is this cheating?

Question

my bf left his ex for me 6 months ago, since then she has called and text him constantly. they have a baby together that he has custody of and she is a methhead. she doesn't care about baby just wants him back. He used to tell me everytime she called and honestly i got tired of it but now he says nothing. I have found text from him to her saying "ILY" and when confronted he says its because he feels guilty and he does care about her. I just found out he calls her too. he doesn't volunteer info unless i ask and then its very vague. I broke up with him over this a month ago and he begged me to stay because he loves me more than he's ever loved anyone and i believe him. does he love her? is he purposely sneaking around behind my back? he gets defensive when i bring it up because he says we've talked about it over and over.

thanks for responding

yes I am mature, 35, and i have 2 small children of my own.

Answer 1

He may be cheating; it’s hard to tell. Anyone who gets defensive about something when asked about it is usually lying. Does he look you in the eye when he tells you this, or does his eyes shift to the side like he is looking for someone to come around the corner. Does he lower his head or stammer and say uh or ah or mm like he is trying to find the words to say. Does he start to scream or yell at you. You do know that the ILY means -- I love you-- don’t you. I can understand him wanting to keep in touch with her because of the baby, as he/she needs to know her mother when she gets older but I can’t understand the way is acting about the situation unless he is 16 years old or younger. I say you should get out if you do not love him a great deal unless you are older and I mean older and mature, not like just 20 or something like that but closer to 30. It will take a lot of maturity to be able to handle a situation where there is a ready-made family especially one with a man that has issues with the babies mom and where the mom is on a drug like meth, I understand that is a hard drug to get off of. There is a web site that tells you how to tell if a person is lying to you but I can't remember what it is, if you search maybe you can find it. Good luck to you in whatever your decision to do. ♣