what next?sent my son to school dont know if he will get home without being punched kicked e.c.t?

Question

Now waiting for him to get home tend not to ask if hes had a good day but whether anybodys used him has a punch bag.he has been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome and placed in mainstream school which has designated autistic unit,we were made to belive this school would be the making of him teachers who understood him,not judge him ect.2 months into year 7 im again trying to keep my 11 year old sons heart in life and people i cant show him how much it tears me inside when i listenin to him saying "i cant take much more,or how much more am i meant to take? He dosnt let me into his world,it takes awhile to work out whats going on ,since mon hes had his blazer torn right down his back judging by the footprints he was trying to get away while they were kickin him,a bruise down side of face,ball bearing shot at him,then they befriended him which ended up him needing a icepack on his head he wants to go to school his 1 wish to have friends and to be accepted not much to ask 4 impossable todo

Answer 1

Starting senior school it difficult for any child but for a child with Autism it is very difficult. I have two children with ASD and the oldest is in year 10 and attends mainstream school.
If I were you I would be onto the SENCO to see what is going on. Write down your concerns, it they dont know, they can't help. There are many kids in senior school and if the school has many kids with special needs they may have bypassed your son's difficulties/bullying. Never put up with bullying, it is so damaging.
As far as the bullying is concerned be careful what you imagine it is often much worse than the reality. My son was coming home with pen all over his face and I thought he was the target of bullying....it didn't turn out to be this at all.
School should be able to pair him up with a buddy to help him around school.
The best advice I can give you is that make yourself visual at school as far as attending events and open evenings and also complaining, they will get the idea you are not tolerating anything.
My son is coping at school but I still have days where I cry after he has left as my heart "goes out to him" part of me is scared the other part is proud and life is difficult.
If all else fails there are Autistic support services in most twoms and cities or contact your LEA. But school will act casue they have no choice. Do not remove him from school, he desperately needs the social skills he will gain there.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

Most schools have a 0 tolerance for bullying may their could be some way you could find out who these kids are and turn their names into the school and tell the principle that your not gonna tolerate the abuse your son takes and if the principle doesn't take action then go to the school board of education and if that doesn't work then really get some attention from the people in your town/city and call a local news paper and tell them that you have gone to the principle and board and nothing has been done and they should run an article about bullying in school and how every1 seems to be undisturbed by it but you. Get him into other activities maybe sports or classes on art or acting where he can meet new ppl outside school being on a team or around ppl that have the same interests as you always make your feel better and that's how friendships start.I wish all the best for your son and you good luck :)

Answer 3

As a parent you are your child's advocate. It is up to you to go to the school and request a conference. As angering as it is and as much as you want to scream and yell, you need to be calm. The teachers and administrators will be able to understand and fix the problem when dealing with a rational parent. When the teacher has to spend time calming you down it is time that could be spent fixing the problem.

Since your child has aspergers, he is not processing the world in the same way as other children. So, having him take a class or stand up for himself, most likely will not be the best answer. The Special Education teacher should have ideas to help keep your child safe. Together you can come up with a plan. Use words like "harrassment", and "Assault". Also, make sure the teacher understand your child is feeling "threatened". These are strong "buzz" words that should get the admins attention.

If the teacher doesn't seem to be taking you serious, you can tell them you will be getting restraining orders on the students involved. It will be up tp the school to make sure the restraining order is upheld. that is a giant pain and they will want to avoid it. Also, do not hesitate to call the police on the students involved. It is assault.

Most of all do not give up. Your child has the right to a safe education. It is up to the school district to provide that enviroment. Concider finding a support group of parents with children with aspergers. That way you will not feel so alone and can find other resources and maybe a friend for your son.

Answer 4

I have a step son with aspergers and he has the same problems, he is only 8 at the moment but very big for his age, he too is in a mainstream school but not for long, He is constantly being sent out of the room for being naughty when in fact he truely cant help himself, he often asks why he does inappropriate things without thinking, he has no friends and sits on his own all day and at lunch time, although he is not yet being bullied we know the day will come. Other kids look at him and you can see they think he is weird, he is also over weight and we know how cruel children can be. Personally if i were you I would keep him at home until the school either sorts this problem out or move him, The stories in the paper of teenagers killing themselves are all to familiar. Ask social services for some help in getting him into the right school, or some help with home tuition, the chances are if your in the uk you will qualify for some help. You cannot ignore this and hope for the best, He may not let you into his little world but deep down he is screaming for your help. You bought him into the world you are the only one who can protect him.

Goodluck, I hope things turn out ok xx

Answer 5

My husband's daughter was just diagnosed with this same thing. She's going to be 12(?) or 13 next month and goes to such a small school..and her mother (a nut job) keeps her from interacting with anyone BUT her...so his daughter wasn't getting the right treatment. I'd contact the school and make a big stink about this! Tell the school that if something isn't done..You will bring a law suit against the school system, the students involved etc...Make sure your son keeps trying to learn and interact..and keep your chin up..things will get better!

Answer 6

Those kids that are doing this are mean, cruel and nasty and I have to say that the buck stops with the parents! You should go down to the school make damn well sure the head is aware of the problem, make sure that form tutors speak to their form and get to the bottom of exactly which kids are doing this. They should then be suspended. Those kids parents should then be contacted and made aware of what their 'little rays of sunshine' are doing to your son and how they are ruining his life. How would those parents feel if they knew their child was being attacked like this for no reason at all. It would break their hearts.
I hope it all works out for you. x

Answer 7

You poor thing, that would be awful to know what is happening to you child, other children can be so cruel and to hurt another child in that way is disgusting. Take him out of that school, it would be doing more damage than good. One of my sons was being bullied in year two and he never told me, one day I knew something wasn't right and kept at him and at him and eventually he told me that it was getting too hard to hide and he had been thrown down stairs, other kids would hold his arms while others punched him in the face, I flew into a rage and stormed into that school and did not leave until it was sorted and by god I let my anger out. That school used to be proud of their no tolernce bullying programme yet there was so much of it going on. Don't sit back, take him out of the mainstream school and into a school where he will accepted by others. Don't let him suffer anymore, and those horrible down right pigs of children will eventually get whats coming to them in the future. Keep trying different schools until he is happy. Good Luck

Answer 8

Immediately contact the principal and your son.s teacher(s) and set up a meeting.Present your concerns ,in writing, to all parties and state that you will not tolerate these attacks on your son.The school has a responsibility to address this situation with the students and their parents and hold them accountable for their actions. These so called "normal" or mainstream students should be held accountable for their behaviour.Your school board should have written board policy for addressing bullying and the principal is required to enforce it. This sounds like a step above simple bullying and is an assault. Let the school know you are prepared to contact the police and have criminal charges laid against the offenders, their parents and the school employees who are failing to protect your son when he is on school property. I would also be tempted to involve child protective services for the parents for failing to monitor their children.Your child has enough to cope with , without otherrs placing obstacles in his way. EVERY child is entitled to an education in a positive and safe environment. If the above does not get satisfactory results contact every politician ( at every level from school trustee, state representative ,etc,)and the media if needed. Someone will listen.The cowards that are behaving in this manner will continue to act this way simply because they get away with it.I would also contact a lawyer and seek criminal prosecution of all offenders.

Answer 9

My heart and prayers are with you and your son. I like the idea of karate or kickboxing (good answer) I think it will help him focus might be able to communicate more and it would protect him. Is there any way you can switch schools. I can't imagine how painful it is for you to watch but get the school involved with what is going on if you can't move him. He needs protection and you can't be there!! God Bless, I hope everything works out for the best!

Answer 10

How shocking it is to read about your poor son. I'd advise you speak to school and if nothing is done state that you'll take it further to the relevant authorities. Also it may be an idea to take the matter up with the media to highlight the problem. Have you contacted Social Services because he is autistic he should have an allocated worker?

I do hope everything turns out allright for him, my heart goes out to him.