does one go to hell if..........?

Question

thay cannot forgive or reconcile with their parents?

at d old students re-union i was surprised at the number of women who had a grudge against their mothers and the number who men who blamed their parents for their misery.

there was a woman who felt that her parents had squashed all her dreams when they paid for her brother's medical education. they had no money left for her, so she had to work for a living just after high school. the brother has moved on and now she has to look after her parents single handedly. she is glad she has them, but always wishes that they had paid for her education. as as kid she always wanted to give them a big house and happiness.

then there were people whose parents had seperated when they were small. they never had a parent, and have not been able to forgive the parent that brought them up for creating the vaccum in their lives.

the question is: with so much bitterness against their parents, will they ever be able to make it to heaven??

Answer 1

John Milton, in Paradise Lost said, "The mind is its own place and in itself can make a Hell of Heaven, a Heaven of Hell." Thus, we create our own destiny anew in each and every moment. Bitterness is a thorn deep below the skin of our consciousness that continues to fester as long as we harbor it. To be free, one must let go of the past and take responsibility for their feelings and their actions. It is irresponsible to blame one's feelings on another. Where do the feelings emanate from? Within ourselves, we create them. Something outside may be the catalyst for such feelings, but we create them and react to our self-made feelings.
I have a question for your question - why wait until you are dead to find out? Why not try to be free from our self-created suffering and live in peace right this second?

As the maxim goes: To err is human. To forgive, divine.

Answer 2

If one is holding onto bitterness then they are probably already living in hell. They can only reach heaven (on earth) by resolving these issues. Often, all one really wants or needs is to hear their parents admit that they made a mistake.

By the way...I think that it is disgusting that parents would provide one of your children with an education and not the other!!!

Answer 3

This is what i know: Hitler is in a place in the spirtworld where all the people he was responsible for killing and torturing are lined up for miles and when they finaly get to them they do every thing to him that he did to them. once they are done, they go back and get in line untill they can do it again.

He is obviously in a state of hell, but this is the important part: SO ARE THEY. All these people couldnt let go of their hate and resentment before they died so they were brought down to the same place as hitler.

Although i dont believe they will be there for ever, that there can be some slow restoration in the spirt world, it is MUCH faster and better to do while you are on earth.

I dont believe that it is as simple as heaven as hell, but if they dont let go of their resentments here on earth then it will cary into the spirt world and they will have to deal with that for a very long time.

Answer 4

These people need to sit down with their parents and ask them why they did what they did? Being an adult now, I see why my parents made the decisions they did when I was a kid.

We were not a very wealthy family, so when I told my parents that I wanted to go to college, they told me that I would have to pay my own way. I wondered why they didn't save for my college education, but with three other siblings, they didn't have the money. So, I got a job and paid my way thru college. I'm not bitter or mad ... I am actually stronger and more independent now having had to go thru this.

If you want to go to heaven ... forgive yourself, talk to your parents, understand their reasons, then forgive them and move on ... life is to short to hold a grudge ...

Answer 5

It is not uncommon for adults to be bitter toward their parents for their raisng or lack of attention while they were growing up.Grown Adult children begin to understand their parents actions,especially after they have children of their own,and have grown up more themselves.It finally dawns on them,that perhaps their parents were doing the best they knew how & how the parents were raised also has an impact how they raised the children.It is a stage of Life.

However, if one was abused as a child in whatever way, the adult child should seek counseling to help them take back the power,that was taken from them when they were young. Also to learn how to forgive them[parent/parents] for the adult childs peace of mind.Understand forgiving them & letting go of the anger does not let them off the hook. The parents may be toxic & dangerous to the adult child and health boundries must be put up between them. They do not have to be a part of your life.
The forgiving part for the adult child,is for the adult child to be free from anger & hurt feelings,it's not allowing another to make you feel bad for one more minute or allow anger to consume you. God the Father does NOT want His children to suffer their whole lifetime with bitterness,it destroys you inside. Forgive them & move on. Yes, the Lord said to honor your Mother & father, so you may live long in the land. But, He also told the Fathers not to provoke thy children to anger. Father God knows the heart of every situation and His mercy endures forever!

Answer 6

Is your whole life lived simply to chase a "golden ticket" that may, or may not, get you in to a place that may, or may not, exist?

Now, let's look at the question. we go through live with hopes and dreams, and regrets. It is obvious, to me, that we only have one chance at life, so it is natural to feel some regret that your parents may have taken decisions that have altered your life.

Of course, I agree with the premise that nobody over the age of 30 should blame their parents for anything. Why can your friend not go to college now, for example?

My father died when I was 12. I can't go through life blaming him. That is a cop out. A bit like you probably blaming everything on your god.

Answer 7

Although forgiveness is usually best for not only the parents, but also the child. It is not what determines if you go to heaven. What determines it is if you believe that you have done wrong things in your life, you realize that the punishment is eternity in hell, and you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins.

Answer 8

Yes. Going to heaven is not based on bitterness and resentment, or unforgiveness. Hopefully God can come into the picture and heal the hurt they've gotten from their parents, and help them to forgive. Sometimes we can't forgive another without God's help if we've been hurt badly enough.

Answer 9

heaven doesn't exist...ppl need to resolve their issues now, while they're still alive and can work it out with the ppl they're angry with. it's just too easy to believe you can live your life full of hatred, anger, and self-pity, and then be forgiven in the end and reunite with everyone you've held a grudge against, and all is forgotten...heal those feelings while you're alive and can actually make some earthly progress.

Answer 10

Being saved is about accepting Christ into your life and having a relationship with Him. It does mean that we no longer sin. Hanging on to old bitterness or grudes is a sin. As a believer we strive towards a sinless life but will never acheive it. That is why Christ died for us, to save us of our sins. As they further their walk with Christ they will hopefully repent of this sin and hopefully be at peace. If they don't, they'll still go to heaven.