What is the funniest thing you have ever said to telesales/marketing on the phone?

Question

I had someone laugh at me when I said I didn't want additional life insurance so I yelled at him 'don't laugh at me, you patronising b***ard' and hung up. Yesterday my sister had a call from a number that has been calling her 3 times a day and not talking. They finally answered her and she said 'oh you're finally going to talk now?' she ripped them a new one then when they said she didn't qualify for the 'offer' they were making she replied with 'good maybe you'll finally stop ringing me!' and hung up.

Answer 1

1) tell them you have AIDS.

2) tell them that whatever they are selling, you'll take TWO. Then casually mention that you are unemployed.

3) tell them that you do not own the house, you're actually a tenant. This REALLY scares them.

4) ask what colour underwear they are wearing. ( regardless of whether the're male or female)

I have used all the above successfully.

Answer 2

I used to live in a very secluded cottage way up a single track lane among woodlands. I kept getting calls from a double glazing company, I explained that the property was listed and I didn't actually own it. Would not go away - asked for name of landlord, I replied the Queen you'll find her at Buckingham Palace! It was the truth the house was Crown Property! I often wondered if they were stupid enough to call!

Answer 3

I've now got that telephone preference service so don't get them anymore but when I did, I used to try and sell them stuff down the phone. Everytime they tried to read a line from their pre written script I would come back with a sales tack of my own or I would repeat exactly what they said. They got really pissed off and would hang up on me.

I also used to hand the phone to my daughter who at the time had only just started talking and she would babble down the phone at them!

Answer 4

When they ask me if I've got double glazing I say
"Hang on, I'll just go and look!"
Then leave the phone off the hook whilst I make a cup of tea and take bets as to how long they'll stay on the line waiting!


Or I just say '...Yessss.' manically for every question they ask.
Or I just don't say anything. Wait until they are in mid flow and just walk away from the phone.

I pity them really!

Answer 5

I don't have any funny stories when it comes to telesales/marketing, I just tell them politely that I'mnot interested in what they have to say before they even get started on their speel and they're like "but you don't even know what we have to offer" so I just tell them once again that I'm not interested then I hang up.

I think hanging up on these people is the only kind of language they understand...fel sorry them at the same time, it's an awful job that I wouldn't have the patience for.

Answer 6

Hi!

I have two things that I say!

First of all I decide which 'persona' I'm gonna adopt!

I have Maria the foreign Housekeeper. First of all I use a Mexican sounding accent. I say "Ello?". They ask if Mrs so'n'so is in. I say "sorry she no come out of jail 'til next year, Mr so'n'so say I must close house up and go back to Mamma". That gets rid of 'em right away!!

The other one is a Police Detective. I answer in a very authoritative voice and at first just say "Hello". They ask for Mr or Mrs so'n'so. I say "This is Police Detective Hardman. You have just rung this number which is part of a homicide crime scene, what is your business with the deceased?" It's hilarious to hear them stuttering and apologising!

Try any of the above and you'll have some great fun!

Answer 7

A rep refused to answer my question so I said "Look, I know it's you job to sit on the phone all day and make these calls but I have a life and I'm not going to play these stupid games with you!"

Answer 8

My spouse *E works at a company(*ABC) that has telemarketers. By chance before E worked there E had bought a product from them. The telemarketers will call to set up service appts and such. So one day while E is at work, the phone rings so I answer. his is *Jane at ABC is E there. I'm puzzled thinking to myself hmm. I say to Jane, well no E better be there with you. So Jane is puzzled now. I say well E is supposed to be at work now and since E works there with you, you need to tell me where the hell E is. Jane was really puzzled and hung up on me. I was freaking out thinking something was wrong with E. So I called ABC to find out what was going on. Come to find out Jane was just a telemarketers there trying to make a service appt. She thought I was a nut job.

Answer 9

My boyfriend recieved a call from one who was selling mobile phone contract, he said yes im really interested and then put the phone on the side and left it there.

Answer 10

Best one I saw came from Seinfeld. He tells the telemarketer that he's busy and then asks the telemarketer for his home phone number. Then Jerry says "Oh, you don't want people you don't know to call you at home? Well, then you know how I feel!"