Please help...I don't know how to handle this..?

Question

O.k well im a single mother of two...My son is 7 yrs old and my daughter will be two next month..Well her daddy isn't really in the picture only when he feels like being a dad for them he comes around..Anyways lastnight my daughter was in her room playing with her toys and i was cleaning ...Well when i walked by her room i saw he kissing her doll...I thought it was cute at first but when i kept walking by i saw her pretty much makingout with it( mouth open and all)...I couldn't belive she was doing that shes only going to be 2 yrs old and i don't find it very normal..I don't have a boyfriend and i never bring guys to my house ever...So i'm wondering where could she have seen that...Then while i was watching her she started to lift up her shirt and rubing her tummy ...I didn't know what to do...So i called her into my room and took the doll away... I really need help is this normal for a two year old to do this??? What should i do if there's a next time ??? I'm really freaking out

Answer 1

It could be a TV show. It could be curiosity. IT could be something she saw when outside...

but it could be something much more serious. You should definitely try to talk to her. Ask her where she saw that kind of kissing. Ask her if there is anyone who ever rubs her tummy like that. Just dont ignore it!

Answer 2

Why did you take the doll away. Children learn mostly from watching, maybe she saw it on TV. You don't say whether her dad is allowed to have unsupervised access or not.

Rubbing her tummy is innocent enough why is that freaking you out? I don't get it, she was kissing her doll, if you are with her all the time then you know nothing happened to her right? If you don't trust the dad then don't leave them alone. Why didn't you ask her what she was doing to her baby, by taking the doll away she may now think she was doing something wrong when in fact it may be perfectly innocent.

Pay more attention but don't freak out children pick up those vibes also watch your seven year old's play and he is old enough to tell you all about his outings with dad and so on, just be innocent about it and don't make a big deal out of anything in front of the children. Seek help in your community on patterns and signs of children being abused, educate yourself this is the best way to protect your children. Good luck.

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry too much, I have a daughter who is 3 shed was busted dropping her undies to the boys in her play group, I didn't make a bid deal over it then, once she was alone I had a talk to he explaining that nice little girls don't do this sort of thing and that it was a bit naughty. She hasn't done it since. I think kids this age have so much learning happening that they absorb all sorts of things, it could have been a quick scene on TV which she saw which inspired her to try it out. I would take the doll back to her explaining that only grown ups kiss like that and nice girls don't kiss their dolls or little boys. Don't make a big deal out of it with her and I'm sure you will find she will listen to you. Stop Stressing!

Answer 4

Recently my 4 yr old son was seen doing weird behavior and freaked me out a bit. The main thing is to talk to her and find out where she learned it. If the answer is no where, she may just be experimenting and the doll seemed like a good way to do it. She could have seen it on t.v. or seen someone kissing at the mall or somewhere. I asked my son if another grown up taught him that and if he played that game with a grown up. As long as you keep your tone normal and she knows she isn't in trouble for it she will be willing to answer questions.

Answer 5

you should definitely address it. Don't just ignore this because it could be something serious. At the same time don't get yourself all bent out of shape before you know the facts either because she'll be able to sense that and may then feel uncomfortable about it. Next time, sit next to her and instead of getting angry try playing along with her and ask questions like "what game is this that we're playing?" "who showed you how to play it?" If she can't talk very well or at all, I suggest that you don't leave her alone with ANYONE you aren't 100% comfortable with, just to be safe. Just as it may have been something she viewed on tv or saw someone else doing in person, the worst case would be that someone "taught" her this game. What's most important is that you keep your head on straight for her sake and address each issue as it comes as calmly as possible. Easier said than done, I know...but just think of how important she is and always expect the best but plan for the worst. You'll stay one step ahead that way.

Answer 6

She's mimicking something she saw. Maybe on a movie or from daddy. Investigate and find out where she saw it. Remove the variable that caused her curiosity (ex. hide movie, talk to dad about it, avoid watching soap operas around her etc.) Then once you know the source you'll have a better ground to stand on when explaining it to her. But don't get graphic, she's only two LOL! Just say something like dolly is to young to do things like grown ups do and so are you. Play and have fun and just be a little girl.

Answer 7

Masturbation is normal for kids. I remember doing it as young as when I was 6, and I know even babies do it. During the Voctorian era in England, they had created devices to prevent babies to masturbate (and teens as well).. It was pure torture, actually.

Not sure about the kissing thing, but it could be normal as well, above all if she has seen something on TV or people kissing on the streets. She probably is not even putting the tongue.

Are you worried that her dad has done something to her? You should then look out for other signs, more hiddens things, maybe. I'm not a specialist, though, I wouldn't know exactly what to look for. I'm sure you can have info by either seeing a doctor, or maybe by calling a helpline for people who have been abused. They'll probably give you info. But as far as I know, it's normal.

Ok, personal "incident": I used to give blow-jobs to my neighbour! Don't worry, we were both 7! We also tried to kiss, but had no idea how to do it (it didn't occur to us to put the tongue!)! I had never watched a porn, and I'd never heard my parents do it! It's just somehting natural - although I'm sure that, if my parents had known about it, they would have bit quite concerned!!! I would have been!!! What I want to say is that children have some sort of sexuality of their own, which is not acknowledged by parents. That's one of the reasons why you shouldn't walk around naked all the time in front of them (it's just an example). They tend to have their own interpretation of things. And they do experience sexual pleasure. It's normal, as long as adults are not involved!

Anyway. Just look out for other signs. It's probably nothing, but it's good that you're concerned.

(If she does it in her bedroom, when she is alone, it's fine. No need to talk to her about it. But if she does it in front of other people, tell her that's not something that other people need to see)

Answer 8

Do you leave her with other people sometimes? She may have picked this behavior up from someone else or maybe even television. A friend of mine discovered that her 2 year old son was getting up in the middle of the night and watching the Playboy channel.

Answer 9

What TV shows is she allowed to watch? Were you possibly watching something on TV yourself that had people kissing? Even if your kids are in the room with you and you don't think that they are paying attention to the TV, they are. They are like little sponges, they soak up everything they see.

Answer 10

Kids go through a "naked phase" where they enjoy taking their clothes off. Perfectly normal. But the kissing part is a little worrisome. She saw that somewhere. You sound like a good mom so we know it's not from you. Sounds like Dad.