Have you ever loved someone who treated you like crap? Why?

Question

I was in a relationship for about 5 years with someone who did nothing but treat me poorly. I still can't understand why I let this happen to me. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I think most of us have been there. I'm glad you got out I know it isn't easy. I don't know why we get and stay in those kind of relationships maybe we have to learn something about ourselves, that we are good enough to be loved and treated well. I hope you see that about yourself now. Make the next relationship a wonderful one you deserve it.

Answer 2

Well for one, I hope you learn from your mistakes and recognize that this was not a healthy relationship. I think why people stay with people who treat you like crap is 1) you hope they change and 2) you are so use to being with them you don't know anything different. I was in a bad relationship, more emotionally bad than physically, and for whatever reason, I kept with him thinking I really loved him and wanted to be with him. In the end, I realized I am a better person without him, and I hope you come to realize the same thing about yourself.

Answer 3

I stayed married to a man that treated me like crap. I am telling you this is why...in the beginning everything was great and I fell in love with him and he with me (I thought), and then after a couple of years he started cheating on me and I felt as if this was somehow my fault!! I was trying harder to make it work and to "Make" him love me the way I loved him and "Make" want to be with me because I was being such a loving good person. Well, we separated and divorced and it was the best thing that happend to me. Now that I look back I can see that he had beat my self esteme down so far that no matter what he did, I didn't feel I deserved any better. The only good thing, which is also a bad thing, is you go into your future relationships with open eyes and a hardened heart. The people I dated after the divorce had to "earn" my love by respecting me and being good to me. If they started to act disrespectful to me, I would normally give them one more chance, and after that they were history. Now I am married to a man that honestly loves me and shows me this every day.

Answer 4

After so long you get used to it, but what I've found is that if you turn the tables and don't let the things they do bother you(or at least pretend not to)they will become the ones asking this question. It's all human phsycology,they know they can have you and treat you like crap, but when you show them that is just not so anymore, they come begging and eventually this will make you stronger and you'll become more likely to say"payback's a *****"

Answer 5

I don't have first hand experience in this but I used to spend A LOT of time with my cousin and her boyfriend, almost every single minute because they weren't really allowed to see each other so i was the tag along, well my cousin treated him SO bad. he was a nice guy, he would have done anything for her. she just wasn't over her ex i guess. they were only together for about 9 months but about 3 years later he's still in love with her. i think it's because she was his first love. Maybe that was why?

Answer 6

Love make you do some crazy things. When you're in love you're blind to all the negative things. you love that person so much to the point you have wish for everything to be perfect and in your eyes it is. I was in that same situation. You have to learn that if you don;t love yourself first you can't love no one else. Being in love is hard, but the only way to make it healthy for you as well as the person you have to love yourself more than anything. Can you kind of picture what I'm saying, I know its sounds weird. But you cared for that person more than you cared for yourself thats why you put of with it. There is nothing wrong with being in love but you have to know your limit. Love more of you before you can love more of someone else. You let it happen because you didn;t care enough about yourself!!!
Its Happened to me too and many other people

Answer 7

I did the same thing. I think it is because there is always something inside us that makes us think this person will change or for some reason we think we deserve to be treated like crap. I have been told it is low self esteem that makes us attracted to the ones that make us feel like crap all the time.

Answer 8

You were basically in the relationshop because of the good times. You wanted the bad things to go away and felt that the good things in the relationship made it worth saving. That is why I was in a relationship where I was treated like crap.

Answer 9

Since time immemorial we were led to believe that if you really love someone then you have to sacrifice yourself at all cost for his/her sake. It is, I believe, the reason why we let ourselves be used and abused by our loved ones like what happened to you. It may not be a bad idea to most people especially those who are madly in love. But for me who's been there just like you I find the concept simply unfair to say the least. Learn from your mistakes. Next time, fall in love with your eyes open.

Answer 10

We are raised to allow this. When we are young and a school teacher or someone miss treats us and our parents do nothing to them for it or ignore it, we grow up thinking this is allowed. I don't think I loved him, I think I thought that he was the best I could do. By leaving him, I changed my path. And now am married 13 years to someone who treats me great. We allow it because we were raised to believe this is okay behavior. But as adults we can change this. We can't blame our parents as adults, because we do have a choice to put up with it or not. You have to learn to love yourself and believe that you are worth more than you think. That is another reason, thinking we aren't worth better treatment would be another reason. Hope this helps.