well my mom called by brother and were talking about kids and how my brother should take care of is baby and things like that, well I dont know how I got in the pix but they were talking about my parenting skills, I dont have any kids yet but have taken care of some kids and now I find my self taking care of my brothers kid while I study and I do so well and wonder y? my mom would talk bad about me? I dont know really much about her or each other that well, I took off when I came out 10 years and shes judges me from back in the days but I was a bad child, I didnt have it easy being gay and finding my self I have grown so much and have changed in so many ways and I feel like I dont have to prove my self at all. should I tell here to get off my *** or try to understand where shes coming from?
2006-11-03 07:36:37 · 26 answers · asked by fernied_eve 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She may never understand, but it's your life. If you feel in your heart that you'll be a good parent, then you will. Straight people are crappy parents all the time! Your mom is being one right now!
2006-11-03 07:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't let your mom judge your parenting skills based on how you were as a child or even because you're gay... First of all just because you're gay doesn't mean you're going to be a bad parent it's all about how good of a person you are and the love that you have for your kids... just because you were a bad kid when you were young doesn't mean that you're like that now, you grow up and that's in the past... I think you're mom is really messed up to talk about you behind your back and so negatively because you're gay, she obviously has a problem with this so maybe you should talk to her about this confront her if it really bothers you so that the relationship between you and your mom isn't so tense or conflictive... good luck and don't let this stop you if you really want to have kids cause i know that's a big deal in a persons life...
2006-11-03 07:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by sadgreeneyes3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's clear your mother doesn't respect you at all. Part of this is because she hasn't spoken to you for long (as I gather), part of this is because she feels she has failed in your upbringing and is putting the blame on you. Sadly this happens a lot with parents whose kids are gay. The fact that you gave her a hard time 10 yrs ago should not mean that you haven't changed, but she seems unwilling to take that into account.
The important thing is: do you think your parenting skills are good? And: does your brother think your parenting skills are good? If both answers are 'yes', most of your problems are over. If you feel your mother criticizes about you, tell her, or your brother that you want her to say this to your face (or your ear), and if she doesn't want to do that she should shut up. She can't judge what she doesn't see, so she shouldn't.
Incidentally, I don't question your ability at parenting, but you could make things easier to read to brush up your skills on punctuation and using capitals.
2006-11-03 07:46:57 · answer #3 · answered by Jaco K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents are like that. They like to nose in and judge what you do, simply because they love you and don't want to see you screw up (even though that is a part of life). You should try to understand them in that sense, but in another sense, it is your own life and you are free to make whatever move you want.
It's only my opinion, but being gay will do nothing for your child except make them more tolerant of individuals different from them. A child of gay parents does not "become" gay, as being gay is not a choice. Others say that gay individuals do not value family and stable relationships like straight people do, but that is also a bunk stereotype. There are plenty of straight parents whose tumultuous relationships throw their children's lives into chaos. As long as you provide a stable, loving home for a child, you will see them grow into good human beings. If your family cannot understand that, then perhaps you are better off without their input.
2006-11-03 07:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her to back off. Look how messed up straight parents have made their kids. Gay parents are more open minded and are more accepting to their childrens' choices. People think that gay men and women shouldn't be parents, but I totally disagree.
I think that your mother would question your parenting skills beacuse she subconsiously still doesn't agree with your lifestyle. I think that if you want to be a parent and you think that you can handle being responsible for another human, then more power to you! Good Luck!
2006-11-03 07:42:54 · answer #5 · answered by lion75 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would try to understand where she's coming from just so that discussion lines are always open with her. Conversely, sexual orientation rarely affects how good you are as a parent...good parenting skills come from something much different. You have to be a good person to be a good parent...and good people come from all walks of life. My dad is gay and I wouldn't trade him for any other dad in the world!
2006-11-03 07:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its great that you wanna put yourself in her shoes and try to understand where shes coming from, but.. LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE!! who cares what she thinks. if she cant accept you for bein gay, then i say screw her. A mother should love her kids unconditionally, and you should really tell her that your parenting skills are quite sound or else why would your brother be asking you to take care of thei kid?? Id say from what I see in this situation, you're a better parent than your brother.
2006-11-03 07:58:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
weather you are gay or straight doesn't determine the kind of parent you would be it's the kind of person you are not weather you prefer men or women that has nothing to do with it I know single mothers that are excellent parents I know lesbians that are excellent parents I know foster parents that even though it's not their biological child they are still great parents I know single dads that are excellent parents sexuality has nothing do do with it it's loving caring nurturing and taking care of your children the best you can not weather your gay or straight you should explain that to your mom dont let anyone put you down you cant change whats in your heart and you shouldn't have to you are who you are and no one has the right to tell you that that makes you bad or makes you any less capable then someone who is straight
2006-11-03 07:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get off your ***. Tell her if you are a bad parent it's because you were raised by one (don't hate me please). She shouldn't talk bad about you because you are gay. You take care of your brother's kid, and you do a good job at that. She needs to look at the big picture and not just your sexual orientation.
2006-11-03 07:42:02 · answer #9 · answered by Pinky Dinky Doo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to prove anything to her. I know people that are gay that are better parents than some people that are not gay. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with how good of a parent they are. As long as the children have love and discipline they will be fine.
2006-11-03 07:41:42 · answer #10 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no understanding where she is coming from. How can she judge you when it's your brother not stepping up to the plate. i commend you for taking that responsibility, It's not easy and with studies and all. yes tell her to f*** off but not in those words. you still have and show respect to her because she is your mother even though she doesn't show it to you. she will have to be accountable for that in the end
Good Luck
and hang in there it will be alright no matter how much it hurts :)
2006-11-03 07:48:03 · answer #11 · answered by keyab 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋