ok, my gf is at her apt. with another girl friend drinking. A guy comes over and is drunk, acts ruff with her, kisses her by holding her down, then gets into her bed and gets naked. Later she gets into her bed thinking the guy is passed out, but she knows he is naked. Then she says he tells her to get underneeth the covers with him, and then she tells me she gets raped. Im not in the best state of mind right now. I broke up with her, did i do the right thing?
2006-11-03 01:59:51 · 31 answers · asked by john 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she said she wasnt drunk
2006-11-03 02:01:21 · update #1
Yes, you did. Move on!
2006-11-03 02:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All right, dude… seriously, are you kidding about this?
At the expense of alienating my female audience, here is the honest truth. I believe your girlfriend was originally looking just to fool around with this guy; a number of women are turned on my a guy who tends to be rough (this is too common in today's culture)… somewhere down the immediate road, one thing led to another. I don't believe she initally wanted to have sex with the hot, strapping young dude, but once he hit her "magic spot" it was all over.
In all due respect to her, i truly believe she regrets it, about as much as any woman regrets a truly great orgasm. She may have been forced a little (i am being VERY liberal in saying that), but the truth of the matter is she should never have let him stay over. Mistake #1.
Mistake #2. She had no business crawling into the same bed as this dude, no matter what the circumstances. She should have put her friend in that bed, and your g/f should have taken the couch. Enough said. Her friend was single, your g/f was NOT.
Mistake #3. She had no business fooling around with the guy in the first place. Even if it was a little acting, all the factors contributing to the situation belong to her. No court would find him guilty of rape under these circumstances, and neither should you. It has become a bad pasttime for many women today to scream rape when none occured. Here's a statistic: a woman gets raped in her home or domicile every 8 minutes in this country. Police spend more time investigating false accusation than actual rapes. For the amount of time you have spent thinking of what your girlfriend did, over 200 women have been raped!
Mistake #4. She actually told you something. No woman would ever easily volunteer information to a loved one about such a violation; according to the FBI handbook on rapes/assaults. The fact that she so easily told you should have been a clue she was NOT raped.
I think you did the right thing, but i would have preferred her to be more honest for the millions of women raped every year. She did an injustice to those women, any of which could be your mother or sister.
You really need to explain this to her, and why it is wrong to falsely accuse someone of such a crime. You also need to explain to her, when your calmer, why you are taking such a harsh approach.
I normally answer questions, whether on Yahoo! Answers, MSN Groups or my weekly column with a degree of sarcasm and humor, but yours was especially serious.
Please drop me an email and let me know the resolution!
Wish you luck!
2006-11-03 10:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by diagofaldi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would she go on the bed knowing the guy is naked, and let him kiss her without her consent. The way it seems to me is that she could have avoided the situation a number of ways. She could have told the guy to leave, she could have not slept in the same bed, called the cops, told her girlfriend to help her, but she decided to go with it. And her getting raped is not her fault but she didn't give the drunk dude any indication that she didn;t consent. Overall you should still try to support her alot of women really do get raped and can't tell anyone she told you and you should report it and try to help her.
2006-11-03 10:11:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ankit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way you did the right thing. If she was raped, then based on the story, she doesn't have very good judgement and you can do better anyway. She should have known better. She has a bf afterall right?
If she wasn't raped, well, she's a lying whore that isn't worthy of any respect.
Either way, move on. You don't want to have to worry about something like that, especially if you are young.
2006-11-03 10:11:18 · answer #4 · answered by three6ty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating in my opinion! If she knew that this guy was naked in her bed she should have called you! Than she got into bed with him and called it rape? That don't sound like it makes any sense to me. I don't know if you should have broken up with her, but you and her needed to sit down and talk about this behavior. Who is this guy? Does she like him? Maybe you did do the right thing!
2006-11-03 10:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who's the guy and what reason did he have for being there? Drinking makes us do things we normally wouldn't do if not drunk. Yes, I think you did the right thing, you need time to think and sort it all out... If you want to know if she was raped, tell her to make a police report, and suggest that she goes and gets tested for STD's,and to have a pelvic examination, to make sure he didn't hurt her. And that you will accompany her to all of these things...
2006-11-03 10:07:03 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little fishy to me! I wouldnt deal with that, she should have never got into bed with a naked guy, im sure if you got in a bad with a naked girl, she woul be really mad!
2006-11-03 10:02:13 · answer #7 · answered by Molly323 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the real question is why wouldn't your girlfriend have called you the minute this guy started getting rough with her or her friend. She should have asked/insisted he leave immediately rather than allow him to stay. Something in her story doesn't add up.
If you really love her you might want to get some space to think things through, but honestly, something doesn't jive with her story.
2006-11-03 10:06:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she wasnt drunk, then she would of been smart enough to know NOT to get into a bed knowing a naked man ( not her bf) is in her bed...common sense would of told her to sleep on the couch or a floor. i doubt she was raped, it was consentual
2006-11-03 10:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by clubsandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From this story, yes you did the right thing. Even if HE was drunk, she wasnt, she knew what she was doing, she should hvae never got into her bed. Move on!
2006-11-03 10:03:22 · answer #10 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one. She was stupid to get in her bed with him. i think she knew what see was doing.
Did she tell him NO did her roommate hear her. Does she want to go to the Police. Was she upset at all about it. Just go with you first thought. I think you did the right thing
2006-11-03 10:06:15 · answer #11 · answered by prettygirl5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋