I just found out that 12 year old step was a real terror at a birthday party for his cousin this past weekend. I learned from the others mothers that he used a ruler to lift the hems of dresses on a number of girls attending the event. Now I am wondering how I should punish him. Any ideas?
2006-11-03 05:27:50 · 10 answers · asked by Ladywithwrench 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
He is my step son.
2006-11-03 05:28:56 · update #1
My uncle had a way of breaking his two sons from harrassing girls and it worked quite well. He made them wear dresses for an entire day. I remember my cousin John having to go to school in a dress and then to baseball practice in a dress. After that he was the most respectful young man aound females. Yes it is a little drastic (Nowadays bleeding hearts would claim it is child abuse) But very effective.
2006-11-03 12:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that "punishment" would stick with a 12 year old. I suggest that you try to talk to him about what happened. It shouldn't matter if you are a mom or step-mom. The fact is that you ARE either one of two , or the only close female influence he'll need to get advice and discipline from. SO, you should let him know that lifting up a girl's skirt is an invasion of privacy and can be interpreted by many as a form of violation of one's body. Wether it's another boy or especially a girl... no one else has the right to harrass them or make them feel uncomfortable... especially when it has to do with behavior which can be deemed a precursor to sexual harassment. Be serious... so he'll know the behavior is NEVER acceptable. Good luck!!!
2006-11-04 01:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mexi Poff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am sure you have gotten a lot of answers, but this is mine for you....I have two sons and two daughters and we use the point system.....okay, you start out with 50 points (put this on a paper on the fridge)...for every thing they do bad (temper, fits, talking back, fighting, etc...) you take away 2 points.....for every good thing (cleaning kitchen, dishes, bathroom, trash, etc...) you add 2-3 points depending on the job. If they get to 25, then they are grounded to their room...being grounded isn't fun, no tv, radio, toys, nothing except reading or looking at the ceiling. In order for them to get their points above 25, they have to get permission to do a chore and then their is a time limit. They also can get points from their grade card...30 for A's, 20 B's, 10 C's, 0 D's, and minus -25 for F's....They spend their points for things, like the school dance is 24 points, sleep overs are 18 points, you get the idea...My children are 17 step-son, 14 step-son, 12 daughter, and 9 daughter...let me tell you they all like it!!!! They even signed a contract. They will fight sometimes to get the points. A rule though, if I fight is started and their is physical contact...grounded automatically for the rest of the week and lose of points for the person who started it. I find this works in my house, and for looking up a girls skirt I would put minus 5..it also helps because you are teaching them of earning and spending too. Hope I helped.
2006-11-03 15:46:56 · answer #3 · answered by cdb774 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think punishment would be effective. Someone-probably his dad-needs to talk to him about these things. Males and females, respect and proper behavior around the other sex, etc. If he hasn't already had this chat with his dad, then this isn't a cause for punishment. It's something that needs to be discussed. Good luck!
2006-11-04 07:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he needs to understand how he made those girls feel. Does he have sisters? Ask him how he would feel if someone did that to his sister, or to you. I'm sure it's mostly curiosity at this age, but he needs to know inappropriate behaviors will not be tolerated. Taking away video games or tv should be an appropriate punishment.
2006-11-03 16:16:50 · answer #5 · answered by twinmomx2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is his mother in the picture at all? If so, let dad handle it.
If not, you and dad sit down and discuss the choices. At 12, he is getting curious and unless Dad has had 'the talk', he will find out the answers any way he can.
2006-11-03 14:47:31 · answer #6 · answered by GP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should punish him the same way you usually punish him. At 12 I think grounding from video games works really well.
2006-11-03 14:40:53 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought is to give him a lecture about respecting other people and the concequences of sexual harassment. Then how about an appology written (or typed) out to the girls.
2006-11-03 19:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by misskenjr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take him to visit the jail let the guys talk to him ,let him know what it's like in jail and scare him straight
2006-11-03 16:56:37 · answer #9 · answered by elizabeth_davis28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dress him like a girl for a day!!
2006-11-03 14:42:13 · answer #10 · answered by notyochic 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋