my daughter-in-law keeps a dirty house and has 2 chioldren?

Question

my daughter in law has a girl5 and a boy 4.she never cleans.the house is always dirty and as a grandparent im livid////what can i do

Answer 1

Go over and help her. Is it possible your expectations are to high? Is her house messy or dirty? It does make a big difference. Could she be depressed and having a hard time funtioning? Look at the whole picture before coming to conclusions.

Answer 2

To all of these comments about helping her out... I go there everyday to keep my grandson and granddaughter. I do MORE than help out. I clean everyday. Both parents work full time jobs. Daughter in law works 32 hours, son works 60 to 72 hours a week. Daughter in law does have a day off in the middle of the week and does nothing!
Why suggest depression as a reason for not keeping a clean house?. I do what I can to help out but there is NOTHING done other than what I do. Yes, it's their house but I go there to help out so that neither has to bring the children to me. I get my grandson ready for school. I'm just saying she could make an effort. Before you jump on my son I will tell you that he is the only one I've noticed making any effort with the house. Young moms today are lazy. You can balance things if you care to. What happened to taking pride in your home?

Answer 3

I believe this is hitting a nerve with some of you stay at home mom's there is a difference between not keeping your dirty dishes clean and cabinets wiped down on a daily route this is not teaching your kids
of all ages to help and have chores, my son does do his part of the house work and works 60 to 80 hours
a week, if you mom's are depressed it is time to go to the doctor and get some help, I have gone over
and washed dishes, ran the sweeper many times it does no good. Honestly I think it is being lazy and just does not really care about herself, kids or husband

Answer 4

You can't do anything. It is her house. Is its really that dirty, or are you just picky? Is is really dirty or just cluttered? Does it bother your son? If not, then you should just but out. I try to keep my house clean, but my husband and my kids (they're older than your grand-kids) never pick up after themselves. I know my MIL thinks my house is always dirty, but it isn't. It's just cluttered. And frankly I wish it were cleaner, but I'm tired of picking up after everyone else all the time. This question kind of hit a nerve with me because so many mothers and mother's in law won't let there adult children live their own lives. If you don't like how messy her house is, don't go over there.

Answer 5

I agree with the majority. HELP HER CLEAN UP THE HOUSE!!!!Be supportive and help her out. Make your son get up off his duff and clean! Please don't be so self-ritous. If you are so offended by the state of her's and OBVIOUSLY your son's home, why don't you help clean it.

Otherwise, you're just poking "digs" at someone behind their back. You remember how hard it was raising children, cooking dinner, no doubt working a full time, etc. Where is your son in all this and why isn't he helping. I don't care if he has a full time job or not. Did you ever think that your daughter-in-law may be depressed. And I must say, had I had a mother-in-law you you, I would have been depressed too! So therefore; no motivation!

Answer 6

Having children now a days is alot diffrent . I'm a mother to a 5 year old and I can't just let her go off and play while I clean my house. What you might do is pay for Merry Maids to go over and help her out a few times a month if it is bugging you so much. My mother-in-law is just like you and I always tell her "If you have issues with my home than you come over and hepl me if not shut up" You need to remember it is her home not yours. Put yourself in her shoes.With School things and trying to be a mom and wife. It is hard. Be nice to her and first offer help.

Answer 7

is the house actually dirty or just messy.
as there is a huge difference between dirt and mess.
if it just mess well that's what happens when you have kids the place gets messy.
but if its dirt then that's a different thing.
she may be finding it hard to keep on top of things. does she work or stay at home you didn't say.
i have 4 kids and i know how hard it is to keep a house clean and tidy. it is possible to be clean but still have mess.
my house is sparkling clean but you can guarantee you'll find a bit of mess somewhere i.e toys books etc there's no stopping it when you have kids. maybe try giving her a hand instead of criticizing her.
you've obviously forgotten how hard it is bringing up children and staying on top of the house as well.

Answer 8

WELL YOUR SON COULD HELP WITH SOME OF THE CLEANING YOU KNOW. IF THEY BOTH WORK AND THEY HAVE THE TWO KIDS IT CAN BE HARD TO KEEP THE HOUSE STRAIGHT AND YOU NEED ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET.... AND TO ONLY COME DOWN ON HER IS WRONG THERE ARE TWO ADULTS IN THAT HOUSE. AND IF SHE IS A STAY AT HOME MOM IT CAN STILL BE HARD TO KEEP EVERYTHING STRAIGHT WITH TWO LITTLE ONES IN THE HOUSE.... YOU COULD OFFER TO TAKE THE KIDS SO SHE CAN GET THE HOUSE CLEAN AND MAYBE TAKE A LONG BUBBLE BATH AFTERWARDS. AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS CLEAN IT FOR HER OR GET OVER IT... NOTHING MORE YOU CAN DO.

Answer 9

Don't you mean your son and daughter in law keep a dirty house. It is not just her responsibility.

Answer 10

being a single mom with 2 kids is very hard, does she work or is she a stay home mom? try to help out a little, maybe when you go visit, clean the kitchen or help her by showing her how to clean. I am a single mom and have a full time job, and 2 kids, so I make a list every week of the roooms I am going to clean on a daily basis and it helps..