we have together for a year and its been amazing and keeps getting better. He was in a 2 year relationship before me and she screwed him over and left him for his cousin (after cheating on him for a few months). we recently had a talk about how we feel about each other. iknow he loves and cares about me but he said he does trust me but its just that he doesnt trust girls in general and never wants to get hurt again. so he basically told me he was scared to get closer to me and was never going to let himself get hurt again. I don't know what to do i would never hurt him cheat on him i love him with all my heart and want him to see that and let that wall down. i feel stuck and don't know what to do cause i want to be with him for the rest of my life but im scared he will never completely open up and let himself get close to me. what do you think i should do?
2006-11-03 06:27:06 · 17 answers · asked by bob123456789 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you're on the right track but the only thing you can do is to keep it up. Just keep being wonderful and eventually he will have to see that you are different than the rest. I am in a similar position, though I've only been with mine a matter of months and he is still not willing to let down his guard as much as I'd hope. But I know that it will take time and patience for me and it will for you too. Most importantly, don't betray him in any way. Just show him you are infinitely consistent, honest, and trustworthy.
2006-11-03 06:30:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him and tell him how you feel, if you have been together this long he obviously has some trust for you. It isn't about what you do for him sexually...you need to be real with him and he needs to be real with you. I think that you should talk to him and open up to how you feel and tell him that you are scared that by him not trusting you then things can't move forward, because then you don't know how he really feels. If he loves the way he says he does then he needs to forget his ex and focus on you and only you. Not something some little inconsiderate female did in the past to him. You shouldn't have to pay for here mistakes!!! Good luck. I am sorry about your situation...it sux.
2006-11-03 06:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by MIA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can try is take him for counseling but before that you can try yourself to reason it out. Ask him that if he had asthma, would he stop breathing or if he met an accident, will he stop walking? One painful incident does not mean that it has to get repeated again and again and one has to move on. Even if he doesn't, not moving on itself can become a pain that will be difficult to handle. It is not about giving a chance to you to prove that you are trustworthy or not, it is about giving his life a chance to have a loving and caring person beside him. Just because he is person that his beloved may leave him again, he prefers not have a beloved all his life. Isn't a moment with the beloved more precious than life itself? Perhaps he will understand what are you driving at. Otherwise he must see a counselor.
2006-11-03 06:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always be wary of men who say that they "can't" trust all women because of what one woman did to them. You're boyfriend has some serious insecurity issues that go beyond that one incident and you could be opening yourself up to a lot of potential heartache and disappointment if you chose to stay with him. Every time that something doesn't go the way that he wants, he may decide that it is because you aren't "trustworthy" enough or that you don't love him enough, and you may find yourself in the position of constantly trying to prove yourself over and over again. Your boyfriend needs to consider counseling before you two go any further into your commitment.
2006-11-03 06:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be there for him. I can't stress that enough....You have to understand where he is coming from and he need to learn to trust you. Make sure to tell him u love him and would never want to hurt him. If he feels still a little tense just stay by him but he needs to learn if he never lets u get closer or allow himself to get closer he will lose you....You kno you won't wait forever to be completely loved.
2006-11-03 06:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not how he can trust you. It's how he can begin to trust himself. He could use some talk therapy with a social worker or psychologist. Once he can trust in himself, he can begin to trust in others. This takes a long time. You're in for a bumpy ride!
2006-11-03 06:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by The N8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do the matters once more that make him do not believe you. Be honest the sincere in all of your movements closer to him. It might take a little time to regain a believe. Stay with him and take a look at doing matters in combination. If you're honest to construct again the believe, I might consider that he's going to be ready to feel it and he's going to quickly to be given you once more. Remember to stick with him cos this time circular he's going to be given one more celebration understanding that he dont have believe in you.
2016-09-01 06:40:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly things like that happen. What you need to do is just be there for him until he knows he can totally trust you. Prove it to him i mean do little things. Just show him that you will always be there and you are worthy of his trust. That is the only thing you can do.
As for that girl. Let me know where she lives I will give her a little talking too (i hate it when someone gets hurt like that).
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-11-03 06:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by Juice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just takes some people some time to trust their mate. Just say something to him don't be mean about it. It is just going to take him some time on how to express himself to you. You may just need more time together (another year) and you will lean his ins and outs better.
2006-11-03 06:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Lexie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't press him on the issue of trust but as you spend more time together he will slowly start bringing down the emotional wall he has built. You have to be patient and give it time, and if he is worth it, you will.
2006-11-03 06:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋