Me and my ex broke up a few months ago but did not know i was pregnant. When i found out i was i sadly miscarried which was a few weeks ago. I told my ex and he was there for me through everything. We were both very hurt by this and he told me he would have loved me to be the mother of his child. About an hr ago we had an arguement over the phone and he told me he wanted me out of his life for good BECAUSE i bring him bad memories. When i asked what bad memories (because he caused all the pain and break up) he said because i would have been the mother of his child which he would have hated and he was over the loss of our baby. What do you think? Was this out of order?
2006-11-03 07:23:35 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i'm going to answer this just cause I can
Sounds like he loves you to me...
2006-11-03 07:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Can you say "excuses"? You said he gave conflicting statements about loving you to be the mother of his child then about hating the child you would have been the mother of. I know you are not over the loss, so if he had cared about you and had a "real" bond with you then he would not be over it quite yet- even if he doesn't cry over it. Maybe that is a bad memory, but he doesn't sound as if he knows what he wants and you are better off letting him go experiment with someone else while you find someone more mature and stable.
2006-11-03 07:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by bellgoddess1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to the ex-boyfriend for being there!!!He has a lot of emotions going through him right now; as do you. Maybe he is hurt because of the miscarriage.. I would give him a little space to give him time to think. Ask yourself; Do you really want to be with this guy? I think the two of you should, sit down and talk about what happened. Maybe both of you should go to a medical professional, and seek some guidance as to how to cope with the loss. Work beyond the hurt first, together. Then work on getting the relationship back on more stable ground. If this is what you both want to do.
This is only my opinion.
2006-11-03 07:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just trying to cope with the death of the baby in his own way.By lashing out at you. Right now he's trying to push all bad memories away and that includes you. I'd leave him alone for now and maybe in a few months he'll act civily towards you. You can't force him to be bothered with you, you all did break up. Just try to cope with the pain as best you can and move on with your life and when he's ready he'll apologize.
2006-11-03 07:27:24 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys can be scum and they often say things they dont mean. at the time of the miscarriage he may have said those things to make you feel better but not becasue me he ment it. it could also be the other way around, he could have ment that you would have been a good mother for his kid adn only said those harsh words out of anger over the phone. give him a couple of days to cool down adn then talk to him and find out whats up or just forget about him all together(i mean you 2 broke up, there was obviously a problem to spark that) good luck and i am sorry to hear about the miscarriage... :-(
2006-11-03 07:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it was out of order. But why dwell in it? He wants things to be over with so the best thing that you can do is give him what he wants and move on. It was very unfortunate to have loss your baby but you have to move on (away from him). In time he will come around (if that is what you want) but for right now just let it be.
2006-11-03 07:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by shellese2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Way out of order!! So sorry about your miscarriage but things happen for a reason and God is trying to tell you .....THIS is the reason. Be thankful you aren't the mother of his child and cut all ties with this guy, you will be so glad you did in the future, I promise. Good-luck!
2006-11-03 07:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by Mustang Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was definetly insenstive about it. But lets face the truth here and move on. I am sure he does not exactly bring you happy memories either. Maybe you should join a support group for people that have had misscarages so that you may relate to other women.
As for that jerk, erase him from your life.
2006-11-03 07:25:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is just hurting and confused. I don't see the 2 of you getting back to gether, but he should not treat you that way. A lot of times in greif situations, people look for someone to blame. As far as miscarriages go, there is likely no blame at all to go around, so he is blaming you to try to make himself fell better. Its the grief talking, i promise. Just let him go and go find a support group for yourself.
2006-11-03 07:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by Rum_Punch_Girlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing to do. Obviously he did not want a baby with you. You are lucky that things happened the way they did. Go on with your life - without him - and be very very careful about not getting pregnant in the future unless you are married. I know how that sounds, but for heaven's sake, get a committment before you ruin your life with another unplanned pregnancy!
2006-11-03 07:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That was a vicious thing to say. You broke up before you even knew about it. Regardless of that it was a nasty, hurtful thing to say. I think you need the time now to heal yourselfand get on with your life. Good luck hun.
2006-11-03 07:27:13 · answer #11 · answered by minitheminx65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋