him. If your really worried about it and you want to keep the relationship I would just teach your son to question things. There are more holes in racism then Swiss cheese if you question it, it will fall apart. That is of course if the person is able to accept the answer when they find it. On more thing racism is allot like a plague it can get anyone regardless of how mature they are how much commonsense they have or there IQ. Racism has many excesses none of them are real.

Answer 6

I know sometimes when it comes to men it's like talking to a wall if it isn't what they want to hear, he is going to try and fill your sons head with the same beliefs as his own but as his other parent your entitled to what you want your son to believe also as he gets older do your best to teach him it's wrong to judge people without even knowing them just because of what race they are your husband should be a little more understanding being a white man married to a black women who probably has endured some racism himself so he should know it isn't right you are wonderful to want your son to be such a loving person keep enforcing that try to unteach him any negativity that your husband tries to teach him.be firm let your husband know it causes a real problem for you for him to want to teach your son such nonsense and if he loves and respects you which I'm sure he does he can come to a compromise that he is entitled to feel whatever he wants but it shouldn't be forced upon your son

Answer 7

Just make your opinion known to your son, like your husband will. And not necessarily in front of your husband, no need for arguing. The child just needs to be exposed to multiple viewpoints. It's not a guarantee that he'll come out okay but it is possible.

My father is very racist against just about everyone. My mother is fairly prejudiced against African Americans. Neither my sister or I are racist or even just prejudiced. But we spent a lot of time with a neighbor who became kind of like an adopted grandmother and without trying to beat it into our heads, just by being an example, my sister and I were able to see that not everyone was like my parents.

It drives my father nuts that my sister and I think everyone is a human being just like everyone else. :-) Hopefully, one day, your son will be able to do the same thing to his father. :-)

Answer 8

Well tell your husband that it is not right. tell him that it is not just his son he is both of yours. and if he refuses then just make sure to tell your son that it is not right and try to get him in contact with asains all through his life at day school or school or the mall make convo with them and all that show your son that they are normal ppl just like you and me. I hate to say it but tell your husband that it is not right your not racist against white ppl for inslaving blacks so he should not be racist. or you can turn the table on him. if he refuses cut out sex and do whatever it takes. because you are right racist are stupid ppl. he may be a good husband and father but the racist thing. but if in a while he still refuses you may have to bite the big one and tell him Enuff is enuff you refuse to have a raciest son and he is not allowed to teach your son that and that you will make your son be around asains all the time just so that your husband can get over it. good luck and May God be on your side.

Answer 9

Tell him that he is wrong. He married someone of a different race....why doesn't he under stand the fact that we are all the same.

Try to find out what it is that he doesn't like about them....is it their looks, the way they dress, how they are portrayed in movies and on TV....find the root of the issue...And never ever let him say thise things in front of your son or he will grow up to be just like his father

Ask your hubby to how he would feel if someone was to call your son something racial....or HATED your son because of the color of his skin. Or you for that matter...is he protective of you and your heritage? Tell him that that is how parents and husbands of asian people feel too.

No one gets to choose their parents....but the parents can choose what type of parents they are to the children they bring into this world.

God Bless you and your family......honey if worst comes to worst this is definatly grounds for a divorce or seperation. Sadly....you have a few things to figure out and decisions to make.

Answer 10

I am an Asian woman, and I commend you for coming out the the virtual 'internet' world to admit that your husband is a racist. It is extremely heartbreaking for me to hear that he has such animosity towards asian or ANY race for that matter, considering he's married to you. One thing that I would remind him, is that his son is bi-racial. As you can probably relate, being a minority is tough enough in this world. Remind him how there are others out there who hate black people, and this could be directed towards your son, one way or another. Until it touches him personally, he'll never understand why hate is such an evil thing. Im not going to say that your husband is stupid, or dumb, but rather ignorant. Ignorance breeds hate, and its just too bad he plans to breed that further. Good Luck, and bless you.

Answer 11

Racism is wrong! Please speak to your husband about this and put your foot down on the issue. Your son should not be taught Hate. If he teaches this child hate, he is abusing him. I would take my child to Asian themed places and teach him about the culture. Both the good and the bad. Your son should be able to form his own opinions. All races have some good and some bad, so what makes your husband any better? Hopefully, he will change his views and not choose to abuse your son