Did I dissrespect the Dojang? :( Honest question...?

Question

So last night I was teaching a class to some of the lower belts before my master got to class. We warmed up like usual but instead of the normal kick and punch this.... I taught some ground technique. Well I was paired up with this girl in class that I kinda have a long history with. She is one of my best friends and there has always been a good amount of sexual tension between us. Nothing serious and I am a respectful guy. I have only slept with 2 women in my life and I am 24 (yea sad I know) but I love this girl to pieces.

This is too long so I will add the rest of the story in details...

We have remained friends for fear that our relationship and the school might suffer if we were more than friends. OK so on to my issue. So we are doing some guars slips and arm bar holds. I am on top of her and of course we joke a bit. I am in the mount (lol now that I look back) and she is trying to fight with me. Well the fighting was ok, but I could see her thong through the gi and that made me lose concentration. To make it worse she saw that I saw! Well let’s just say that when a man gets turned on we all know what happens. Her eyes got big and she started to smile at me. We obviously changed position so I didn’t pitch a damn tent in class but it was funny anyway. Well after master Lee got there and we had our normal class, she was really flirty the entire time. I love this girl and I am sure she loves me as well. Neither of us wants a relationship in our lives right now so that's what made this hard.

Well after class we always close down the Dojang. Being a senior student it is my job to mop the mat, clean and sweep the place and lock up. I usually do this in my dobok and shower there because it’s just easier than going home tired at 9:45 at night. She stayed to help me out like she always does and I told her to finish sweeping the front and that I would just see her tomorrow. She said ok and told me to drive safe. Well I am in the shower doin my thang, when I hear a door shut. I just figured it was Kammy leaving so I didn’t do anything. When I got out of the shower (no towel cause NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THER.) She was standing there. She didn’t say anything and I scrambled to get my clothes. Its not like we haven’t had awkward moments before but damn girl that's my dong you’re staring at! She had that “ya know” look on her face and we kinda made out, me minus any clothes lol. I will make this as PG as possible but we ended up having sex in the shower room.

She is kinda rowdy so we went from there to the mat. It was really hot seeing as it’s a studio with windows on all sides! Granted It was pitch black but still! Anyway we finished “doing our thing” and lay there on the mat for a bit. No one said anything at first and then she started to laugh… then I did. Well long story short we took a shower… “Yea… that happened again” and then went on our way. She texted me this morning like she always does saying “morning loves!”. Like I said, we have a history…. But completed it last night. Well here is my question… since I let my idiotic part of my body dictate my actions last night…. The shower room was one thing… but sex on the mat? Was that disrespectful to the Dojang? I honestly feel bad about it ONLY for that reason. I asked Kamm’s about it this morning and she said that's why she was laughing…. Because now every time we grapple in that spot she will ask “haven’t we been here before?”.

Now nothing awkward is between us or anything… but did I just diss the school big time?

Tony: Thank you, but It wasn't really one of my "to do" things for today...

GreenGrasshopper: Well my dear, if you read you would understand that I said we didnt want a relationship right now.... it kinda just happend. And we are both ok with it. I would never do anything to hurt her feelings.

Answer 1

Daayyummit Man!!

Yeah I gotta say gettin freaky on the Mats was a touch much there.

In the shower/locker room no I don't see a problem with it (and easier to get rid of the "evidence" if you know what I mean), and it's good that you feel bad about you two gettin busy on the mats in the middle of the training area. I just think it's a little more along the lines of disrespecting the Master instructor/owner of the school because he trusts you quite a bit to let you lock up/clean up after class.

just be glad your instructor (or any of the other students) didn't forget somethin and come back to catch you two.

and no I wouldn't tell anybody and I mean ANYBODY about it, keep it on the low low between you and her; because holy scnikes that'd be some s**t to deal with if it ever got back to the master instructor/owner of the school.

but from a guy's pov 2 thumbs up, and I gotta agree with spidertiger, that is a true dream.

man, am I envious.

Answer 2

Holy Cow! There are a lot of answers here.....
First it is odd because in our school the lower ranks have to the daily cleaning tasks while the senior students work the forms.
Anyway, what you did is a dirty little secret. I would suggest that you keep it a secret.
No one is hurt by your actions yet. If it is kept quiet then this will continue to be true.
The second anyone finds out about this, you are toast!
Yes, you did disrespect the school and the trust of your teacher. Although, if I was a student there I would not be too upset with your actions.
On a personal note what you did is a dream for many students....

Answer 3

In the shower, no.

I don't think that there is any special "respect" you pay to the gym that you don't owe to the other students or the owner/teacher of the gym.

I don't think it was disrespectfull to the other students because it happened in the shower, not in a place where they roll/workout- that would be just BAD.

As far as the owner/teacher goes, well, that might have been a little disrespectful to him. It depends on his personality. The dojang is his office if his attitude is "cool get some" then it is not disrespectful. If his attitude was that he would be insulted, and you broke a bond of trust with him because he left you there alone and thought that that was inappropriate then you did. A lot depends on his expectations and sensibilities.

It wouldnt' be the "kwoon" you disrespected, the kwoon is just wood, bricks and drywall without your instructor.

Answer 4

It's been a long time, but I remember bowing before entering the dojo, as if the hall and tatami mats were deserving of respect. So yes, it is a special place.

But it's not like you did anything to desecrate the Dojang. No crime was committed. Instead, it sounds like you two may be in love. To me, the world needs more of that.

Answer 5

Yes I take a look at my great to be sincere at all times. The best manner you're making matters higher is by way of telling the reality wait I informed you I continuously you need to be sincere? Im mendacity correct now lol... jk But sure I you need to be sincere at all times Poll: YFFL=Yankees Fan For Life

Answer 6

I honestly do not think you've disrespected the dojahng, but that sure sounds like a tough moral question. I don't think I'm qualified to answer. I wouldn't do it a second time if it caused that much doubt. That s just my opinion, if it helps.

Answer 7

Don't worry. As long as no one know, it's none of their business. On other hand be very careful! What if you two end up have problem in the future? I have saw this stuff happen and oh man it could get ugly! So be very caution.

Answer 8

I have to say yes. Esp on the mat. I agree with not telling the master. Beyond that, be friendly towards this girl, but no more unless you really do want a relationship.

Answer 9

It isnt a temple of celebacy. you did a natural thing, let it remain that way, no shame, no offense.

I agree that you should keep it between you both, for it is your personal memory.

I wouldnt advise doing it again there, find somewhere else where you can be free.

Answer 10

Um, who cares? What about the girl. If you "love" her why not have a relationship? Casual sex is bad.

But honestly, this is why it's a bad thing for girls and guys to grapple.