Need advice on what to do. Serious answers only please.?

Question

I'll try to make a long story short. I've been with my bf now for over 3 years. We were together before for about 2 years but when I moved, he broke up with me.

Now this is my dilemma. I know I love him but I'm not sure if it's enough anymore. Our sex life is terrible and I've honestly tried everything, lingerie, naked, things he likes etc, and he still rejects me. Now, I know he loves me and before you think he's cheating, he's not.

I'm just really getting annoyed of being rejected all the time and I've had enough, I just don't know what to do anymore. My self esteem is shot down and I have severe jealousy issues. He keeps saying that I'm the one with the problem and that I'm being selfish. I don't know about you but I think asking to have something once a day or maybe once every two days is not asking for much. He makes it sound like a chore. Last time I checked, sex was for pleasure.

Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.

Answer 1

He's blaming it on you, calling you selfish...

God, guys are all the same aren't they? well well well.. last time I checked, they weren't any better than us.
You've tried so many things to make him happy, to make the couple happy, does he even acknowledge that?? he sure as hell does NOT!

Love sometimes just doesn't cut it. If he can't see that you really wanna make it work, if he's not making any efforts, what is there to do? You love him, he loves you.. Wheres the connection, the passion, the love felt emotions?... Couples often need to work on the passion because with the years, it dies out. At this point if you feel that he won't give in the necessary efforts to make this work, you have to let it go. The efforts have to come from both sides, we all make mistakes, but when something is done wrong we have to try to make things work. Now that's my advice, do what feels right for you.... last piece of advice: Never forget to follow your heart!!
Good Luck.

Answer 2

WOW
usually it's the man in the relationship having this problem, not the other way around. Well, people's feelings can and do change, and it's really hard to accept that. Maybe he's not attracted to you anymore. Maybe your looks (or other things about you) have changed and you're not the person he fell in love with. Maybe (just a maybe) he's gay. I know that's pretty out there, but it happened to me and i couldnt believe it. The thing is, and i want to emphasize this as much as possible...sometimes things just dont work out. It's really that simple. If you're at a point where you can take one good hard look at this relationship and realize it's not worth saving, than there you go. If you love him and want to try than try couples counseling or sex therapy. I don't know just how far you are emotionally to tell you what you should do. You've been together for awhile and you have a history, which does mean alot. But on the other hand, there are a million other guys out there who could be giviing you what you need. Just be honest to him, most importantly be honest to yourself. And good luck

Answer 3

So he broke up with you. When it comes to sex, he rejects you. I know that you love him, but there is nothing from what you've said that shows he loves you. You've been together for 3 years, but what is he doing to make you happy? Maybe there's more that you haven't said, but even if there is, understand that his bedroom behavior probably will never change and there is definitely not a way you can make him change if he doesn't want to. I think your time would be better spent elsewhere, but it's up to you on whether you want to live like that or move along.

Answer 4

babe, just start ignoring him. Act like he isnt there much anymore. Tell him in light words, hey I might go abroad, or I got a chance to join the airlines things that can make him jealous... Babe, I am just like you only thin my boyfriend is not marrying me! He is too bloody lazy. Being from India, you know how it is! So, relax and take it cool. Hire some movies and switch off your phone. Make him wonder where you are. Change all your plans and do things differently. If you are such a kinky babe he would be a fool to lose you. Tell him your mom came down and wants to introduce you to some nice next door guy she met in a supermarket. Make him get jealous babe. It sounds hard and it is but you must do it to make this relationship last. I speak to my BF about 100 times a day and yet we want to make it work. So start playing hard to get from now. If you are so horny, watch Bluefilms, get a vibrator but somehow just ignore him. Plan for 3 days and then if he doesnt change then for a week but as if you are automatically changing. Dont make it obvious. Or else they will also get ego. Just be like... Oh I got this and that, I got plans and make it real interesting for yourself. He might be taking you for granted or just physically lazy like some men are. So dont worry. If he loves you truly he wont run away or hurt you. But you need to hurt him in some ways that make him really get turned on and run back to you. Coz if you give a man a naked woman, he takes it for granted. Give him a woman with clothes, playing hard to get and then he will start enjoying the chase. Dont worry he will get back to normal... but for once just make him run after you like crazy ... Im sure you can go for that animal thrill sex then. Best of luck babe

Answer 5

He rejects you. Why do you want to persist. your self esteem is important if you want to stay healthy and have fun. Jealousy is another problem. He does not like having sex with you period. Look for some one else who will treat you nice lift your spirits and put you on a pedestal and love you like a mad man. This guy will not work.

Answer 6

Start dressing provacatively and kind of showing off and once he notices other guys looking at you then he might get the hint and maybe just one little thing might spring him. Plus check yourself out and take a look at yourself. Maybe you have gained weight or changed your appearance in some way or have sad to say became boring or he could have some stress in his life that he isn't telling you about. There could be alot of factors

Answer 7

Instead of trying lingerie and things of that sort, have you actually tried sitting down and talking to him? Ask him why he doesn't want sex. Don't ask him after he's rejected you, but when your both fully dressed. Just tell him you need to talk with him and sit down in a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. Don't get upset and emotional with him, just sit and listen.

Answer 8

Your intuition is right on. It's NOT enough. If he doesn't want to be intimate with you then there's something wrong. Since it sounds like you've talked with him and tried and tried, I figure it's HIS problem. Believe me, you will find someone else. Don't waste your precious time on this guy any more. It's best for BOTH of you to move on. Good Luck.

Answer 9

he's no longer on the fringe of his very own relatives so the seen assembly yours is terrifying. i actually am no longer on the fringe of my own relatives (no longer because of the fact i do no longer prefer to be). this is confusing for every person to fulfill the (GF/BF's mum and dad/relatives) yet its even worse for somebody who did no longer come from a nicely rounded relatives. It sounds such as you and your loved ones are particularly close and that's in all probability very frightening for him. you won't be in a position to easily throw him into the entire relatives. He might freak. you need to introduce him to basically some memebers at a time. enable him get used to them and adjust to them,then while he's waiting (and don't be afraid to ask him while he's mushy) then introduce greater. he's no longer social and he in all probability has some emotional bags from no longer being close along with his very own relatives. He could be particularly uncomfortable and particularly intimidated if he meet the full team at one time. I say this b/c i've got lived it. i'm particularly social and a human beings individual, and the seen assembly knew human beings excites me, yet while its assembly an entire relatives i'm getting stressful and worried and particularly uncomfortable. You gonna prefer to ease him into it. i'm hoping this enables.

Answer 10

Your wasting your time with this guy. Be thankful for the good times you had together and move on. You will find much more happiness and re-gain your self respect as soon as you don't' have him around to take it from you anymore.
You should be the one doing the rejecting !
Good luck.