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I haven't talked to my ex since she broke up with me a month ago. She wanted to be friends, but I told her that I could not do that because I needed time to get over her. I think she expects me to have called her by now because while we were together I was a really caring person. I times I think how happy and stable I was with myself upset her because she is very unhappy with her life and its gotten so bad she has decided to see a therapist. I think that me being so happy around her all the time made her upset cause she felt bad most of the time I think. I also really resembled her father, who passed away 4 months ago. We had the same personality and traditional values. Anyway when she dumped me she said that I did nothing wrong and that we had good potential but everything sucked because of her. So I guess what do you think? Does this sound reasonable and would it be okay to wish her a happy thanksgiving or something

2006-11-03 04:06:42 · 38 answers · asked by Clrcut27 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

38 answers

'I feel bad for her. She obviously cant handle a relationship right now and I think if you truly cared for her/ loved her you would remain friends and try to be there for her emotionally. It sounds like she really needs that. Even though it may be difficult, it would be a really selfless and commendable act on your part. So, I don't know what you mean by reasonable but yes, definitely, wish her a happy thanksgiving!

2006-11-03 04:23:49 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 2 · 1 0

She sounds really torn. I think she really cares and loves you as a person. I don't think you being happy all the time around her had anything to do with her feeling bad about herself. You did mention that she lost her father 4 months ago, and that your personality and traditional values remind her of him because you are like him in that way. I say that if you are into her, and you want a future with only her in it, then give her your friendship, and be there for her, she may not be able to handle you all at once because of her emotions right now, but she needs you none the less. I KNOW it would do her heart good for you to call her and wish her a happy Thanksgiving. It would do her heart good if you just called to say hi and see how her day was and just let her know, you will love her no matter what, in your actions........... Blessed be...........

2006-11-03 05:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0 0

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/ZRaF1

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.

2016-07-18 20:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

absolutely I think it would be okay. you two may not be together but there's no reason why you should just cut each other out of your lives. At one time she was your best friend as you were hers.....there was reason for that, and the good times shouldn't just be thrown out the window as if it didn't exist...what a waste all of our lives would be if we did that. Bad often comes in with the good, so the only thing to do is appreciate the good times and learn from the bad times. It's pointless to be bitter by it. I think if you feel like saying hello or wishing her a happy thanksgiving, etc. you should go for it. Just as long as you maintain your feelings responsively. Don't do the "wishful thinking thing and have hidden intentions". you'll only hurt yourself in the longrun if you do that. Remember...care for others with your heart but take care of yourself with your head. ;) hope this helps a bit. Good luck!

2006-11-03 06:11:36 · answer #4 · answered by lilmenbc39 1 · 0 0

OK, i am one of those ladies that has self esteem issues also... and i have trouble staying with a guy because i think i am bringing down the relationship... but i am still friends with most of my ex's... and i think that she would love to hear from you, because maybe she wasn't able to handle a relationship then, but a friendship is better than nothing, especially when you remind her of someone that was I'mportant in her life, im sure she knows you aren't that person, but maybe it would help her if you did wish her a happy thanksgiving, it might be the only good thing she sees....

2006-11-03 06:05:01 · answer #5 · answered by babyatgradys 2 · 0 0

Yes, call her there is nothing wrong with being friends with and ex. It's great when a relationship end and you or her are able to stay friends. If you want to get back with her, take your time. Don't rush her. If not, call her once and a while just to say hi, and also on holidays. If she is having problems it would be good to hear from a good friend on holidays. Good Luck, you sound like a great guy and there should be more men like you in the world!

2006-11-03 04:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by Cowgirl Joe 2 · 1 0

oh, please, call and wish a happy thanksgiving. gosh, her father passed away only 4 months ago. this had to be a very depressing time for her. her emotions are so mixed up. when you speak with her, why not ask her out for a dinner (someplace quiet) and really have a heart to heart. be truthful with her, ask her if she feels mixed up because of her dad's death and is this part of the problem she is having with you...that she is to upset to allow herself to be happy -- it would be showing fault against her father. let her know you sincerely care for her and that you are willing to help her through any crisis she is feeling within herself. let her know it's okay for what she's feeling and IS SHE willing to work out her problems WITH YOU -- you know it will take time for her but you really care enough to stick around for the long haul. let her know how good of a person she is and that together, you'll try to make her world a happier place. good luck and i hope you both have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

2006-11-03 05:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0 0

Wish her happy thanksgiving and say hello. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact she might want to hear from you. Sounds like she was just trying to get over pops passing also. Give her a call! Wish you luck!

2006-11-03 05:24:52 · answer #8 · answered by HotMommi 2 · 1 0

The way she broke up with you???i think there is something more there.Do you love her?do u want to be with her?did you talk the whole thing through?

Did she really mean the break up because ive said that to my partner a load of times while i was feeling low knowing he would help me.

She was really messed up.did you try talking toher?She really needs some stability.someone who will be there for her.If your not willing to be there for her then dont bother saying anything as u will have waited too long and it will bring back everything.

Her dad had just died obviously she was feeling lower than ever and you walking away would hav made it 100 times worse!!!

2006-11-03 05:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Life is too short to be carrying luggage at your age. Trust me it will always be something. If not one thing it will be another. You are open and articulate, she no doubt will have given you the silences, what's up honey ? Nothing .... Be happy you are out of that one but learn from the experience, all she can do is drag you down to her level. Life will in time give you enough of your own downs, you do not need anyone elses at this stage of your life. Chill out, listen to your gut instincts and in time move on. What is past should remain in the past. Carry it and there will come a time where you cannot move because of all you have carried. Good luck .......

2006-11-03 05:26:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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