we both are friends first then lovers then her parents planned to marry with some one , then we decided be as friends then some time later im decided that i cant live without her, now she loves me too now she is engaged she is going to marry some one with the force of her parents she is going marry, now no contacts between us, i dont know how if she is, I love her alot and i miss her alot now what can i do iam confussing please help me..
2006-11-03 06:39:28 · 20 answers · asked by softer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
FIND HER!!! If you love her take action do SOMETHING! You will regret it forever if you dont find her, if you are sure you love each other get married forget what her parents think.
2006-11-03 06:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by saraikyon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was a wedding planner and THIS EXACT situation came up. We got the gentleman in touch with the couple's minister who was to marry them ASAP.
He (without revealing what he knew from us) had counselling sessions with each of them privately and one with the couple together.
During the girl's session he said "I sense that you are somewhat ambivalent about this upcoming marriage. Is there something more you need to tell me - it wil go no further." After a few tears she spilled her guts.
In the end, the minister told the couple that he had great reservations about the marriage and would not be able to marry them. In between the sessions, he called both parental couples (did it that way so that the kids wouldn't know about it) and told them to arrive at the church. Girl's parents at 3 pm; Boy's parents at 3:30 pm. Then he met with the entire group and told them that he was not comfortable marrying them because there were "unresolved" issues that he picked up on, but would comment no further.
They all left. Then he had the jilted lover show up at the church at 5 pm. He called the bride at 4:30 and asked her to return because he was certain an item had fallen out of her purse and wanted to make sure she would get it back.. WE SAT AND PRAYED THAT SHE'D EVEN ANSWER THE PHONE, LET ALONE SHOW UP. She did!! Then he took her into his office to retrieve the "item" (there was no item so he did have to lie, but he felt it would be forgiven!) and the other man was seated there. THE LOVE BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM WAS AS CLEAR AS A BELL and he told them that he had "plotted" to get them back together.
A number of meetings were held with the former lover, the girl, the couple together and her parents alone, the parents with her and the parents with the couple.
In the end, the new couple was happily married!!
If you can find the minister, priest, rabbi, etc. CALL HIM/HER immediatly. It certainly might not work - but it will never hurt to do so. BEST WISHES!
2006-11-07 06:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you able to contact her? If so, tell her how you feel and ask her if she feels the same about you. You need to find this out for sure. If you can't contact her, try contacting her parents. Tell her father or mother that you don't mean to upset the family but that you love this girl so much and you believe she loves you back and that to marry someone else would be a lifelong mistake. Most parents want their children to be happy - at the very least they will think seriously about this and talk to her about it. Make sure that you let them know how they can contact you if they need to or to pass on to their daughter.
All that said, it may be that this girl is all right with marrying her parent's choice. If, after you've talked to her about your feelings, she still plans to go ahead with this marriage then, as painfull as it is, you must respect her wishes. Good Luck!
2006-11-03 06:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by zenobia2525 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make one last attempt to contact her if you are certain , you love her that much. Tell her about what you feel. If she loves you enough too, then she will opt to come with you...but you know what, "love" is not really "the birds and the bees" thing...It takes two people to make an effort to maintain and nurture that love, if it has to survive. That's the real world. Couples should make it their choice to keep the love alive, it takes hard work. But, when you truly love someone, love conquers all. You don't care about tomorrow, you just want to be with her and any hardships would be welcomed as long as you are with her. If that is how you feel, then what are you doing ,still asking advices from us. Go get your girl. Now if you don't feel that way, then walk away and find someone else who will make you feel that way.
2006-11-04 11:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really love her, and it is sincere. BUt what type of love she has for you?
Are you well settled? earn enough?are you able to carry the responsibility of married life?
There are such questions which are very important . The girl is getting married under pressure, so it is clear that she doesnt have courage to convince her parents, or , may be her parents know about you , but they dont want to get their daughter married to you. First ask your self whether you are 100% ready to step into married life?? Mere loving is not enough, Love fails when 'practical problems' crop up in married life.
AND if you are well settled and prepared to get married, go to her house, talk/discuss with her parents and propose for marriage.
Better accept the realities and do accordingly.
2006-11-04 05:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by manjira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all i think that this i really sweet. And that is it sucks that she is following what her parents say. if she loves someone and they love her back then they should realize that is who their daughter is really and truely happy with and just let her do as she pleases. But i think that you need to find some way to get in touch with her and tell her that she shouldnt have to follow through with what her parents are making her do. She is a grown woman and she can make her own choices... and her parents just need to wake up and smell the coffee and maybe they really love their daughter then they will respect her wishes and respect you too. but thats just what i think!
2006-11-03 06:51:25 · answer #6 · answered by URKA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be returned. right here i'm. i don't comprehend how previous the two one among you're, yet once you're extremely mature then you definately ought to do what's you (the two) think of is the desirable for you. You pronounced "desire to be with him", does this propose you're planing a marriage in close to destiny. first of all you are able to't do something by potential of your self, he must be in touch additionally. indexed under are the "Q?" the two ought to ask and somewhat answer. are you able to help your self? merely 21 years previous and out of faculty or college isn't seen mature. some mature very early say at 9 years, some mature around 30 years some mature around some cases after 30 years and a few in no way mature. one and all thinks they are mature adequate yet one and all isn't mature in some approaches which includes me. this could be a stearn certainty of existence. What approximately faith of the offspring's? Do you have place to stay? you think of the two dad and mom will different than you later whilst they see which you're doing nicely, are happy and are able to deal with the problems of a interracial marriage? And despite different issues which you the two think of of.......... Marriage isn't consumer-friendly in maximum nicely experience love affair variety or arranged variety cases. Interracial regularly has greater burdens to handle. the dad and mom have, usually, proper activity of their infants on their recommendations and coronary heart and are guided by potential of their instincts....... i'm able to pass on and on and on... yet adequate pronounced. relax is as much as you 2.
2016-12-28 11:56:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only valid reason to get married is love... and this is applicable in almost 90% of the world... Remember the song... all you need is LOVE
2006-11-04 22:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by 1889 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a lawyer.
No one must be pressured.
Few days ago there was a Q? from a girl. But....she was complaining that boy does not take no for an answer.
2006-11-03 06:52:37 · answer #9 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO GET HER...DON"T let her marry soem guy that she dotn' love she is going to be miserable for the rest of her life..man don't let her do it...GO AND GET her..her parents will get over it..just go..don't let her do it...stop it before it happens...u know you love her and u wnat to spend the rest of you life with her..man she's going to be so much happier if she's with you then some prearranged marriage..
2006-11-03 09:36:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋