i miscarried.....?

Question

I am 19 and miscarried at the age of 18 last January... It was rough at first that was pregnant but we were all looking forward to it. I lost the baby after 13 weeks and it is still so hard to wake up everyday knowing my baby would be here with me if it didn't happen... i no i shouldn't think that way, and I no it could have been worse but its just so hard....What can i do to get my mind away from it? I just can't wait to be a mom....

Answer 1

Realise that you are allowed to feel that way. You have to let yourself feel these things. Your lost baby will always be a part of you, there is no denying this, but you have your own special angel looking over you.

Have you had any counselling for your bereavement? It might help, and you may be given different thought techniques to get through this hard time.

I wish you all the best and I hope that you get the chance to be a mom soon!

Answer 2

I miscarried at 18 weeks when I was 22 (two days before my birthday, the day before we were supposed to find out the sex). Just now, a little over a year later it's still hard to think about, especially when all your friends are starting to have children. I am not a religious person and everyone grieves in thier own way, but everything happens for a reason, who is to say that the miscarriage didn't prevent you having a child born with terrible health problems that would lead them to years of suffering. No one can say anything to help your grieving, I still think about my little guy everyday, but everyday it gets easier.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage too early in my marriage. I cried for weeks, especially when my due date came around. What I did was focus on "How can I make my home life better for when I do have a baby?" I started working more to save money so that I could buy neat things for when I did have a baby. I also worked more to get safer furniture. I actually put back enough and paid enough bills off that I was able to stay home full time the first year of my baby's life, and I'm still only working 1 or 2 days a week and my children are now 7 and 3. It took 3 years for me to get pregnant again after that miscarriage, but God was looking out for us. God knew when the perfect time was to bring my children into the world. Keep your head up. You will get your chance.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you. I miscarried triplets at 15 weeks last december. You are young and really should wait a few more years. I know that it is hard, but it will get better...I promise. Someday you will become a mom and it will be just perfect. In the meantime, join a support group or get some counseling. You really should wait until you have healed from this ordeal to become pregnant again. Take care of yourself and try to do things now that you won't be able to do once you have a baby.
Good luck in the future!

Answer 5

If you did not have a mourning period for you and for your child, then maybe some sort of service or remembrance, Have friends and family engage with you so you may begin to start your recovery.

Losing a child can be devastating no matter what stage in life. Seeing a counselor a few times would certainly help. Just being able to say things aloud can change your life.

You are very young and if healthy, have at least 21 years to bring an angel onto this earth. Take your time. Remember, the more lessons we go thru in life, the more inner knowledge we are able to offer our children from the very beginning of their life.

Answer 6

find a support group. there are tons of yahoo groups for mothers who have lost children. Its a terrible thing (I miscarried last year at 19 weeks) and you will always carry some sadness with you, but your time to be a mother will come. Wait until you are married and happy, then have another try. God bless and good luck!

Answer 7

It's hard, and you will always wonder in the back of your mind, how old the baby would be today, and what your life would have been like with the baby, but in the end you will get up and you will move on.. you will always live with the feelings and wonders but it will get easier to live with them as time goes on (you will never forget, it will just be easier to live with)- you'll see and one day you will have one or more kids and it will help with the feeling of loss also..... just take it one day at a time.. do things to get your mind off of it, when you start thinking about it, talk about your feelings with your husband or boyfriend.... it will get easier.. I promise

Answer 8

YOu should probably join a support group. I know there are many that have message boards/chat rooms/listservs, etc, as well as physical meetings. You'd be surprised the number of women who have come through this traumatic experience, some more than once. My best friend just lost her baby 2 months ago and has found a lot of support through her church and an online support group.

Answer 9

its a really tough thing to go through, and i'm sorry u had to but over 75% of all women will have at least one miscarriage in their life. That little one apparently decided he or she wasnt ready to meet you just yet. I dealt with my 2 miscarriages by just convincing myself that each time i got pregnant after that it wouldnt be the same exact baby but just maybe it would be the same soul...I know it sounds crazy but it worked for me, you must grieve for your loss cry about it it helps and dont be discouraged mother hood is a great thing but sometimes I wish (this sounds horrible) I could go back to when I was just a young lady to party w/ my friends whenever I wanted or just get up and go do what I wanted...best of luck

Answer 10

It sounds like you may be suffering from Post-partum depression...this can happen after a miscarriage or still-birth. I lost my baby girl in Aug at 21 weeks and my due date is approaching next month and I know it's going to be hard. My doctor put me on Zoloft for PPD and it made a huge difference.