Have you been tempted to cheat, or be the "other person"? How did you deal with it?

Question

from a Christian perspective?

I know, we all know it's not worth it. It's just nuts that some have moments of weakness and give in... or do it out of spite.. or do it to spice things up- when we darn well know it's wrong!!!

I haven't been the "other" in a marriage and I'm not married. But I can't say I haven't thought about it.

I'm not talking specifically about physical cheating, but also emotional/closeness

Answer 1

Not only was I tempted to, but I fell into it. And hopefully you can learn from my passed sin . IT'S NOT WORTH IT !!!! When we get tempted,we are blinded to all the consequences that follow. And believe me, there will be consequences .. but here is the good news.. Being tempted is not a sin .. resist the devil and he will flee from you . trust me, you will be greatly disappointed in the end,with unbelievable heartache .
It is the Christians duty to cast down those imaginations that exault themselves above God and bring them into the obedience and captivity of Jesus .. Shut the thoughts down, and replace them with God's word .. Lord Bless you ....

emotional closeness can very well lead to physical . The devil knows how to set that up like nobodies business . he will do what ever he can to acomplish his goal .

Answer 2

I'm sorry I'm not religious.

I have been approached from time to time over the years.

Once, when I was approached by another girl and had an opportunity to cheat, I just thought about how unfair it would be to break my promise to my then girl friend. I also thought about the emotional investment the "other" girl would make and how it could hurt her and not be fair for her as well. I also considered myself and how shallow and foolish I would become and how little my word would mean if I were to do such a thing.

So I thanked her and said no. It didn't get all weird and we were able to continue working together without any problems.

Now years later, my girlfriend and I have been married for sometime and have a little girl.

And to think, I could have chosen to throw that all away.

I think not being religious makes a choice like this even more important. This is because all you've got is your own word. I was responsible totally for my own choice. I couldn't blame it on Satan tempting me and I couldn't get absolution. In that moment, it was up to me to do what I knew was right. Not because I was being watched... but because there's right action and wrong action. Do one and you're living. Do the other and you may be walking around, but you're dead on the inside.

See, even us none religious types can get preachy.

Answer 3

I'm not really sure what a 'Christian perspective' is, but i'll give this a shot.

Seems to me, it all comes down to whether or not our needs are getting met. I mean, that's what attracks us to someone in the first place, right? They smile, show interest, encourage us, make us feel special & important. As long as they continue to do that, we have feelings of love for them.

It's when they stop that problems start. People change, we get bored, we stop trying as hard as we used to, and suddenly our needs aren't getting met. So we look elsewhere.

My X cheated. She never admitted it, but i'm sure of it now. I'd been tempted before, but didn't give in. I guess that's cause my needs were still being met, at least for the most part.

Even tho' I passed on opportunities and I ended up divorced anyway, I'm glad i didn't cheat. I don't think i could have looked msyelf in the mirror knowing I'd cheated.

But that's just me.

Answer 4

When you ask this kind of a question and then qualify it with "from a Christian perspective" ---then there are really no other ways to answer except "Don't do it!" Christian values and morals say it is wrong in so many ways to hurt people in this manner. I know how it feels, and it isn't good! If you are that tempted, maybe talk to your minister or someone else you respect and trust to get some help in dealing with the whole thing. Good luck!!

Answer 5

When I was married the first time my husband cheated on me for years - I was very hurt and there were times when I was tempted to cheat, instead I got another job taking care of an elderly lady (I worked in the home health care full time and had a side job)--- I was so involved with patient care that I didn't spend all that time worrying about my bad marriage....since my hubby wouldn't agree to counselling or stop cheating we ended up divorcing.

Answer 6

No I haven't been tempted to cheat. I look but I don't touch. Who knows if the one I would touch would turn out to be a rabid psycho one? Don't need the baggage that comes with it and besides, if I have a good Man? Why would I jeopardize that relationship for a one night stand or a roll in the hay a few times? It's not worth it to me.

Answer 7

I may not have it from a christain perspective, but I still feel cheating is cheating. Yes I have been tempted and I have cheated in the past, not on my husband but my boyfriend before I found my husband. (no i did not cheat on my ex with my husband now). I felt horrible because we were all friends and that killed our friendship. It isnt something easy to deal with.

the only advice i have for you is to walk away. I know that may be difficult and it may only be an emotional closeness but that is where it starts hon.

Answer 8

I think we need more information than this. If you're in a dead in marriage with abuse and infidelity and with no kids or not even married at all, it's going to be a little different.

That said, I was asked to sleep with someone on a business trip, and this girl was extremely cute. Physically, I was attracted to her, but I love my wife and my family, and I could never do that to them. Those things hardly ever work out, and in the end, you're alone and feeling horrible.

Answer 9

Every time your tempted, think to yourself....self, this wouldn't be good if I were the one being cheated on. The worst feeling in the world is being cheated on, the second worse is being the person that breaks up someone else's relationship. Have some self-respect, don't ever be the other woman.

Answer 10

I had 3 brief affairs with 3 different married men.

I went through a range of emotions. I did it because I had just broken up with a boyfriend of many years and I was hurt that he never proposed marriage to me.

At first I did not care because I was doing it out of spite. Then I did feel terrible later on. But now, I realize that they were my mistakes to make. I don't regret them at all now. Those men also made a decision to step out of their marriage. I was the single one. But that does not make it right. I just don't feel bad about it anymore. I have made the decision not to deal with married men anymore because I am better than that. And I have a wonderful Boyfriend now who is very faithful to me and I am to him. I have learned from my mistakes and I appreciate all the experiences I have had.

I am so glad you asked that question. You have allowed me to release that. Thanks!